Modelling mojo and state of mind

[MrWolf]

5 hours ago, Talltim said:

Why did your dad lie to his family about his age?

 

One of my family lied about his age to join the army, survived the war and ended up maintaining the lie as it was easier than untangling matters afterwards.

[Lemmy282]

Not unusual. My dad lied about his age to join the army, although somewhere along the line that got changed as well. We only found out when sorting his estate after his death, that the army, his later employer and the social services all had him at different ages, none of which were his real age!

[John M]

15 hours ago, Talltim said:

Why did your dad lie to his family about his age?

Age was a taboo subject in Dads family his mother was very sensitive about age fell out with the local Royal Liver agent when he asked her her age and was known to "doctor" birth certs so her adult children appeared younger.

 

Its possible that my dad mislead his employer about his age in order to get the job during an era when many companies had maximum age limits for jobs or may not actually realised that he was older having lived a Tom Sawyer existence living in rural areas during his early years. He was a youthful man who would pass for someone 10 years younger up to his final years. As he got older when asked he would always be retiring next year!

[Blandford1969]

23 hours ago, MrWolf said:

 

One of my family lied about his age to join the army, survived the war and ended up maintaining the lie as it was easier than untangling matters afterwards.

We found out 20 0dd years after my grandad died that he had gone one further. I remember him with a broad, loud Glaswegian accent, and we thought he was from Port Glasgow, but he had burned his birth certificate after my grandmother died before I was born. 

 

In reasearching mum rang the phone number for his twin brothers wife, who was luckily still alive. On being asked she told us he was not born in Port Glasgow, but in Ballycastle and had got a false birth certificate to join the army. 

[Guest]

Sorry to read about redundancy experiences. 

 

I’ve just been through the job at risk process and was selected for redundancy in my pool of four earlier in the month, A few days later, someone else in my pool understandably decided they’d had enough and took voluntary redundancy, leaving me safe (for now at least). The daft thing was that redundancy need was due to them being one of two who were short of work and I was at same grade but very busy. The scoring of the four of us led to me being selected. Now I have to try and put it all behind me and move on. I don’t take it personally, but I have to say I have little respect for the HR team. It took 2 weeks to receive my letter (on Wednesday) confirming i was no longer at risk, having been told verbally. 

 

Got my layout set up this evening but really have not been in the mood to do much. I’m shattered. 

Edited August 25, 2023 by Guest
Clarity

[Northmoor]

3 hours ago, Gatesheadgeek said:

Sorry to read about redundancy experiences. 

 

I’ve just been through the job at risk process and was selected for redundancy in my pool of four earlier in the month, A few days later, someone else in my pool understandably decided they’d had enough and took voluntary redundancy, leaving me safe (for now at least). The daft thing was that redundancy need was due to them being one of two who were short of work and I was at same grade but very busy. The scoring of the four of us led to me being selected. Now I have to try and put it all behind me and move on. I don’t take it personally, but I have to say I have little respect for the HR team. It took 2 weeks to receive my letter (on Wednesday) confirming i was no longer at risk, having been told verbally. 

 

Got my layout set up this evening but really have not been in the mood to do much. I’m shattered. 

While a company cannot legally target an individual, it cannot wholly disguise when that is its intention.  I went through a similar process 12 years ago and while for me it went well (I got my preferred outcome and at a time it would have been struggle to time better), for some colleagues, it was the second round in less than a year.  A couple of weeks into the first round, one of the five resigned (1 from 5 was what was required), who was one of our team's strongest performers.  Of course when he left his work was taken on by those remaining and who were now almost fully deployed, but when the second round came (1 from 4 to go) it was very hard to avoid the conclusion that the process was only being repeated because the wrong person had gone.

Edited August 25, 2023 by Northmoor

[Guest]

8 hours ago, Northmoor said:

While a company cannot legally target an individual, it cannot wholly disguise when that is its intention.  I went through a similar process 12 years ago and while for me it went well (I got my preferred outcome and at a time it would have been struggle to time better), for some colleagues, it was the second round in less than a year.  A couple of weeks into the first round, one of the five resigned (1 from 5 was what was required), who was one of our team's strongest performers.  Of course when he left his work was taken on by those remaining and who were now almost fully deployed, but when the second round came (1 from 4 to go) it was very hard to avoid the conclusion that the process was only being repeated because the wrong person had gone.

