Modelling mojo and state of mind

[Big James]

My mojo has come back for the time being but not towards my old project. I feel like right now I’ve reached a creative dead end with it. 
I bought my first new building for my new project and my partner bought me another building. Here’s the problem I’ve been grappling with though. This time round I would like to have the boards professionally made and use peco track. But right now I’m in a bit of a financial bind. I have acquired a lot of stock over the years with some of if not being used. Do I move it on to fund my baseboards and track or do I keep it for another day that might not happen? 
 

Big James

Edited April 11, 2022 by Big James

[33C]

59 minutes ago, Big James said:

My mojo has come back for the time being but not towards my old project. I feel like right now I’ve reached a creative dead end with it. 
I bought my first new building for my new project and my partner bought me another building. Here’s the problem I’ve been grappling with though. This time round I would like to have the boards professionally made and use peco track. But right now I’m in a bit of a financial bind. I have acquired a lot of stock over the years with some of if not being used. Do I move it on to fund my baseboards and track or do I keep it for another day that might not happen? 
 

Big James

I think you have answered your own question there. Move on the stuff that you have, as "it might not happen" to fund the thing that will. You need boards and track. Without those, you cannot run anything. That way the project is self funding. If you sell stuff you MAY later regret/need you can always re-acquire it later on the second hand market and it may well be cheaper!

[rob D2]

4 hours ago, 33C said:

I think you have answered your own question there. Move on the stuff that you have, as "it might not happen" to fund the thing that will. You need boards and track. Without those, you cannot run anything. That way the project is self funding. If you sell stuff you MAY later regret/need you can always re-acquire it later on the second hand market and it may well be cheaper!

I'd agree you need to refinance the model , but sleep on any stock sales before commiting - the way the second hand market has gone / the expense of new versions of what i have , means i probably couldn't replace a lot of it 

[Big James]

Thank you for the kind advice. 
I’ve decided to move stock on. I’m not going to bother with the hassle of eBay after being burned the last few times. I think I will use a well known box shifter to take them on. I won’t get the full value but I won’t have any blow back like last time. When I’ve got things set up I’m going to start a new thread for the new layout. Which I’ll call New Hythe and it’ll be set in the south east. That’s about as far as I’ve got with the planning. 
 

Big James

Edited April 12, 2022 by Big James

[woodenhead]

I ended up with stock in two scales N and OO, the N came first until I dipped my toe back into OO and found I liked it.  Then a couple of years ago I had a room change and with no layout I did something in N again and found myself enjoying the N stuff again so the OO remained boxed up.

 

Two years later I have some N stock that is redundant to my plans and a lot of OO that probably won't see the light of day for years.  Keeping it all seems daft, I am definitely wedded to the N gauge layout as I can run longer trains than I would in OO and if I did do another OO layout it's going to be a shunting one and probably no station.  Given my age I am not probably going to make anymore big changes i.e. larger N layout, OO plank so I need to trim down, having stock with no purpose is actually stressful to me.

 

Selling the excess also allows me to purchase more for the layouts I do have planned - so that means more sound for my diesels and potentially for the OO plank too which will be GWR.

 

I think we are all guilty of buying on impulse sometimes and as our ideas develop you have to let go of the stuff you no longer require.

 

Just make sure before you do sell that you are sure you won't change your mind later or that you won't beat yourself up for selling something you later want again (important for the mojo this last bit, being kind to yourself).

[Coldgunner]

I've now recognised how much I'm losing my temper with things. Its a lot to do with dealing with grief I think. Have booked 2 weeks off in May, hopefully I can get my head together bit more.

[Coldgunner]

On annual leave this week and next, and oh my god do I feel 'free'. Been making a point of going out and doing things for a bit of R&R, and away oop' norf' for the week next week. Will be able to take in what the North East has to offer (Beamish for my third trip there too). Although trains are my passion, planes and automobiles aren't far behind, took a tour of a Vulcan cockpit on Monday.

 

 

[fulton]

On 12/04/2022 at 15:12, woodenhead said:

 

 

Just make sure before you do sell that you are sure you won't change your mind later or that you won't beat yourself up for selling something you later want again (important for the mojo this last bit, being kind to yourself).

I know the feeling, do you sell or keep, I lost interest in 4mm some twenty years ago, tried selling some brass kits, got offered so little I decided to keep, am now back with a new 4mm layout, pleased I hung on to the stuff, having said that, I did sell a load of HO to a dealer last year as realistically there was much too much for me to ever use again, the price was right, pleased to have the cash and more room.

