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Tim V

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Status Updates posted by Tim V

  1. storms in channel continent cut off

    1. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Storms in channel, Cornwall and West Devon cut off.

    2. Patrick

      Patrick

      I hope they've taken the roads in...

    3. 43179

      43179

      Dover for the continent , Bognor for the incontinent

  2. Ten green bottles...

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. 69843

      69843

      And if one green bottle should accidentally fall?

    3. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      He'll get a penalty charge notice from the local council.

    4. 69843
  3. The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind....

    1. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      ....after my veg curry.

    2. Ozexpatriate

      Ozexpatriate

      Nobelpriset i litteratur

  4. The painter constructs, the photographer discloses.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. sharris

      sharris

      "the photographer discloses..." specially when there's a top-secret government report that a minister has been careless enough to carry around unshielded.

    3. Hroth

      Hroth

      And the Critic disposes.

       

      Come the revolution, after the lawyers....

    4. Porcy Mane

      Porcy Mane

      The painter imagines, the photographer records.

  5. The rats have all got rickets, they spit through broken teeth

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      It's so insubstantial, it swerves on the curves.

      The noise of the upholstery batters the nerves.

      If you were a passenger day after day

      You'd pay to have somebody blow you away.

      As I travel these tracks I cannot forgive

      How I lose by degrees the incentive to live

      Knowing that vengeance will never be mine

      That's what hurts on the misery line...

       

       

    3. Tim V

      Tim V

      Doctor? John Cooper Clark

    4. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      A Dr indeed, sir. Didn't have enough space for all of "Network Southeast" (above).

       

       

  6. The shocking spelling and grammar I encounter. Some posts are so bad I cannot understand what is being said.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Huw Griffiths

      Huw Griffiths

      For some reason, I'm reminded of a train journey home from work some years back.

      I was talking to an English teacher - and commented that she probably wasn't too keen on some of the words used by some of her pupils.

      Her reply was telling - an evil grin, plus a comment: "At least I know how to SPELL them!"

      Can't argue with that.

    3. SHMD

      SHMD

      Sorry - ill try harder!

    4. 69843

      69843

      Watts thu bigprobalum?

  7. The Stone Poneys

  8. The time has come, the Walrus said, to speak of many things....

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Platform 1

      Platform 1

      ..of sailing ships and sealing wax...

    3. MarkC

      MarkC

      ...and why the sea is boiling hot?

    4. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      What is the taste of the colour blue?

  9. The time has come,' the Walrus said, "To talk of many things: Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing-wax -- Of cabbages -- and kings --

    1. Mel_H

      Mel_H

      And why the sea is boiling hot--

      And whether pigs have wings.

    2. Worsdell forever

      Worsdell forever

      They get up to some strange things in Sunderland...

  10. There was I, diggin' this hole, hole in the ground, so big and sorta round ....

    1. MarkC

      MarkC

      There was I, digging it deep...

      It was flat at at the bottom and the sides were steep...

    2. yorkie_pudd

      yorkie_pudd

      The great Bernard Cribbins

    3. steve22

      steve22

      I think I must have first heard it c1960 not long after first starting school. Hated school to begin with so this song always makes me feel depressed - can't help the occasional smile, mind you. Sums up my life, ever since.

  11. There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. vaughan45

      vaughan45

      About the same level as me then!!

    3. allan downes

      allan downes

      I don't work there anymore. I stack shelves in Tesco's. I'm making a comeback tomorrow.

    4. Hroth

      Hroth

      Uh-huh-huh...

  12. Three weeks without broadband. Finally back on line!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Meanwhile, in an office in Ealing, we've been without broadband and phone since last Thursday and thinking of claiming compo....

    3. Trebor

      Trebor

      ah, the joys of super fast boredband...

       

    4. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Oh Tim, we've missed you!

  13. Too much automation on computers these days, whatever happened to being able to instal a printer manually?

  14. Upgraded broadband? Don't bother, 40 meg is worse than the 12 I had before, can't listen to Iplayer without constant buffering

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Blue Max

      Blue Max

      It can take 1 or 2 weeks to settle in. Moved to Infinity started of at 35 meg now getting 65 meg.

    3. John M Upton

      John M Upton

      BT Openreach upgraded the local infrastructure to allow ISP's to bring faster broadband a couple of months back. My usuable quick broadband has now slowed down to a crawl with frequent downtime. Not impressed!!!

    4. admiles

      admiles

      I'm lucky to get 0.5 Meg! On a good day. And I don't live way out in the sticks either

  15. What do you expect me to do, hedge hop?

    1. Claude_Dreyfus

      Claude_Dreyfus

      Can't go yet, Squire's not here.

  16. What is happening? Trick or Treat, Black Friday, a few years ago no one had heard of this stuff.

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. Tim V

      Tim V

      We need another bank holiday - how about Thanksgiving day?

    3. Trainshed Terry

      Trainshed Terry

      The UK is the 53 state.

    4. DougN

      DougN

      Don't worry it has spread to Australia too.... stuff it I'm at home and I am staying here!

  17. What's in it for me?

    1. beast66606

      beast66606

      "Sand" was the answer last time I asked that

       

    2. 10800
  18. What's on your mind?

  19. When routine bites hard, And ambitions are low. And resentment rides high,

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. TheCuckoo

      TheCuckoo

      Love will tear us apart. Fabulous.

       

    3. gwrrob

      gwrrob

      Oh yes ,I remember the Paul Young version.

    4. beast66606

      beast66606

      Paul Young ? - pfff Mr Curtis does it best

  20. When two tribes go to war...

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      The shops never have enough war paint...

    3. Kev_Lewis

      Kev_Lewis

      Relax! .....no, wait.

    4. gwrrob

      gwrrob

      Nearly thirty years ago they did.

  21. Why did my camera seem to point the wrong way when I was younger?

    1. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      I dunno, you seem to have done pretty well, matey!

    2. Trebor

      Trebor

      More then like it was something to do with short skirts, and skimpy tops!

    3. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      But how did you know??!!

  22. Why is it that some people expect to be spoon fed? I get fed up with those who expect others in Eforum land to give them the answer, and are not prepared to put themselves out in any way, shape, or form. An example is not prepared to go and look.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      It's the laziness of modern society.

    3. beast66606

      beast66606

      There are some who feel they are above advice and merely label those helping as "interfering know-it-alls" - these are the people who actually need the advice more than anyone.

    4. Tim V

      Tim V

      Instant gratification. The bane of Eforum land.

  23. Why is it that, on an empty road, when you want to cross it, something comes along. Grrrr

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