Alcoholism

[Blackthorn]

I know this will be a tough subject but I have to put my hands up and suffer this.

 

I guess it goes with bein a train nerd.

Edited April 11, 2022 by Blackthorn
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[woodenhead]

I've witnessed enough alcoholism to know it is not something that is specific to being a nerd of any kind.

 

I hope that by your admission that you are suffering this terrible problem that you are seeking help to overcome the challenges it presents and find yourself back in sobriety.

[Blackthorn]

Thank you.

 

I'm not proud of this. Totally ashamed.

 

 

[woodenhead]

5 minutes ago, Blackthorn said:

Thank you.

 

I'm not proud of this. Totally ashamed.

 

 

Admitting you have a problem is the hardest step, it takes courage and from that point you can begin to rebuild.

 

It won't be easy, the world is full of temptation and there will be people who you may see that have not reached a place where they understand that you are trying to walk away from that life.   You need a support group, you need to get that help and above all else remain on the path, because going back will only make it harder.

[Dava]

Actually, I respect Blackthorn for being brave enough to share this.

 

Many people (self included) may experience addictive, dependent, or obsessive and compulsive issues in their lives.

 

Alcohol, drugs, tobacco, gambling, speed, sex and shopping being some of the most pervasive issues. Prolonged lockdowns and isolation haven’t helped. It’s part of the human condition. 
 

Let’s support each other without judgement. I’ve managed to break my workaholism, I’m working on some of the others.
 

Dava

 

[Ozexpatriate]

The pandemic certainly hasn't helped either.

[BlackRat]

I’ve dealt with addiction and alcoholism with family members and friends and professionally.

 

Every one had a back story.

 

You have nothing to be ashamed of and I hope you get the support you need to get thru this.

[adriank]

I've found Hello Sunday Morning helpful in reducing my alcohol intake.

 

Adrian

[tigerburnie]

All power to you, but I don't think you can do it alone, professional help would be my advice, I for one will listen as a virtual friend.

[Mike Buckner]

My friend endured lifelong shame for a debilitating condition - until a genuine therapist got to the bottom of  the problem, and he began to understand that he was feeling "blame" for something that was actually largely outside his control. The relief of knowing this, and the support from an experienced therapist - in this case helped by medication, allowed him to turn the corner.

 

I wish you the same support and relief.

[Cowley 47521]

Fair play @Blackthorn, that can’t have been easy typing that out.

So many people are struggling at the moment and this last couple of years have pushed many over the edge into it being a significant problem. 
 

If you ever want to talk to someone who’s not directly involved then please do contact one of us. I’d be more than happy to help having worked with various people that were dealing with these kinds of issues in my previous job.

There are ways out of this.

 

Nick

[30851]

 

I used to be alcoholic but I managed to break it about 20 years ago and now have no urge at all to even taste the stuff. So I fully under stand how you feel and wish you the best in breaking the cycle - it is well worth it. As mentioned by other posters I would say you have made a great start by admitting you have a problem, I am not sure I could ever have done that.

 

Note - I see a I type this that the video advert in bottom right is for "Shop Total Wine" (it is repeating over and over). Just not going to work.....

 

Rob

[The Johnster]

5 hours ago, Dava said:

Actually, I respect Blackthorn for being brave enough to share this.

 

 

So do I!  I went through a period after the breakup of a relationship and losing my job and home two decades ago during which I was out of control and drinking dangerous quantities cheap cider.  I was thoroughly ashamed of myself and very fortunate to be living at the time near to Dyfrig House, a Cardiff charity that helps alcoholics.  I needed help, and could not have managed to kick the beast on my own.  Dyfrig oversaw a 10 week course of lithium and step reduction of intake, and provided emotional and practical support.  I'd indubitably be dead if it was not for them.

 

As has been said, the realisation that you have a problem and have lost control of it is the first step, and the second is realising that you are going to need help from people who know what they are doing as well as the support of your friends and family if it is available (I fully understand if matters have developed to a state where some or all of them have given up on you and distanced themselves).  Also, while it is absolutely important that you take full and personal responsibility for any bad behaviour that occurred while you were under the influence, and not blame the alcohol for what you did, it is equally important to accept that you developed your dependence on the stuff for a reason, and that that reason is very probably connected with something that happened to you or was done to you, not something you initiated yourself, so there is a limit in all fairness to how much you should beat yourself up over it. 

 

The very best of wishes for your recovery, Blackthorn; I hope you can access effective help and support.  I will repeat what others have said; you have nothing to be ashamed of.  Alcoholism is a reaction to life events that have hurt you, and is rooted in them, not in you,  It is not weakness; you would not think of Winston Churchill as weak character, or Ernest Hemingway, but they both suffered from this.  We are rooting for you, mate!

