Coombe Barton Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-18050473 And now we're all going to come up with some more, I expect. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold big jim Posted May 14, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 14, 2012 Gold were filming on the service in front of mine this morning, the 06.19 off birmingham, i got into london at 08.35 off the 06.55 and the promo guys and gals were giving out free croisants to passengers, also natty oyster card holders which i grabbed At least if i do dodgy announcements i can say "baldrick made me do it" Just dont ask for chocolate sprinkles on your coffee from the trolley!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold roundhouse Posted May 14, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 14, 2012 I was reading that in the Metro this morning. I hope they are going to be good jokes otherwise might have to make mores of my headphones when travelling to Banbury!! Ian Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted May 14, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 14, 2012 Am I right in thinking that Tony Robinson has "trained" the staff to deliver the witticisms, rather than him being recorded to replay on the trains? I'm not sure if everyone repeating the same jokes is any better than pre-recording - as Blackadder says when told he's got his house selling patter all worked out: "This is different, it's spontaneous & called wit...." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold big jim Posted May 14, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 14, 2012 i should imagine its the train crew (ie guards) doing the announcements as we dont have auto announcements, it would only be on certain trains anyway as the units are DOO south of banbury Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horsetan Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 On the service to Norwich, I suppose they could play the song "We're On The Road To Nowhere" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
trisonic Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I'm sure all the daily commuters will be chortling over these jokes for years to come, NOT! Sometimes I'm absolutely bloody certain that Railways just do not get it.... Best, Pete. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Metr0Land Posted May 14, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 14, 2012 "Due to a bridge strike between South Ruislip and Northolt, services are currently suspended - but don't worry, we have a cunning plan!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horsetan Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Frankly it's the most pointless thing since How To Learn French was translated into... French. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Stationmaster Posted May 14, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 14, 2012 I'm sure all the daily commuters will be chortling over these jokes for years to come, NOT! Sometimes I'm absolutely bloody certain that Railways just do not get it.... Best, Pete. And having listened to a Tony Robinson announcement at Marylebone on the tv news today I'm just as certain that he doesn't get it either. Over the years I have heard/heard of some excellent and timely wit in public announcements made by railway staff and the usual key to success is timing and relevance. Mr Robinson was alas as boring and irrelevant as he so often can be with the examples I heard on tv. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
trisonic Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Please come out of retirement, Mike!!!! I could be your trusty sidekick... What passengers want: Safe, comfortable, clean ride. On Time performance. When stuff happens; timely, accurate announcements. Best, Pete. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold big jim Posted May 14, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 14, 2012 they were playing some of the announcments over the tannoy at marylebone this morning, one i heard was something like.... "fact of the day, butterflies taste with their legs, GOLD are giving away free croisants on the station concourse, please dont eat them all asi haven't had my breakfast yet" i was rolling on the floor laughing, i don't think looking at the faces of some of the commuters the announcements were indeed lost of them, they couldn't be heard anyway when i arrived with the 67 and stopped next to the other one which was waiting to depart for brum! didn't see baldrick either Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodenhead Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 This feels like a cunning plan by management to stifle individuality by Chiltern personnel - everyone will be expected to be on-song/message to the style dictated by the company plus the fact GOLD are involved smells of promotion and money for Chiltern. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold roundhouse Posted May 15, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 15, 2012 In this day and age of tight budgets, no business will want to spend money unless it brings some reward to them. I say good luck to Chiltern with this as it will bring some differeence to them as a TOC and hopefully make things a bit more interesting on the railways for passengers. I am sure that if the passengers get fed up with it that Chiltern will soon find out and alter accordingly. When you think what the level of services were on this route North of Princes Risborough some years ago (basically a train every 2 hours at one point), they have done an excellent job of massively increasing the service level and now quite a few proper loco hauled trains. Ian Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oscale Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Announcements, on stations as well as trains, should be concise and clear. They are for information not entertainment. Yet another example of some middle management whizz kid fresh out of university coming up with what they consider to be a "good idea" when in actual fact they haven't got a clue what happens in the real world. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I'm sure the commuters would need a wisecrack announcement to try and take their minds off the fact that they have just been robbed blind at the ticket desk. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold big jim Posted May 17, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 17, 2012 i still think my christmas eve announcement on the train going to birmingham snowman hill calling at ding ###### merrily on high wycombe was quite funny on the last train out of london to brum i always advise the passengers not to get off and go and have one last pint in the v+a bar and think they will get the next train as there isnt one! also on those trains i sometimes ask the passengers when arriving into banbury to "give the sleeping person next to them a prod incase they want to get off here too" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
trisonic Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 The last two are actually useful announcements, Jim! Of course on my local line we have two burly conductors per train, which helps...... Best, Pete. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold roundhouse Posted May 17, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 17, 2012 The last two are actually useful announcements, Jim! Of course on my local line we have two burly conductors per train, which helps...... Best, Pete. Ah yes Eastern USA commuter service ticketing arrangements with the ticket put in the clip above your seat! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted May 17, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 17, 2012 Nice examples of the "spontaneous wit" I mentioned earlier, Jim. Can't believe the censor software won't allow "ding-d o n g" though.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Stationmaster Posted May 17, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 17, 2012 Announcement is the art of telling someone what (s)he needs to know when (s)he needs to know it... Another flagrant proof of clueless management: for a number of years announcements by staff (either on board or the station PA system) are prohibited to say a train is delayed. Instead, you'd need to say that "the train will arrive in X minutes"... (note: this is in Holland, no doubt the UK will follow soon... ) BR went through the process of bowdlerising announcements many years ago. First one to get the chop was announcing a delay 'due to a track circuit failure' - it became 'an electrical signalling fault' which probably made a lot more sense so no moan about that. But after the Clapham collision - which was due to an electrical signalling fault - it then became 'a lineside equipment problem' or 'problems with lineside equipment' - far less worrying for nervous passengers. Similarly 'points failure' was also later found to be a dodgy one which might worry the passengers so it too became a lineside equipment problem. But going back into the late 1960s it was decided that the expression 'operational difficulties' was too vague to explain delays and things like 'locomotive failure' failure or 'signalling problems' and so on were to be used instead. What no one would ever answer was what you should call it when it really was down to operational difficulties?! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edwin_m Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Didn't Gerry Fiennes once announce "this delay was due to bad management"? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Stationmaster Posted May 17, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 17, 2012 Didn't Gerry Fiennes once announce "this delay was due to bad management"? Allegedly (according to him - so it's probably true). Mind you he's not the only one to have done it - it's just that he could get away with it and say so in print Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold big jim Posted May 18, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 18, 2012 BR went through the process of bowdlerising announcements many years ago. First one to get the chop was announcing a delay 'due to a track circuit failure' - it became 'an electrical signalling fault' which probably made a lot more sense so no moan about that. But after the Clapham collision - which was due to an electrical signalling fault - it then became 'a lineside equipment problem' or 'problems with lineside equipment' - far less worrying for nervous passengers. Similarly 'points failure' was also later found to be a dodgy one which might worry the passengers so it too became a lineside equipment problem. also if you have problems getting brake release its not advised to say "delayed due to a problem with the brakes on the train" we do have a driver who will say stuff like "cabin crew.....doors to manual" as he approaches marylebone Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horsetan Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 ....What passengers want: Safe, comfortable, clean ride. On Time performance. When stuff happens; timely, accurate announcements. Believe it or not, you can actually get all of these........ ......in Switzerland. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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