 

The odd thing this time around was that the whole rationale for the process was poor utilisation and yet I was the busiest of them all and have work lined up for months.  Hard not to feel targeted in that situation. We expect junior grades will be looked at before long but the behaviour of our management has angered many. Ironically a recent business plan highlighted concerns about retention. Go figure,

[Blandford1969]

In a way I'm on the opposite side of the fence (at the moment) but feel just as wretched. I have a great team, they all deliver value but with Sales down I have had to do a costing excercise for everyone in the company on costs of redundancy. The one in my team that had seen the amount of work he had go down I am working hard at passing more things over to protect them as much as possibe. 

 

I really dislike the knowing (even though its part of my job) that a team of 5 will in all likliehood be made redundant. to me it really sucks, even though I can see from the sales and the orders which have dried up it does not make it easier. The only thing I am doing is preparing my boss that I want to reach out to as many agencies as possible to try to help them having been through the same last year. 

[Coldgunner]

Back at work this week, been off since Wednesday as I normally book time off for Peterborough beer festival. Went along on Wednesday and enjoyed it, but it doesn't seem to be quite the same. After COVID the festival has certainly downsized a little, but I think something has changed in me too. I enjoy a good beer, but I'm fed up with dealing with the aftermath. Its either the lethargy the day after or having to be up and down to the toilet frequently.

 

I think there's a stage of 'lightly tipsy' that's the fun bit, but being outright drunk ain't.

[Big James]

After haunting this page for a while I think I’ll give an update. 
 

recap about 2 years ago we took in partners bro and Sister in law. They’ve basically took advantage of us with late rent, destroying our stuff etc. The worst part was me and my dad refurbished the shed, turning it into a proper room for the railway. After they moved in we find out they are a couple of hoarders who dumped so much rubbish down there. I could reach the railway and in the process they have managed to destroy the electrics. 

 

Well they approached us a week ago telling us they are handing us our 28 days notice which after a week turned into them telling us they are moving out the following day so won’t be giving us this months rent. 
 

it has left me and my partner in the lurch and very short of money. But I just sense relief. I already feel like a weight has been lifted and the mojo is retuning. My partner had already told me to bring the railway up and put it in the spare room, my dad has offered to help me set it up in their old bedroom and I quote “ if you put it in there you know for definite they can’t come back” and my father in law has already said “if we put a bed in there it’s his dream room to stay when he visits.”

 

All in all I can feel the mojo retuning which feel lovely I just can’t wait to set it up now. 
 

Big James

[cctransuk]

46 minutes ago, Big James said:

After haunting this page for a while I think I’ll give an update. 
 

recap about 2 years ago we took in partners bro and Sister in law. They’ve basically took advantage of us with late rent, destroying our stuff etc. The worst part was me and my dad refurbished the shed, turning it into a proper room for the railway. After they moved in we find out they are a couple of hoarders who dumped so much rubbish down there. I could reach the railway and in the process they have managed to destroy the electrics. 

 

Well they approached us a week ago telling us they are handing us our 28 days notice which after a week turned into them telling us they are moving out the following day so won’t be giving us this months rent. 
 

it has left me and my partner in the lurch and very short of money. But I just sense relief. I already feel like a weight has been lifted and the mojo is retuning. My partner had already told me to bring the railway up and put it in the spare room, my dad has offered to help me set it up in their old bedroom and I quote “ if you put it in there you know for definite they can’t come back” and my father in law has already said “if we put a bed in there it’s his dream room to stay when he visits.”

 

All in all I can feel the mojo retuning which feel lovely I just can’t wait to set it up now. 
 

Big James

 

You have been far more patient than most of us would have been.

 

Family are difficult to refuse - but when they take the p*ss it's time to say "OUT"!

 

Here's to better times in the future!

 

CJI.

[Guest]

I can’t agree more with @cctransuk

 

To have put up with that sort of behaviour for so long I can imagine that you’re pleased to see the back of them. You and your partner can finally move on. As for the finances, yes I know it’s hard (particularly now) but if the shed is now clear and you’re moving the model railway out of it, is it possible that you could rent it out to a (reliable!) friend or neighbour for storage or even as a home office? Just a thought but could be completely impractical! 

 

It sounds like you have a very supportive father and father in law and that counts for a lot as well. Wishing you both a happier future!