[Tangoman69]

8 hours ago, Coldgunner said:

On annual leave this week and next, and oh my god do I feel 'free'. Been making a point of going out and doing things for a bit of R&R, and away oop' norf' for the week next week. Will be able to take in what the North East has to offer (Beamish for my third trip there too). Although trains are my passion, planes and automobiles aren't far behind, took a tour of a Vulcan cockpit on Monday.

 

 

If you get a chance, can I recommend the Yorkshire Air Museum for part of your trip North?

Some great aircraft and stands, with lots of enthusiastic staff!

 

Karl

[figworthy]

11 hours ago, Coldgunner said:

took a tour of a Vulcan cockpit on Monday.

 

 

Where did you do that ?

 

Adrian

[Coldgunner]

2 hours ago, Tangoman69 said:

If you get a chance, can I recommend the Yorkshire Air Museum for part of your trip North?

Some great aircraft and stands, with lots of enthusiastic staff!

 

Karl

 

Went there many years ago, seemed to be a very similar setup to Newark. Something I like about the small museum vibe. I love places like Duxford or Cosford, but there's something you get at the smaller places that the big 'uns miss out on.

 

9 minutes ago, figworthy said:

 

Where did you do that ?

 

Adrian

 

Newark Air Museum, they do it on certain days, just gotta have a pound for the collection :)

[figworthy]

21 minutes ago, Coldgunner said:

Newark Air Museum, they do it on certain days, just gotta have a pound for the collection :)

 

Thanks.

 

Adrian

[Dava]

Summoned to a meeting with University Faculty Dean/PVC today, whilst teaching students. Informed I am provisionally at risk of redundancy. Uni has £14m deficit due to mismanagement (good times roll etc).. I have been teaching 109:1 SSR course for international students, I am the 1 staffer, many late joiners. Worked very hard this yeAr & just feel dumped on. 
 

Friday, tickets booked EMR to St Pancreas, Eurostar Paris & Lyon to see my grandbabies, then to Dijon for a conference, self funded, where I am doing plenary presentation of my paper. I am a thought leader in Europe & discarded at home. Go compute as they say . Yes #Brexit is a huge ****-up. 
 

Dava

Edited May 6, 2022 by Dava
Amend

[woodenhead]

It sounds like your visit to Dijon may be an opportunity, given what you've just been informed, it couldn't come at a better time.

 

This sort of stuff goes on everywhere, my company is going through a restructure, I can see a well respected leader being sidelined and it' painful to watch.

[Coldgunner]

Think my place will go the same way, can see a re-structure happening. Hopefully positioned myself in such a way that I won't be negatively affected, but we can't always be certain. I'm a "sayer" at work, some people don't like that.

[47137]

Do not worry about threats of redundancies; rather, see them as a prompt to look for fresh opportunities.

 

I worked for a major electronics company for 21 years. They had a round of redundancies for 19 of those years and I used to worry myself sick. I finally quit and got a four-hour leaving interview for my trouble, aka a grilling on why I was leaving. There is nothing left of the place now, and looking back I reckon the company was being deliberately managed to make it fail in a sort of slow, run down and controlled way.

 

I chose self-employment and this brought food to my table along with a far better level of self-esteem. All you need to do is to do your best and don't take the mickey (just charge the market rate), and you will get repeat business. It is not difficult and when you sacrifice (say) one Saturday a month to do the books it doesn't hurt. Rather, you never ask for annual leave, but go out into the fresh air when you feel like it.

 

- Richard.

[Northmoor]

My wife and I worked at the same defence company.  Her role was made redundant but after some initial upset, she realised she no longer enjoyed it anymore anyway.  In probably the best decision we could have made, she didn't go straight out to get an equivalent job; we calculated that most of her earnings would go on childcare every day but without her commuting - we used to go in separately, at different times - without childcare costs, we were about £100/month worse off once her redundancy payment had been used to pay down the outstanding mortgage by about 20%.  We could cope with that.  She started volunteering then became employed part-time at the local school (at the end of the street!), eventually becoming full-time.  She earns much less than before and it brings different stresses, but we've never regretted choosing the less obvious path.

 

When I was made redundant two years later it was the latest in a long series of lay-offs; when it got round to me I remember feeling a strange sense of relief, now I KNEW I was leaving instead of wondering when it MIGHT happen.  The day after being told I was at risk, I already had a job interview lined up, because I'd seen the way our workload was going.  I was able to take the redundancy (another large chunk off the mortgage) and almost walk straight into another role.  Unfortunately I never got on with the culture at this new company and was gladly out of it after three years, but have now been with my current employer in a different industry for eight with no plans to move on.  Various restructuring plans and funding issues mean there are plenty voting with their feet, but for now it means there is plenty to keep me busy.

