petethemole

I have to admit to making an Ant farm today AND me and my 7yr, (who can't be named for legal b@ll0cks), have kidnapped and wilfully detained 8 Ants plus a number of eggs!

The haricots are not salted.

There are n sweets in a bag. Six of the sweets are orange. The rest of the sweets are yellow. Hannah takes a random sweet from the bag. She eats the sweet. Hannah then takes at random another sweet from the bag. She eats the sweet. The probability that Hannah eats two orange sweets is 1/3. Show that n

Just spilled butonone on my mac keyboard. All melted. Great start to the day!

enjoying hitting refresh to see what random adverts I can get. do I want to ship something to Kenya in 7 days? do I want to buy a drone? do I want a cheaper hire car? or should I buy that floral dress I've always wanted? So far no adverts for far eastern brides to replace mrs sg.

A friend of mine is writing a story set in a retirement home and she needs an amusing name for said home, any suggestions? "H.Ardly, A.Bell" has come up so far

I just used the word 'skidaddle' in my head while thinking. To mrs SG I'd like to apologise, I will shortly return that lingo to the 1950s and normal service will be resumed.

Rumour that the earthquake in Kent was Nigel jumping up and down in frustration!

Top cooking tip! Don't clean out your pestle & mortar after grinding pastel chalks, it gives your food a more exotic look!

oh my god the better half as found something called nashvile. it's bloody doing my head in

is on the way to Bummingham. The fella in the seat opposite is an alcoholic, having opened up half a litre of Fosters before 10.30am. They let anyone into First Cl-ars* on Virgin nowadays *sniffs*

cant sleep and i've got my rules exam in canton in the morning, not good being as i have a 3 hour train ride to get there too

I

I will not buy this record, it is scratched.

Reading Raising Steam. The Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Hygenic Railway could be a great idea for a model.

Comes the Inquisitor.

Passed ISIS holiday park at Brean on Sunday. I suppose terrorists need holidays too.

Back boiler pin-holed, rear tyre split.

Okay, hands up who's calling farce on what happened with the producer?

I love the middle lane.

Now has a baby boy!!!

'Man who had sex with a postbox found dead'. Eh? Infected french letter?

Happiness is an armed missile.

Hierarchical-collective command structure!

I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.