royaloak Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 the increasing interest in althletics is affecting literacy. Discus Are you javelin a laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Are you javelin a laugh! You should be shot, putting that on here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pH Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 the increasing interest in althletics is affecting literacy. Relay? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted August 13, 2012 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted August 13, 2012 Go take a run and jump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted August 13, 2012 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 13, 2012 This looks like turning into a marathon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iL Dottore Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 keefer should take his coat and sprint to the door.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted August 13, 2012 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 13, 2012 Any more bad jokes like that and you will be for the High Jump . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted August 13, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 13, 2012 As we are on the Internet, this must be long distance punning. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonB Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Does excellence in the Triple Jump indicate Sexual Prowess? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St. Simon Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Hi, I can now annouce what I'll be buying all the members who have made atheletics jokes above for christmas; a Joke Book, you lot need it if your making jokes like that! Only joking guys, I can see that the world of witty one liners hasn't disappeared! Simon 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Hi, I can now annouce what I'll be buying all the members who have made atheletics jokes above for christmas; a Joke Book, you lot need it if your making jokes like that! Only joking guys, I can see that the world of witty one liners hasn't disappeared! Simon That'll give them a run for their money... steve 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonB Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Simon was joking! (#961) That's another hurdle overcome ! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted August 15, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 15, 2012 My friend admitted that he is addicted to brake fluid ......... ......... but it's ok, he can easily stop. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edge Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 My pal was involved in a tragic bungee cord accident, but he bounced back from it 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Bayford Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Despite the Games ending, the IOC have announced that Great Britain have been awarded a late gold medal.Soundman, Billy Smith said, "I'm really honoured but all I did was hit mute on Victoria Beckham's microphone. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike J Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 Usain Bolt, fresh from his Olympic exploits goes to a posh London restaurant but is stopped at the door and refused entry on the grounds that a track suit is not proper attire for a high class restaurant. "I'm sorry sir but I can't let you in wearing a track suit. There's a McDonalds ten minutes down the road." says the stuffy maitre d. "Oh come on man, I'm famous" tries Usain, "I'm sorry, try the McDonalds, it's only ten minutes down the road" "Can't you make an exception?" "No, ten minutes down the road!" "But I'm Usain Bolt" "Ok, three minutes down the road" retorts the maitre d 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike J Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 In the case of Robin van Persies' flat burning down, police suspect it was Arsene! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kandc_au Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. 'This is the 21st century, old man,' he said. 'We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPod.' I can tell you, that poor fly never knew what hit it... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kandc_au Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 (edited) Interesting Observation Have you ever noticed? 1. The sport of choice for the poor and under educated is SOCCER. 2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BASKETBALL. 3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is RUGBY. 4 The sport of choice for supervisors is CRICKET. 5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. And.... 6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.. MY AMAZING CONCLUSION: The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become. There must be a ton of people in the Government playing: marbles! Edited August 20, 2012 by kandc_au 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kandc_au Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 (edited) FROZEN CRABS and THE BLONDE A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans, with a box of frozen crabs, and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans , please raise your hand?" Not one hand went up.... So she took them home and ate them and they were simply delicious. Two lessons here: 1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are. 2. Blondes aren't as dumb as some people might think. Edited August 20, 2012 by kandc_au 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 steve 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kandc_au Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed... "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly parted. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know – I thought you were watching." MORAL OF THE STORY Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb ... But all men are men! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kandc_au Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kandc_au Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonB Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) Patient Grandfather: A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full, with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long ....... easy, boy." Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's all right, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the trolley, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William." Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he was, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa." "Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William ... the little b*****d's name is Kevin!" Edited August 24, 2012 by DonB 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now