Modelling mojo and state of mind

[Richard_A]

I too had a relationship like that and I only stayed because of her son who was a lovely kid but his dad wasn't interested in him and his mum because of her depression could be really horrible to him.

 

In the end I had to walk away because I was starting to doubt my own sanity and the relationship was becoming extremely volatile, it was the best decision I have ever made, after a few years I met my current partner who helped me get through university and now have two lovely children I don't get much modelling time but my life is 100% better than my time with the ex. 

 

Don't be afraid to start again it might be the best move you ever make. 

[Northmoor]

On 23/06/2022 at 22:14, great central said:

  I'm not sure  I should be posting this but the frustration I'm feeling is becoming very difficult to bear.

If getting it off your chest helped your mood and/or avoided one argument (where something memorably hurtful might have been said), I'd say you posting here was the right thing .

[Guest Jack Benson]

Hi,

Coming almost to the end of a project that began eleven years ago that has suffered more than its fair shate of ebbs and flows (two of the original three builders/chums have passed) and this has led to an almost complete loss of interest culminating in abandoning the original layout thread after most of the images were lost. Even worse were thoughts of returning to German outline in HO last seen as Pottendorf but sold due to the illness that was the heart attack in 2019, it seemed a easy answer to reigniting some interest but it also ignored why it had fallen out of favour in the first place.

So, here we are half way through 2022 and everything seems to have ground to a halt, all the locos and rolling stock have been built etc........boredom is beginning to replace purpose. 

 

However, a side project has begun, the creation of a cottage garden on a diorama base which will be used on the layout, this simple act of making something is rather pleasant and the elusive mojo maybe on its return journey.......who knows?

 

Today's task is building this lovely '30s corrugated garage, just big enough for an Austin 7.

 

 

 

Stay Safe

 

[Blandford1969]

Mojo is a funny thing, you go along for ages, thinking you are ok, but all you are really doing is paying the bills but you even though the job had improved as it had got you away from certain triggers you always felt like you were put on a course that would be ended sooner or later. 

 

All that time actually responding to messages, emails , dealing with conflict got harder. It became easier to not respond to messages when I felt they were going to be unhappy or aggressive ones.  Over time that applied more and more outside of work and on Facebook groups that I have set up. 

 

Finally on Wednesday I was called into the office for a normal 1-2-1. The start of which started with I have some thing really bad I need to talk to you about. Well that bad thing was being told in 13 days I was going to be made redundant. Yes I'm upset, but ironically it has helped my Mojo no end. Now its a case of trying to get as much money out of them as possible and enjoy some time off.  

 

I've managed to do more since the news was given than in many a long year. 

[Blandford1969]

As an addendum, you might even get to see some proper modelling from me :)

 

[MrWolf]

I pretty much do my own thing and I've been lucky enough to do so for the last four years. 

I wasn't sure about it at first until it was pointed out that at least I was no longer getting out of bed in the morning to make someone else a millionaire.

[Blandford1969]

I'm posting here because its safe and its away from people who can pass it straight back rather than talking to me (yes that has happened) . 

 

Why is it so dam exhausting being upbeat and positive when you know you are being made redundant in days. Playing politics saying things will be fine when you are gone when you know the work will not get picked up.  Not being given support over tax questions and told 'that's just as it goes' 

 

As if to rub salt in at the same time more work is still being given to me even though there is not enough time to finish what is there.  Hopefully things will start to improve once I am past the day I leave. 

 

I'm writing this here in truth to get it out of me,  even though I am playing the game as I want people to have a positive view of me as I leave.  However the cloud is getting larger and darker. 

[john new]

56 minutes ago, Blandford1969 said:

I'm posting here because its safe and its away from people who can pass it straight back rather than talking to me (yes that has happened) . 

 

Why is it so dam exhausting being upbeat and positive when you know you are being made redundant in days. Playing politics saying things will be fine when you are gone when you know the work will not get picked up.  Not being given support over tax questions and told 'that's just as it goes' 

 

As if to rub salt in at the same time more work is still being given to me even though there is not enough time to finish what is there.  Hopefully things will start to improve once I am past the day I leave. 

 

I'm writing this here in truth to get it out of me,  even though I am playing the game as I want people to have a positive view of me as I leave.  However the cloud is getting larger and darker. 

