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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
Message added by AY Mod,

Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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12 minutes ago, iands said:

I think (iii). 

 

Yes, but the same cat wanted to go out the back door. When the back door was opened, seeing that it was raining, it went to the front door and asked to be let out that way instead. 

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9 minutes ago, Compound2632 said:

 

Yes, but the same cat wanted to go out the back door. When the back door was opened, seeing that it was raining, it went to the front door and asked to be let out that way instead. 

Ours do that sometimes!

 

The other one is looking at the rain outside, then at us, with a clear look that says "well, come on human, what are you going to do about it?"

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29 minutes ago, Nick C said:

Ours do that sometimes!

 

The other one is looking at the rain outside, then at us, with a clear look that says "well, come on human, what are you going to do about it?"

I've not had that (only got one cat for starters), but I have had mine hurtle to the door as I've opened it to go out, only to skid to a halt when she sees it's chucking it down.

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47 minutes ago, Compound2632 said:

 

Yes, but the same cat wanted to go out the back door. When the back door was opened, seeing that it was raining, it went to the front door and asked to be let out that way instead. 

 

The cat was obviously looking for "The door into summer".

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5 hours ago, Allegheny1600 said:

 ...snip... One of the Glaswegians turned back and said "Is it no' obvious ye daft bastart? Hell's frozen over! Scotland's won the world cup!"

I am sure glad that I had not been drinking/eating anything when i read that!! :yahoo_mini:

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2 hours ago, Compound2632 said:

The difficulties, in my experience, are (a) working out what the cat wants and (b) that it's changed it's mind about what it wants by the time you've worked it out. Example: cat sits by door, apparently wanting door opened so it can go out; get up to open door, cat leaps up into the spot you've vacated. Now, is this (i) just the cat's fickle short attention span, or (ii) that sitting in your pre-warmed spot suddenly looks like a better option than going out, or (iii) it was a cunning plot to occupy your spot all along?

No. 3 for sure! :biggrin_mini:

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2 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said:

'You can do it' B&Q lorry gets stuck under bridge

 

 

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-56278928

The last time I passed that way there were height cameras before the bridge that set of warning lights. The driver must have been well out of it or the lights were not working for that to happen.

Bernard

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53 minutes ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said:

 

Ah, a fan of Heinlein or The Monkees?

 

I had never heard that Monkees track before. That is two minutes forty seven seconds that I shan't be

getting back.

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1 hour ago, Bernard Lamb said:

The last time I passed that way there were height cameras before the bridge that set of warning lights. The driver must have been well out of it or the lights were not working for that to happen.

Bernard

M40 was shut nearby, probably on an unexpected diversion.

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