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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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2 hours ago, kevinlms said:

So they really made them like that, with the lettering reversed and even rotated around? Somehow I think not!

Look at the one edge-on. It's the 3d ear!

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4 hours ago, Tim123 said:

Look at the one edge-on. It's the 3d ear!

I did notice that, I thought I'd change the joke to something different. I wondered who would point out what I'd missed!

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On 20/07/2023 at 07:19, NIK said:

Evidence is building of PTSD amongst railway staff and passengers - Portillo Traumatic Sartorial Disorder.

 

One driver said Red, Yellow and Green make me react according to my training - but not all in the same outfit.

 

Passengers are reminded the chances of seeing Michael Portillo on a train are slim - especially on Trans Pennine.

He looked a bit incognito here, but he didn't need to draw attention to himself, as he was, to some, the star attraction of the excursion.

DB Cargo 67005 Queen's Messenger and Michael Portillo at Brighton 30 4 2022.jpg

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3 hours ago, aardvark said:

My therapist says I have schizophrenia, but I’m in two minds.

 

My therapist told me I have schizophrenia.  I said: "Don't be ridiculous.  I haven't got schizophrenia, and neither have I!"

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Putting to one side jokes about mental health but prompted by Kevin's last line, there's a story about the Rev. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) walking down a street in Edinburgh's Old Town with a friend. Two women were arguing from upper story windows of tenements on either side of the street. Says Smith to his friend: "They'll never agree. They're arguing from different premises."

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3 hours ago, Compound2632 said:

there's a story about the Rev. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) walking down a street in Edinburgh's Old Town with a friend. Two women were arguing from upper story windows of tenements on either side of the street. Says Smith to his friend: "They'll never agree. They're arguing from different premises."

 

2 hours ago, The Johnster said:

That’s even funnier when you imagine it in a posh Edinburgh ‘Jean Brodie’ accent.  

 

Presumably, with the Rev. Sydney Smith dressed as Jean Brodie? One might even find it is quite the fashion, in certain upper circles of society, with those who talk proper (like what we do).

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6 minutes ago, KeithMacdonald said:

 

 

Presumably, with the Rev. Sydney Smith dressed as Jean Brodie? One might even find it is quite the fashion, in certain upper circles of society, with those who talk proper (like what we do).

 

Or at least, wearing a kilt?

 

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16 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said:

 

Now that must be old. Hasn't he been called Yusuf Islam for decades!

 

 

 

 

When he appeared at Glasto this year, both names were used.  It might be that the older attendees wouldn't have recognised Yusuf Islam?

 

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