Things that make you :)

[Ramblin Rich]

The Guardian invited readers to submit poems in the style of Dr Suess to commemorate a next book being 'found'. This one really cheered me up.

 

Jon Chanter:

A llama farmer will charm her llamas,
As llamas are calmer for it.
The balm of her charm must calm llamas qualms -
As alarmed or harmed llamas can spit.

[jbqfc]

 

[Horsetan]

*kof*

 

 

[Arthur]

 

Really, you cannot imagine what sort of day I've had. I just want to get my head down an zzzzzzzzzzzz.

 

 

One of our cats, Jaffa, chills out in the conservatory.

[Horsetan]

That famous painting has resurfaced.....

[PatB]

Really, you cannot imagine what sort of day I've had. I just want to get my head down an zzzzzzzzzzzz.

image.jpg

One of our cats, Jaffa, chills out in the conservatory.

 

I'll see your relaxed cat and raise you a dog observing the "no animals on the human furniture" rule.

 

 

 

[Ozexpatriate]

I'll see your relaxed cat and raise you a dog observing the "no animals on the human furniture" rule.

That's one comfortable looking dog.

[BG John]

As I frequently have to point out, it's called FURniture, so by definition is not solely for human use. Dogs are intelligent sentient creatures with the ability to make decisions for themselves, and don't need stupid rules imposed by humans. Sometime in the next few hours, I'll discover if mine will be sleeping on the sofa tonight, or keeping my feet warm on the bed!

[Arthur]

 

I'll see your comatose dog,

 

 

Poppy, our whippet/lurcher rescue dog,

 

 

And raise you a slumpy cat

 

 

Jaffs's sister, Zanzibar.

 

Our pets are very stressed....

[Horsetan]

...Our pets are very stressed....

 

With all those photos being taken of them, I can't say I'm surprised.....

[shortliner]

I have a feeling this may have been posted already - but here goes 

 

Heaviest Element newly discovered

 

Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron,

25 assistant neutrons,88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

 

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

 

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has
a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years.

 

It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's

mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

 

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.

 

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

Edited February 28, 2015 by shortliner

[raymw]

Something that may amuse your children - if you can find half a dozen or so of them -

 

Sharing the Load


When I was about 8 years old, I found a couple of large books, on my
parents' book shelf. One was 'Newnes - Everything Within', and the other was the 'Golden Treasury'.


They were full of handy hints for running a household, and other aspects of pre/post ww2 life in the UK.


In one of them, was a section on party games for children, this is just one
such game, as far as I remember. It demonstrates the power of organisation and co-operation quite well, although it was presented only as a children's party trick.




How can you, using only five fingers, lift a 15 stone man gently into the air?


1) get the man to stand straight upright, feet together, arms straight down
to the elbow, but with forearms across chest, hands firmly clasped together. he needs to stand quite rigid, joints locked.


2) get five children, adults will do, but not so impressive.


3) each child points - i.e. extends index finger.


4) two children, one each side of the subject, kneeling down, place their
index finger under the instep of subject's feet, one child's finger under the left foot, the other child's finger under the right foot.


5) two children, one each side of the subject, place a finger under the
elbow of the subject -finger horizontal.


6) the fifth child, again horizontal finger, under chin, the jaw bone, pointing
left to right, not into the throat.


7) if they all lift together, they easily raise the person off the ground.
If they don't lift together, then it doesn't work.



These days, this is just the sort of activity that one of the gimmicky
management training outfits would be charging money for (after risk assessment and 'Health and Safety' considerations, of course), but back then, it was merely a children's party game.

 

[Ozexpatriate]

These days, this is just the sort of activity that one of the gimmicky management training outfits would be charging money for ...

Something like this?

 

 

I've seen this one done and it does work.

Edited March 2, 2015 by Ozexpatriate

[PGC]

Taking the title of the thread, and following on from the discussion on another thread about the BBC,  Carol Kirkwood presenting her warm fronts.

 

Phil

[Horsetan]

Anyone buying this garment might want to disinfect before wearing....

[lightengine]

So does this.

[lightengine]

and this is priceless

[yorkie_pudd]

and this is priceless

 

Got to be one of the funniest commercials I`ve seen for ages

[great central]

Car reg number seen earlier EB 11 GUM.

 I'm easily pleased

[grandadbob]

Don't think this has been posted before;

 

http://safeshare.tv/w/NOZOjdApvG

[raymw]

A short history of the changing world, via Ladybird books - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-30709937

[Ozexpatriate]

A short history of the changing world, via Ladybird books - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-30709937

An interesting article - thanks for sharing it.

 

Anyone notice what else got painted out of the toyshop window besides the Golly?

 

The Peter and Jane readers from the 1960s remind me of this classic from my formative years. Sparky the Space Chimp from 1967.

 

He was pretty much obsolete by the time I read the book since I was in the first grade in 1969. We watched Armstrong walk on the moon during class - it would have been 12:56pm on a Monday. That they brought a TV into a classroom was momentous in itself.

 

The late 1960s were a time when birthday cards for little boys ubiquitously had astronauts and multi-stage rockets on them, rather than ninja turtles. What do we miss that an equivalent engineering or scientific pursuit does not capture the public imagination today?

Edited March 7, 2015 by Ozexpatriate

[Ceptic]

http://viz.co.uk/top-tips-bq/

[shortliner]

[shortliner]

For those who love cats....

Ahhh!....  There!!...........  We'll make it all better!!!