CameronL

It's perfectly possible to combine cheese and music. S Club 7 and Steps both made careers of it.

Not a big fan of Kraftwerk. The only album of theirs that I'd buy is "Kraftwerk Unplugged".

It that "rap" with a silent "c".

Oh, I wish. But the second line wasn't "Silver Swimming Certificate ". I also got a CV for the post of Quality Manager in which the applicant had spelled his job title as "Quallity Manager". (This was in the days when you got CVs in the post with a covering letter).

Sometimes something jumps out of a CV that makes you immediately reject the candidate. I once had one across my desk (for an IT role) where the first line of the "Education and Qualifications" section read "Bronze Swimming Certificate".

I thought that song was about the man who ordered the building of the Stockport Pyramid... His kingdom stretched from the burning sands of Disley to the orange groves of Cheadle. His name? Pharaoh Krosta-Merses.

The Blockheads? (Ian Dury &) The Muffins? (Martha &) The Commotions? (Lloyd Cole &)

Looks like you could have an Audry II there.

I found this. I think it's a Turner...

There is...

I wonder how they got it out... Difficult lie like that, my club of choice would be a pitching wedge.

Swords of a Thousand Men - Tenpole Tudor

An elderly couple went to the doctor, complaining that their sex life wasn't what it used to be. After sending them for various tests, the doctor met them again to explain the results. "There's nothing really wrong with either of you," he explained. "It's just that your husband is a bit old for much of a sex life. But don't despair! We're involved in the trial of a new drug to aid male sexual performance. If you're willing to sign up to the trial, you can see how it works for you." The couple agreed and signed the forms. The doctor gave them a bottle with one large blue pill in it. "Take it with food," he said. "And please come back to let me know how it worked." Several days passed and the couple were back to see the doctor again. "How did it go?" he asked. "Fantastic!" the wife replied. "As soon as he took it, he was like a wild animal! He swept all the dinner things off the dining table, threw me onto it and made such passionate love to me that the table broke." "It isn't supposed to produce such a strong reaction," the doctor replied. "Sorry about the damage. I'm sure that the manufacturer will pay for replacements." "It's OK," the lady said with a smile. "We won't be going to that restaurant again."

The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades - Timbuk 3

Some things don't improve with repetition. If you look at the amount of effort dung beetles put in to be satisfied, fulfilled little bugs at the end of it all they still spend all their time pushing balls of cr*p about. (Is there a metaphor there?)

Milnthorpe, Cumbria. Near to the only set of traffic lights in the village. Bear in mind you have to have enough hair to leave a mullet once it's been cut, so there might be a problem if you're not like this to start with...

What's the manta with that? Do you think we need to ray-z the tone above excruciating fish puns? Don't skate around the subject.

And gags like that are whelk-ome too. That Rich, eel mussel in on any chances.

SWMBO: "It must be a hairdresser's." Me: "Or a fishmonger. "

On a short break with SWMBO in the Lake District, and visited the South Lakes Safari Zoo. They have a rhino there with a head at each end...

Matthew 18:20. And Jesus said: "For where two or three are gathered together in my railway room, I am there among them, AND I'M DRIVING."

One here from The Defence Journal. It had me believing it for a minute.

The problem is, that's quite believable, which is what makes it a good spoof. If it was really implausible no one would fall for it. Like a merger of the EM Gauge Society with the Scalefour Society, for instance.