Having been in similar, albeit not exactly comparable positions (forcibly redeployed twice to roles I didn't want), you have to remember that if management have given you stuff that can't be completed by the deadline they have set that is their, i.e. management's, issue not yours.  What doesn't get done gets left, if relevant leave completion notes, but walk away. It is tough on the former colleagues left behind with increasing workloads, and less bums on seats (been there too after colleagues left and their vacant posts were not refilled) but again theirs are not your problem. All you can do is dig deep and try not to crack - look after yourself  as best you can and sod the employer - it is them not you that are responsible for the change.

[Blandford1969]

20 minutes ago, john new said:

Having been in similar, albeit not exactly comparable positions (forcibly redeployed twice to roles I didn't want), you have to remember that if management have given you stuff that can't be completed by the deadline they have set that is their, i.e. management's, issue not yours.  What doesn't get done gets left, if relevant leave completion notes, but walk away. It is tough on the former colleagues left behind with increasing workloads, and less bums on seats (been there too after colleagues left and their vacant posts were not refilled) but again theirs are not your problem. All you can do is dig deep and try not to crack - look after yourself  as best you can and sod the employer - it is them not you that are responsible for the change.

Thanks, that's appreciated. I wrote it to get it out. It feels like I'm easy pickings at the moment from all sorts of angles and places. 

[Northmoor]

8 hours ago, Blandford1969 said:

I'm writing this here in truth to get it out of me,  even though I am playing the game as I want people to have a positive view of me as I leave.  

It is completely understandable to worry about not leaving people with a poor impression, even if you've been set a fantasy target.  Do remember that your employer, even if they wanted to blame you (or any other former employees) for their own failings, is not allowed under employment law to make statements explicitly critical of an ex-employee.  The worst they can provide is a meaningless but factually truthful one, e.g. "Fred worked with us for ten years and had a 98% attendance rate".  Such a reference can be interpreted as the employee may be dodgy, but most companies would interpret such a statement as saying more about the other company than the employee, just as they would if it really was a negative reference; it just shows the actions of a spiteful person.

[john new]

Amazing how much mojo improves when an issue that has been a worry gets resolved.

[Blandford1969]

1 hour ago, Balgrayhill said:

2 words fk 'em!!!

 

Those who you get on well with will remember you as you have always been, the others, well let then stew in their own sh*t.  Keep your head up, keep doing what you do, what you get asked to do whether you can finish it or not.   

 

Walk out the door on your last day and look forward to the future, don't be afraid of what could go wrong, be excited about what could go right!

 

I posted a while back that I am facing redundancy.  I have been offered redeployment or redundancy, which I have decided to take.  Once I made that decision if felt as if a weight had been lifted off me, and my friends and family have noticed it too.  Thing is I actually enjoy my job, but its time to go, and the difference I feel having made that decision has confirmed I've made the right decision.

 

Good luck in the future, and remember those 2 words!

 

 

Thanks and yes it does make sense. My own anxiety drives me to always want to work beyond what maybe I should do and always want to do the best. It also drives me to be worried as it is all happening so quickly and there is no control. You are also right that there is a flip side which is becoming clearer. My Dragon in Law (everyone calls her the Dragon) said the day after I looked less grey.  Glad that you are able to let go. To me actually its probably an escape that gets me out of a situation I would have put up with for the next 16 or so years till retirement. 

 

I will certainly remember the words a number of you have said, thank you. 

[cctransuk]

1 hour ago, Blandford1969 said:

Thanks and yes it does make sense. My own anxiety drives me to always want to work beyond what maybe I should do and always want to do the best. It also drives me to be worried as it is all happening so quickly and there is no control. You are also right that there is a flip side which is becoming clearer. My Dragon in Law (everyone calls her the Dragon) said the day after I looked less grey.  Glad that you are able to let go. To me actually its probably an escape that gets me out of a situation I would have put up with for the next 16 or so years till retirement. 

 

I will certainly remember the words a number of you have said, thank you. 

 

Anxiety - it is totally debilitating; the more so since, for a very long time, you don't recognise it.

 

Talk to your GP; do what is recommended; talk to whoever you are referred to and - find a new life that you never knew could exist!!

 

Anxiety is a disease / disability like any other, and is VERY treatable.

 

John Isherwood,

(one who knows first-hand).

[john new]

On 09/07/2022 at 14:37, john new said:

Amazing how much mojo improves when an issue that has been a worry gets resolved.

Sadly now caught beeping COVID.  So far symptoms are only like a bad dose of hay-fever, (which is what I thought it was yesterday) but as the cough didn’t go away did a test this morning. Hopefully, I didn’t infect anyone I talked to on Saturday afternoon watching the various special trains through Upwey, or later at an evening choir event.

