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The worst film you've ever watched


scots region

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I rather enjoyed 28 Days Later, and 28 Weeks Later...

 

The real test of how bad a film is is whether it makes you walk out of the cinema - changing channle or stopping the Video/DVD is a protest but not that same. On that note, I went to the cinema to see "The Sweetest Thing", which was some kind of chick-flick. I expected nothing and got lees but imagine my surprise when the wife pipes up "this is rubbish, let's go"

 

And with that, we upped and walked out. I think we lasted 20mins or so. It was simply horrible. Neither Cameron Diaz nor Christine Applegate could save it.

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One of the biggest implausibilities I have ever seen in any films must have been ID4's premise that Human computer operating systems must automatically be compatible with alien ones, and that warheads of the size usually found on air-to-air missiles will naturally be able to rip large chunks out of spacecraft with a diameter of 15 miles.

It's worse than that. The computer that Jeff Goldblum uses to cyber attack the aliens is an Apple Mac, which isn't compatible with 99% of human computers. Quite how he's able to get its software to run on ET's computer is best glossed over.

 

I also liked the scene where the US Navy jets attack the flying saucer with air to air missiles - their AMRAAMs don't work, so they try the even smaller Sidewinders instead. And then there's the jolly Tally Ho! chaps from the RAF with their F-16s (complete with UK military serial numbers on the tail).

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And then there's the jolly Tally Ho! chaps from the RAF with their F-16s (complete with UK military serial numbers on the tail).

 

Were there not Israeli F/A-18s as well? In some way, this film was one big advertising for McDonnell Douglas, I think.

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Frankly, in space you could probably throw a brick at the opposition to obtain the effect of a tactical nuke if they were sufficiently distant! ;-)

Wouldn't that make a good movie, in fact Armageddon would have been more realistic that way - Bruce Willis and his team of demolition men go up to a low earth orbit in a Space Shuttle, open the cargo bay and lob bricks in the general direction of the asteroid.

 

Or even Star Trek - Kirk: "Scotty give me all that you've got", Scotty: "Captain, I've used up the patio wall and half of the main structural supporting wall, the house cannae take much more, are you sure you wouldn't prefer to use a photon torpedo or a laser"

 

The real test of how bad a film is is whether it makes you walk out of the cinema

My wife walked out of Beowulf 2 minutes in - "It's a cartoon, I hate cartoons", she went to look for another film to see and all she found was another cartoon so she resigned herself to watching Beowulf with me and muttering loudly about how awful it was.

 

I would cite anything with walking corpses, or dead people rising out of their graves and walking around, upsetting one's daily routine...

What? Films about commuting?

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My vote goes to The Ladykillers....No not the 1955 masterpiece but the pointless 2004 remake ,the only Tom Hanks film SWMBO does not like

 

My wife suggested we go see that, I declined on the basis that an American remake of a British classic, can only possibly end in tears.

 

Kevin Martin

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For me it's TROY. The only film I have ever walked out on halfway. The final straw for me, as a military historian, was when they took off their leather armour as if they were waistcoats and hung them on a chair........................

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The final straw for me, as a military historian, was when they took off their leather armour as if they were waistcoats and hung them on a chair........................

 

Yes, but it was made by the same sort of people who portray car airbags as a puffy white balloons....

 

Adrian

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Yes, but it was made by the same sort of people who portray car airbags as a puffy white balloons....

 

May I also add railguns which shoot bullets at nearly the speed of light but can actually miss a person dodging their aim, and do not demolish everything in a ten-block radius at least upon the bullet's impact?

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Not my 'worst film ever watched', in fact far from it, but if you remember the talking pug in 'Men in Black', you may find this little scene amusing, which I snapped from our first floor office in Exeter Central the other day. The dog was giving his owner (a builder, it seems) some doggy lip through the open window of the van, and I found it rather amusing:

 

post-57-0-21707800-1338906843.jpg

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I have seen several awful films, but a few have stuck in my mind

 

1. No Retreat, No Surrender with Mr. Van Damme.

 

2. Kung Pow

 

3. Resistance (2011) an awful film with Nazis in Wales.

 

But there is a film I thought would be awful but was funny was Iron Sky.

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But there is a film I thought would be awful but was funny was Iron Sky.

 

I think there are two type of bad movie - those that take themselves seriously and those that don't. Iron Sky falls into the latter and is therefore a good bad movie.

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I am astonished that no-one has mentioned Thomas and the Magic Railroad ...

 

I gather it is awful and Rev. Wilbert Awdrey would be turning in his grave, but alas I haven't seen it so for me it didn't qualify with the OP.

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Die Another Day - the first time I have watched a James Bond film in a cinema and it was disappointing! I have since avoided watching post 2000 James Bond films since then...

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For me it's TROY. The only film I have ever walked out on halfway. The final straw for me, as a military historian, was when they took off their leather armour as if they were waistcoats and hung them on a chair........................

Is that the one where the siege of Troy lasts about 2 weeks? I wish I had walked out - how Hollywood could have turned the Iliad in to something that bad is beyond me.

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Kung Pow is actually a good movie!

For bad, try anything with J-Lo in the cast.... especially if the movie is about Anacondas.......

BTW, all the Anaconda movies should be used as warning for all aspiring movie makers......

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Die Another Day - the first time I have watched a James Bond film in a cinema and it was disappointing! I have since avoided watching post 2000 James Bond films since then...

 

Never mind that one. Quantum of Solace is far worse, by a country mile!

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