 

Redundancy can be painful, but I always advise anyone in that position to ask themselves, "What income do I need to live and what do I need just to do this job?".  Sometimes you can be better off - and not just financially - taking a lower-paid role that doesn't take so much from you.

[fulton]

Yes redundancy is a big upset, I was made redundant after 32 years in one industry, to be honest I was becoming jaded, the last firm I worked for I took the car allowance rather than the company car, thinking it may not last. When the end did come I took the opportunity to take a year and a half out, I was lucky to have some savings, then retrained and worked in a totally different industry for ten years, a lot less money than previous, but also less stress, which I enjoyed, covid brought that job to an end, now happily looking forward to my first pension payment in a few weeks.

[john new]

Workplace stress can be a killer (literally). I am sure that it was a major contributor to my heart condition discovered in 2007 (quad by-pass needed). I was trapped by pension and other considerations in a toxic atmosphere, with no other jobs available locally I could apply for. If you have an opportunity to get out, even at a pay drop, if you can cope with that take it ASAP. I got an early retirement when redundancies came round, which was an actual total income pay drop. In total though I got the mortgage paid off so very definitely worth it and in real £ terms little difference. The health impact though - immeasurably positive as the mental bonus goes off the scale.

[ianathompson]

I suppose that the only people posting here are the ones who successfully transitioned from one job to another, so it is rather self-selective.

I don't imagine that anyone for whom redundancy was a personal disaster is likely to post.

 

My own experiences reflect this.

I left teaching twenty odd years ago and never regretted it.

I was "over qualified" in that I had a PhD which caused great suspicion and fear amonst senior management.

I escaped at the first credible opportunity by demanding the redundancy package being made available, whilst going through a spurious disciplinary charge.

 

I then worked for three years on a seasonal basis in a local factory before deciding that I might as well apply for the railways.

My father spent all his working life with them and they were good employers.

It gave me an inside perspective on my hobby and I frequently refer to it on my layout thread.

 

From a practical point of view for those facing redundancy I never found myself short of work when I faced unemployment.

I think that you must try to keep a positive mindset if possible and be prepared to accept what comes along.

Sometimes it is not the job that you want but so long as it puts food on the table and keeps a roof over your head you have to accept it.

That does not mean that you should not be looking for something more suitable in the meantime.

 

As an example, a couple of years after leaving the school I met another (disgruntled) member of staff who asked me how I had fared after escaping.

I told him that I took on a job that involved working night shifts and acting like the Pied Piper when I went out to get samples.

(There were a fair number of rats around the back of the facory.)

Would he like a job?

In essence the answer was "No" because he was not prepared to undergo the mind shift that leaving his comfort zone entailed.

 

Some people manage to go through life without changing their occupation.

For the vast majority of us, I suspect, in this day and age that is unusual.

Hope somebody finds my views useful.

 

Ian T

 

Edited May 7, 2022 by ianathompson
typo

[john new]

Not sure this fits exactly with what @ianathompson meant but a perspective on it.

 

I have had the threat of redundancy several times (5?) since the mid-1980s, including three times post the mid-90s when I was, along with others, effectively made redundant (Job roles disbanded) within the same organisation. I had too many years service in by then for them to economically get rid of me so was forcibly redeployed within the same organisation. This was to other roles which I would never have applied for given a free choice. Staying employed becoming each time far more stressful than in the previous role.

 

The first threat (early 1986) three of us were down for one job due to an internal merger - I cut and ran but had to move 300 miles to get the next job (Fourth interview). 

 

Second time it was two of us for one job, she cut and ran but the new job was the start of the toxicity as it merged former Departments together under unsuitable bullying top managers. It never really gelled and with external pressures for the next 18 years forcing constant financial cut backs with expectations of doing more. The outcome more reorganisations.* 

 

Those cut backs led to other rounds of redundancies, reorganisations, and redeployments into jobs several of us hadn't joined to do. Two of those redeployments I had - at that point I would have taken redundancy (it would have paid the mortgage off) and gone self-employed or into something else. I was by then too expensive to dispense with hence the redeployments. Looking back I think that for myself, and two other senior managers in the same position, this was all done to make life deliberately difficult in the hope we would resign rather than them having to pay us off. 

 

As I said above, although money isn't everything, with a wife, children and a mortgage to pay there are times you have to fight to stay, at other times you would happily go but due to the contracted costs if you do go they can't afford to pay you off.

 

* Since I got out in 2008 it got worse for those left, the organisation eventually being split into two, with one part significantly downsized, the services in the other part merged with other bodies to form one larger one. 

 

 

Edited May 7, 2022 by john new
Bad spelling and grammar corrections.

