Meaningless Ad-speak

[SM42]

My bug bear is "Every little helps..." Helps what? What are those three dots for?

 

I think the missing bit is; the profit margin.

 

Not so long back (and they may still be doing it now)  a  learning establishment, who's name I forget, claimed to have "Student centric learning"  Well I should darn well think so.

 

Another similar establishment featured a soundbite from one of the students who claimed " to be learning lots of new things". Well that's OK then, the course fees are obviously being put to good use.

 

On the slightly unrelated topic of landing aircraft, When myself and assorted family members flew out to the city where I was to wed Mrs SM42, the landing was enthusiastic when it came to the AGI (aircraft ground interface, the new word for airports) . I was used to spontaneous applause on such flights by this time and I said, rather louder than I should I suppose, " I'm not bl**dy applauding that".

It seemed my fellow passengers agreed as there was a deathly hush throughout the aircraft.

 

Andy (now slightly grumpy)

[BG John]

the AGI (aircraft ground interface, the new word for airports)

Don't you also get one of those if the plane lands between airports/airfields/aerodromes/whatever in an unplanned and rather uncomfortable way?

[Ian J.]

Do you mean the animated GIF I'm using?

Plenty around on the web as well as in some software packages.

 

Just Google "animated GIF".

e.g. http://giphy.com/search/animated-gif

 

or:

 

Keith

 

I think he was referring to the Off Topic smiley, maybe? It's in the smiley list, a way along, but can be added directly by typing

[melmerby]

A phrase which is creeping into ad-land having started out as nonsense business speak is "doing .......... is going to be a big ask"

 

How can ask be big?

 

Keith

 

EDIT According to my dictionary this has been inflicted upon us from down under

[Horsetan]

The "big ask" has been around in football for years. It then made its way into corporate-speak. We're still counting the cost of the damage.

[Pacific231G]

The "big ask" has been around in football for years. It then made its way into corporate-speak. We're still counting the cost of the damage.

Some years ago,  more than enough years to not be recent, Peco used the slogan "The big big read" for Railway Modeller (it still appears on the "About Peco" page in their website though not mercifully elesewhere "The variety of articles published each month together with a huge assortment of adverts, news and reviews make this magazine the really Big, Big read!")  There was also a spate of magazines describing themselves as "Simply the Best" (if it was simple then everyone would be doing it)  Flyer magazine was one of them but I think one of the model rallway magazines also used it.

[wombatofludham]

My bug bear is "Every little helps..." Helps what? What are those three dots for?

 

Andy (now slightly grumpy)

 

Back when ITV's morning programme came from Liverpool with a well known husband and wife team, one of whom had been found shoplifting at Tesco, my friend and I thought about walking past the studio windows with a large "Tesco - Every Little Hubby Helps Themselves" banner.

 

​We thought better of it.

[Derekstuart]

Yes, that's the one. Thanks Ian and Keith. Although I NEVER participate or start conversations off topic of course...

[JCL]

Driving to Cranbrook, BC one day with my wife, we heard some painfully honest advertising from a car dealership on local radio.

 

"If our cars don't come up to our standards, lower your standards!"

 

I don't think they had got the hang of advertising speak.

[BG John]

While on the subject of car salesmen, have you seen the character in the Peco track advert in the current Railway Modeller? He looks just like a 1950s car salesman played by Terry Thomas! Would you buy track from this person?

[SM42]

Driving to Cranbrook, BC one day with my wife, we heard some painfully honest advertising from a car dealership on local radio.

 

"If our cars don't come up to our standards, lower your standards!"

 

I don't think they had got the hang of advertising speak.

 

They are not alone.

 

It seems that almost every cleaning product is as good as not using it.

 

"Nothing cleans dishes / clothes / carpets/ small children/ the neighbour's cat** like (insert product here) "

 

Good. I'll save some cash and use nothing instead.

 

 

Andy

 

** delete as necessary.

[Killybegs]

There was an ad for the new Mercedes E type on the radio (RTE1) this morning. Apparently the car offers 'autonomous and accident free' motoring. Autonomous? Accident free!

[BG John]

They are not alone.

 

It seems that almost every cleaning product is as good as not using it.

 

"Nothing cleans dishes / clothes / carpets/ small children/ the neighbour's cat** like (insert product here) "

 

Good. I'll save some cash and use nothing instead.

 

 

Andy

 

** delete as necessary.

I've never been clear why things are described as "being second to none". What's the point, if not having it is better?

[coachmann]

One image that has prevailed since the dawn of TV advertising is the girl giving a chocolate bar a . 

[Horsetan]

I've never been clear why things are described as "being second to none". What's the point, if not having it is better?