 

 

[kevinlms]

1 hour ago, 30851 said:

 

Note - I see a I type this that the video advert in bottom right is for "Shop Total Wine" (it is repeating over and over). Just not going to work.....

 

Rob

And elsewhere on RMweb, is a new discussion within an existing thread, about pub crawls!

[Enterprisingwestern]

 

Having no experience of the horrors of alcoholism I can only offer moral support, but it is said that first step of dealing with a problem is admitting you've got one, so fair play to you.

Hope it all goes well for you.

 

Mike.

[08221]

Blackthorn never be ashamed of yourself please. You are a good person and life sometimes conspires to put us in tricky situations.

 

Be strong, you have taken the first and bravest step by speaking out. As others have said, seek professional help and you will emerge the victor. That road may be rocky at times but focus on the target and you will get there.

 

Feel free to PM me if ever you want a chat or support. Stay strong, there are lots of good people on here alongside you.

[Oldddudders]

Many of us are more than social drinkers. Having been widowed a decade ago, and despite now being happily remarried, I still spend periods alone - 11 months without seeing Sherry due to Covid - and drinking habits that started decades ago when married to Deb have not gone away. I see just how slippery is this slope. I append a cautionary tale, which hopefully will help encourage the OP to seek professional help, before it is Too Late.

 

Nearly 40 years ago I met Peter, a colleague about my age. He was handsome, well-spoken, well-dressed, had been to Oxford, but had settled into what amounted to a senior clerical job in the contracts section, for which his intellect was rather wasted. He had a gorgeous and classy wife, who might well have also been at Oxbridge, and they had a pretty young daughter. This perfect trio, vegans, lived in a rented railway cottage. I know not which came first, the failure of the marriage or the drink issue, but the couple fell out, and lived in disharmony for some time, during which period Peter took to drink. At 09.15 he might be seen at one of the station outlets on Waterloo station, buying a couple of miniatures of spirits. On one occasion, entirely out of it, he was asleep in the office  loo - the door had to be removed to get him out. Stern warnings were issued, but I think were not heeded. Some time later, again incapable, he tripped over, fell and broke his neck. He was dead at not much more than 40. 

 

Hopefully, Blackthorn, you can see that the response in this thread is so overwhelmingly supportive that you feel able to talk further with the Forum, should that be helpful. In places like this, being a "train-nerd" - your term not mine! - is wholly acceptable, but we all hope you will be with us in the long term, and securing professional help is the most certain away of ensuring that by kicking this beguiling habit. In short, just do it. Please.! 

[Blackthorn]

Thank you all.

 

I have just had a call from a place that can take me in. I guess it was worth being woken up by my phone at 5:17.

 

Who knows what hell I'm in for.

 

[Legend]

I'm wishing you the very best Blackthorn . I've known people laid very low by this . You've done the right thing .  Just keep telling yourself there will be better days ahead and you will get through it . 

[laurenceb]

Best of luck Blackthorn

[Reorte]

Well done for admitting it, especially in public like this, that takes quite a bit of courage and if you can get that far you've got a chance with dealing with it.

 

Currently it's a path I can see myself going down if I'm not careful, I've definitely been drinking more the past few weeks, although not to the point of alcoholism, but I'm finding the current world situation very worrying (just trying to ignore the news almost entirely, other than local stuff, helps though, and is a better approach than booze).

[The Johnster]

6 hours ago, Blackthorn said:

Thank you all.

 

I have just had a call from a place that can take me in. I guess it was worth being woken up by my phone at 5:17.

 

Who knows what hell I'm in for.

 

You are doing the right thing IMHO.  Good luck with it; if you have hit the bottom there is only one direction left to you now, back upwards, not that it'll be easy.  All the best for it, this is where you start to rebuild yourself and your life.

[Andy Hayter]

Good luck @Blackthorn.  I have been close to alcoholism a couple of time in my life and have seen the difficulties in breaking the addiction - indeed if being honest perhaps drink more myself than is really good for me.  It is very difficult and hard to break that dependency but the fact that you have admitted that there is a problem is the first and probably the most important step in the process.

 

You will meet temptation down the way.  Some of it of your own making, some from friends and colleagues who don't understand that someone who is addicted cannot "just have one".

 

Be strong and know that there are people here who will be happy to "talk" with you when you feel the need.

 

Again:  Good luck.

[Enterprisingwestern]

8 hours ago, Blackthorn said:

Thank you all.

 

I have just had a call from a place that can take me in. I guess it was worth being woken up by my phone at 5:17.

 

Who knows what hell I'm in for.

 

 

At the risk of people not sharing my sense of humour, and keeping the joke relevant, I hope you come out as Dry Blackthorn!

 

Mike.