[Blandford1969]

1 hour ago, john new said:

Sadly now caught beeping COVID.  So far symptoms are only like a bad dose of hay-fever, (which is what I thought it was yesterday) but as the cough didn’t go away did a test this morning. Hopefully, I didn’t infect anyone I talked to on Saturday afternoon watching the various special trains through Upwey, or later at an evening choir event.

Hope you feel better soon.

[tomparryharry]

Modelling mojo dropped out completely for the last 9 months.: Just finding my way back.  I had hoped to kick-start my interest, but I'm now re-insulating my dining room suspended floor. I anticipate a 'Bar-steward' winter, and happily,  I over-ordered Kingspan just for this eventuality along with the shed, which had also stalled. 

 

Hopefully back on the layout beginning next year: After all, I've got something to look forward to!

[Coldgunner]

I still get the trains out for a play every now and then, the joys of not having a layout but having a boatload of e-z track. Got a job lot of 25 long straights from Hattons years ago, and also acquired loads of points and corner pieces. Great for carpet running all over the downstairs. Simple joys of watching a toy train do its thing I guess.

[Blandford1969]

The inevitable happened today as I hit the upset , frustrated, upset wall today.  I finally said after a call with my boss asking if I had done this that or the other than I have to look after me and I did not make the decisions that now are having a downward pull. 

 

The one good thing is finally having the courage to email a passive aggressive character who had a strop because I would not do what they wanted and who blocked me (thank goodness) One less childish person I don't have to have anything to do with and that is a weight off my shoulders. 

 

I have even ordered some parts to get on with projects like replacing a chimney I lost, even though all the bits were meant to be in the same box !

 

As a friend says each week in his weekly update to us all at a different place KBO 

[MrWolf]

I'm with you on that one.

It always frustrated me that some people would act towards and speak to me at work in a manner that they wouldn't dare to elsewhere. They wouldn't even look me in the eye in the street.

[33C]

Just ask, "everything alright at home?" with a big grin on your face, next time these people get on your case. They are probably being hen-pecked, bullied or put upon themselves and need you to make them feel better. Many a worm can opened!

[cctransuk]

1 hour ago, 33C said:

Just ask, "everything alright at home?" with a big grin on your face, next time these people get on your case. They are probably being hen-pecked, bullied or put upon themselves and need you to make them feel better. Many a worm can opened!

 

I won't go into detail here but, suffice to say, I was once put on a disciplinary charge for telling the truth - which embarrassed a senior local government politician.

 

A hastily convened hearing took place, between myself and a fellow officer; the haste was due to the fact that the enquiry officer was due to go on leave the same evening.

 

I subsequently received, via the HR department a letter, supposedly from that enquiry officer, stating that he had found me guilty. The problem was, on the date that he supposedly wrote and signed the letter, he was in the middle of a fortnight's foreign leave!!

 

My response to the Council Leader in question was that I rejected the enquiry findings on the grounds that they were fraudulent - giving my reasons - and that, under the same circumstances I would do exactly the same again.

 

I heard no more about the matter!!

 

Never underestimate the depths to which senior management will stoop to achieve what they cannot do by legitimate means. Stand up for yourself; do not be intimidated; and say it as it is!

 

John Isherwood.

Edited July 12, 2022 by cctransuk

[Blandford1969]

2 hours ago, 33C said:

Just ask, "everything alright at home?" with a big grin on your face, next time these people get on your case. They are probably being hen-pecked, bullied or put upon themselves and need you to make them feel better. Many a worm can opened!

My Boss does not ask me 'are you ok' now odd that. 

[Blandford1969]

On 12/07/2022 at 21:29, Blandford1969 said:

My Boss does not ask me 'are you ok' now odd that. 

My boss actually asked how I was on Friday, Now its really just a case of wanting a date when this part will be over.  Its coming , just a leaving meal to get through this week. 

[Coldgunner]

I dispise work "do's". A load of people who have nothing to talk about but work. I never have leaving drinks, avoid xmas parties etc.

 

In fact, I volunteer to cover shift over the xmas party. No sod about, no issues to deal with and half the time I get a hamper or take-away on the company as a thanks.

[Blandford1969]

27 minutes ago, Coldgunner said:

I dispise work "do's". A load of people who have nothing to talk about but work. I never have leaving drinks, avoid xmas parties etc.

 

In fact, I volunteer to cover shift over the xmas party. No sod about, no issues to deal with and half the time I get a hamper or take-away on the company as a thanks.

In truth I wonder if my boss will even go. I'd rather not but it would be admitting defeat.