[Coldgunner]

Thread resurrection #372

Going to tread lightly in respect of rmwebs policies on politics, but will just say that the current 'situation' is going to have repurcussions for decades. My age group seems to be one of the bigger targets for taking up the burden, and I don't think many people will see the next few years. Sky high utlity bills, ever increasing costs on people who NEED to drive and now more hoops to jump through if you intend to leave this bloody country. Progress my arse!

 

On top of that had some bad and good news, my aunt (sister of my Dad who passed in Feburary) had cancer in the womb. Has had surgery and thankfully got the all clear, but the fear she was experiencing was all too real.

 

And finally I work with a bunch of morons. Some of the guys are great, but we're picking up the slack and its just not fair. I have much more experience and doing more than my fair share of the workload, yet get the same rates. On paper they'd call service desk work unskilled, but it should be paid as a skilled job.

[great central]

  I'm not sure  I should be posting this but the frustration I'm feeling is becoming very difficult to bear.

I'm four years past normal retirement age but still working full time from choice. Working on the railway, although an enforced (strike) day off today, doing a job that 99% of the time I thoroughly enjoy, just the odd 1% down to troublesome passengers.

My frustration begins almost the moment I get home, my wife does have some physical problems, most notably severe back pain, but it's the way she constantly complains and has to remind me every few minutes how bad everything is. The most recent thing is a couple of oil lamp shades bought from an eBay seller,  one of which arrived this morning. The other hasn't arrived yet so she's harping on that they've scammed her and she's going to lose her money and just going on and on.

I've sent a message to the seller from my eBay account so hopefully it's probably just been sent as two parcels.

She's also got a rather old phone which I'm trying to offer to get a newer model but that gets dismissed because she says she can't afford another £3 a month, paying £10 a month now, her phone is an android v.3, pretty ancient I think. 

What's really annoying is that if someone else suggests something she's all over it and telling me that it's great, I fitted an outdoor tap on Tuesday but the hose end fitting could do with changing for a trigger type. I've already said I'll get one tomorrow but next door neighbour has one and a friend fitted it while I was doing something else. Sadly it leaks but it seems it's now down to me to sort out, arrrggghhh!!

As for modelling time, I've almost totally given up on that one because I have to do pretty much everything else. I'm trying to keep fairly fit using an exercise bike and some weights in the garage in the evening, but even motivation for that can be hard to come by lately.

I have a very good friend I used to work with who's currently undergoing tests and such for cancer, simply gets on with life, with a smile despite a certain amount of pain and discomfort at times, not to mention the grief she gets from her daughters.

I spend an hour or two with her when I can but my wife wants to know where I am and who with for much of the time. I tried telling her that my friend was just that but she doesn't accept that male and female can simply be very good friends so I have to be quite devious about it, although my wife has quite a few male friends!

Realistically I probably should have got out of this years ago but didn't because my son was unable to find a regular job and become independent, he's now a fully qualified driving instructor and doing pretty well and in a stable loving relationship with his girlfriend. 

Not really looking for advice as such, I know the reality of my situation, just needed to vent a little, I hope people can understand. 

 

 

Edit: already had a reply regarding the lamp shades, they simply missed out the second one, being despatched tomorrow.

Got a rather grudging thank you for that, mustn't go over the top!

 

Edited June 23, 2022 by great central
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[Coldgunner]

That's honestly a tough one, and I of course don't live in your shoes. I think you have to work out what will make you happy. Have you tried talking about it? Sounds simplistic I know but is it worth a shot?

[MrWolf]

I've been there myself but fortunately I was only in my twenties and there were no children.i realised that I was pulling the cart both in the relationship and in the home. I was the one making all the effort, all the compromises, I was the one paying for everything. She was making similar money to me and God alone knows what she did with it.

Sometimes I think that we men get blinded in relationships. Contrary to what we're told, we aren't always the villain of the piece. It cost me pretty much everything I had to realise that.

From what you've written, it sounds like she no longer respects you, but relies on you, whether or not she really needs to, resents it and in turn resents you.

If she won't give you her best, why should you continue to give yours?

Ignore her words, focus on her actions.

We're not like our parents and grandparents, a lot of modern women think about marriage as a grand wedding day and not a lifetime of supporting and loving each other.

Disdain anyone who rejects you in this way, ignoring them is the best revenge..

It's a fact that women cheat more than men do, don't let her accusations blind you, she may have more to hide.

Don't get bitter, if it pans out badly, accept that sometimes you're flogging a dead horse and move on. We're on this earth for a very short time.

Don't get into too much of a discussion about the way you are feeling until you have taken some professional help, you may lose more than you gain.

If you aren't happy, you have to be low tolerance for the sake of your sanity. Be prepared to walk away.

This is just my two cents worth, but I've had a few relationships which didn't end well and they followed a similar pattern.