[Guest]

On 26/08/2023 at 18:55, Blandford1969 said:

In a way I'm on the opposite side of the fence (at the moment) but feel just as wretched. I have a great team, they all deliver value but with Sales down I have had to do a costing excercise for everyone in the company on costs of redundancy. The one in my team that had seen the amount of work he had go down I am working hard at passing more things over to protect them as much as possibe. 

 

I really dislike the knowing (even though its part of my job) that a team of 5 will in all likliehood be made redundant. to me it really sucks, even though I can see from the sales and the orders which have dried up it does not make it easier. The only thing I am doing is preparing my boss that I want to reach out to as many agencies as possible to try to help them having been through the same last year. 

 

You may feel wretched but your team are lucky to have you in their corner. My own line manager was similarly struggling, although he was completely unaware this time until the four if us were invited to our meeting. He said it was like being asked to choose between one of his children. 3 years ago he had to tell 3 probationers that that was their last day with the company due to lack of work - he told his own manager never to make him do that again. I also think back to when this first happened to me about 13 years ago and I was worried about the colleague who put me at risk (I’d known him and worked with him for 10 years and knew that it would have been difficult for him.)

 

The point I’m trying to make is that your team will hopefully know if/when the time comes that you’re doing what you’re doing under duress. Some will know what’s coming anyway. Does your company have any independent wellbeing support ? If not, then maybe the other thing you can do is find out what charities there are who offer such help - both for you and for your team, if/when it comes.

 

For what its worth I certainly didn’t blame any of the colleagues who were directly involved. I have a few choice words to say about the General Manager and HR but not those senior colleagues who had to break the news. While I don’t work with them directly, I’ve been on calls with them since and have put it behind me as best that I can.  

[Northmoor]

1 hour ago, Gatesheadgeek said:

 

You may feel wretched but your team are lucky to have you in their corner. My own line manager was similarly struggling, although he was completely unaware this time until the four if us were invited to our meeting. He said it was like being asked to choose between one of his children. 3 years ago he had to tell 3 probationers that that was their last day with the company due to lack of work - he told his own manager never to make him do that again. I also think back to when this first happened to me about 13 years ago and I was worried about the colleague who put me at risk (I’d known him and worked with him for 10 years and knew that it would have been difficult for him.)

 

The point I’m trying to make is that your team will hopefully know if/when the time comes that you’re doing what you’re doing under duress. Some will know what’s coming anyway. Does your company have any independent wellbeing support ? If not, then maybe the other thing you can do is find out what charities there are who offer such help - both for you and for your team, if/when it comes.

 

For what its worth I certainly didn’t blame any of the colleagues who were directly involved. I have a few choice words to say about the General Manager and HR but not those senior colleagues who had to break the news. While I don’t work with them directly, I’ve been on calls with them since and have put it behind me as best that I can.  

I was also in a position when being put "at risk" that I felt worse for the two managers telling me the news than I did for myself.  One was a guy I'd known since he'd joined the business as a grad (5-10 years younger, he'd overtaken me and deservedly so) and he looked sadder than I felt.  It helped that I knew I had an interview lined up the following day (a job which after some mix-up, I got, although I only lasted three years before getting out to avoid a likely breakdown).  One close colleague I knew wouldn't take it well and he didn't; he had been talking about the risks to our business for months, but although he talked a lot about being affected directly it was a bit of attention-seeking and he was not really prepared when it actually happened.  I mentioned to other colleagues affected that we should keep an eye on him to ensure he didn't bring himself to harm - fortunately he didn't - as outside of work he had very little social network to fall back on other than his elderly father.

But your point is well made, the people delivering the bad news are all too often not those who have made the redundancy decision.  With very large organisations, that's perhaps not surprising, but it doesn't make it any easier for the messenger.

[john new]

On 03/09/2023 at 19:56, Gatesheadgeek said:

 

You may feel wretched but your team are lucky to have you in their corner. My own line manager was similarly struggling, although he was completely unaware this time until the four if us were invited to our meeting. He said it was like being asked to choose between one of his children. 3 years ago he had to tell 3 probationers that that was their last day with the company due to lack of work - he told his own manager never to make him do that again. I also think back to when this first happened to me about 13 years ago and I was worried about the colleague who put me at risk (I’d known him and worked with him for 10 years and knew that it would have been difficult for him.)

 

The point I’m trying to make is that your team will hopefully know if/when the time comes that you’re doing what you’re doing under duress. Some will know what’s coming anyway. Does your company have any independent wellbeing support ? If not, then maybe the other thing you can do is find out what charities there are who offer such help - both for you and for your team, if/when it comes.