On that basis, nobody should have anything, because having nothing is best 

[coachmann]

On that basis, nobody should have anything, because having nothing is best 

Strangely enough, nothing was often best when I was a boy and we didn't have to settle for models with wrong detail or wrong colour. There was no TV and very few toys in my neighborhood, but we could play cricket on the street, hide & seek on bomb sites, see and get free rides on real pre-war buses and lorries, and watch steam trains to our hearts content. And all the advertising was well away from the living room on street hoardings and railings. Cushty! 

[MJI]

Writing "Designed in Britain" (or insert other country of choice) and putting flags on the packaging to make some made in China stuff sound British or whatever. The ultimate was probably the Rover Cityrover which was a cheap and not at all cheerful Tata Indica from India with a union flag on the tailgate. ATMs advertising "free" cash.

 

city spelt with sh

[Horsetan]

Strangely enough, nothing was often best when I was a boy and we didn't have to settle for models with wrong detail or wrong colour. There was no TV and very few toys in my neighborhood, but we could play cricket on the street, hide & seek on bomb sites, see and get free rides on real pre-war buses and lorries, and watch steam trains to our hearts content. And all the advertising was well away from the living room on street hoardings and railings. Cushty! 

 

[wombatofludham]

Locally produced local radio and TV ads are a goldmine - or minefield, depending on your point of view - of broadcasting tom-tit.  Anyone of a certain age who lived in Staffordshire and tuned to mullet-haired local pop and prattle station Signal will no doubt still be haunted by the faux banter of Slanney on the Tranny, Mr Slann senior and his offspring flogging home furnishings via corny dialogue, or the earworm jingle for Toons Carpets.  I can still remember the words to the Lee Longlands ads from the days of ATV who clearly got favourable rates for advertising from Lou Grade in return for providing prizes for Bullseye and seating and set dressing for ATV chat shows.  Mind you, they weren't exactly Shakespeare, comprising mainly "Leave it, leave it to Lee, Leave it to Lee, Longlands, Leave it, Co-ordinately, tastefully, leave it to Lee Longlands".

 ​I miss the days of truly local radio and TV when you had a bit of proper local colour.

[Coryton]

My bug bear is "Every little helps..." Helps what? What are those three dots for?

 

I have always assumed the dots referred to one's grocery budget.

 

In any case I can't resist this one.

 

The phrase seems to go back quite a way, supposedly at least to a French work in 1590 including the line ' "Every little helps", said the ant, pissing in the sea'.

 

Perhaps Tesco are right to leave it as the three dots.

[Pacific231G]

My favourite naff ad was always the one on Radio Luxemboug during the 1950s and 60s for the "Horace Batchelor Infra Draw Method" for "winning" the football pools. Who can ever forget "Keynsham spelt K-E-Y-N-S-H-A-M, Keynsham Bristol (no post codes in those days of course)

Even as a child it seemed obvious that if his method was that good why was he not using it to make a fortune from doing the pools himself.

Unbelievably there is a company still selling the system.

[Fat Controller]

My favourite naff ad was always the one on Radio Luxemboug during the 1950s and 60s for the "Horace Batchelor Infra Draw Method" for "winning" the football pools. Who can ever forget "Keynsham spelt K-E-Y-N-S-H-A-M, Keynsham Bristol (no post codes in those days of course)

Even as a child it seemed obvious that if his method was that good why was he not using it to make a fortune from doing the pools himself.

Unbelievably there is a company still selling the system.

The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band did a song about him..

[Fat Controller]

I have always assumed the dots referred to one's grocery budget.

 

In any case I can't resist this one.

 

The phrase seems to go back quite a way, supposedly at least to a French work in 1590 including the line ' "Every little helps", said the ant, pissing in the sea'.

 

Perhaps Tesco are right to leave it as the three dots.

'My grandmother's version referred to an 'Old Lady', so presumably 'ant' had become 'aunt'

[Free At Last]

I have only heard this ad on the radio, it sounds like the voice of a moron. Maybe reflecting the people they sell to. They sound like they are asking for a bag of sweets.

[Derekstuart]

Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence I know, but there is something appealing about what you just described.

 

Of course now we live in a consumer society where everything is plentiful (the subject of this thread in fact) but where we have gained material wealth we have lost the very thing that makes us who we are.

Strangely enough, nothing was often best when I was a boy and we didn't have to settle for models with wrong detail or wrong colour. There was no TV and very few toys in my neighborhood, but we could play cricket on the street, hide & seek on bomb sites, see and get free rides on real pre-war buses and lorries, and watch steam trains to our hearts content. And all the advertising was well away from the living room on street hoardings and railings. Cushty!