 

For what its worth I certainly didn’t blame any of the colleagues who were directly involved. I have a few choice words to say about the General Manager and HR but not those senior colleagues who had to break the news. While I don’t work with them directly, I’ve been on calls with them since and have put it behind me as best that I can.  

Was in a similar position before I got early retirement, have every sympathy. 

[Blandford1969]

1 hour ago, john new said:

Was in a similar position before I got early retirement, have every sympathy. 

Were that I had the money I would retire tomorrow.  I feel like Judus, looking at people and thinking that when people resign good thats one less person we have to let go. Its going to really ramp up next week as the CEO has said we have to push the button. I know that will put more on me, but I'm determined to be as fair as we can. 

 

We do have an EAP and I'm going to contact agencies to see if they can help. The CEO also knows someone who did a great session in a previous organisation and is going to see if they will do the same again. The jobs market is horrible at the moment, ghosting, not many jobs so the thought of doing this weights heavily. 

[Guest]

I’m sure that your colleagues know you well enough to be grateful for your support and sensitivity. Credit to you for thinking about others at this time.

 

My manager shared our GM’s update on our position this week and we all agreed not to share it with our teams as it’s tone deaf to what’s happened and how people are feeling.  We’ll paraphrase when discussing with colleagues so as not to alarm them unduly but not sugar-coat too much.

 

Please look after yourself through this.

Edited September 8, 2023 by Guest
Spelling

[Coldgunner]

Guess who's got COVID after 3 years? That's right, me!

 

Edited September 11, 2023 by Coldgunner

[MrWolf]

36 minutes ago, Coldgunner said:

Guess who's got COVID after 3 years? That's right, me!

 

 

 

Sorry to hear that, hope you're up and at it soon. 

A friend's parents have just come back from holiday with it. I did tell them that it's terribly unfashionable now, but there's predictions for a comeback in the winter collection.

[Blandford1969]

6 hours ago, Coldgunner said:

Guess who's got COVID after 3 years? That's right, me!

 

 

Hope you feel better soon, we had 5 within 3 days report being ill with covid so it seems to be a bit more prevelant at the moment

[John M]

Presently going through one of the most challenging times of my life that helped me put my preoccupation with the events of five years ago into perspective and understand the bigger picture. The Chair and CEO of a former employer had agreed to a meeting to consider an apology for the harm I experienced as a result of stress during my final year working for the organisation and had to cancel the meeting at short notice as a result of a mental health crisis experienced by my 13 year old daughter (as a result of stress) which required my 100% attention.

 

In some ways I would have considered the meeting the pinnacle of my career as my work often involved criticising clients at senior management level about how they ran their businesses.

 

The understanding of the bigger picture was realising and acknowledging that there is a history of mental health problems on both sides of the family with potentially long term implications.

 

Thankfully my daughter is beginning to show signs of improvement and I may get around to some modelling during the next week or so.

[Guest]

After a stressful week completing and submitting two bids for new work that did NOT go well (partly my fault, partly others’) and a quarterly chat yesterday  with my manager that I need to process, there’s the prospect of a quiet weekend and my TT TXS Mallard arrived yesterday. I think I might set up the double loop on the dining table (railway on a clear ice lake) and play a while. The cat doesn’t much like the noise though! 

 

I still haven’t decided what to do for the long term. No room for a permanent railway. I do have a Scale Model Scenery board I could develop into a longer end to end, but to have a loop I’ll need larger board that can be stored. 

[Richard_A]

On 11/09/2023 at 14:56, Coldgunner said:

Guess who's got COVID after 3 years? That's right, me!

 

 

I've had it aswell for the first time, truly horrible. 

[TheQ]

One of my nieces got COVID for the 4th time recently, each time she's got a disability of increasing seriousness. This time she's going deaf, whether it will be permanent they don't know.

 

I retired at Christmas a year early, my job was taken by two people, so you can see the stress I was under. I'm very happy retired, have one layout at the later end of its construction and hopefully that will be available for showing.

Shortly I'm starting another, I've drawn up the plans, I'm hoping to get the wood for construction in the next couple of days.

 

[rob D2]

I'm sorry to hear to hear of the struggles people have in their workplace .

 

Ive always been of the opinion that what you spend 5/7 of your life doing you must enjoy .

 

If not walk away , alter your reality , life's too short .

 

I'd rather live in a tent in the woods than my  hse than compromise my personal sovereignty .