Modelling mojo and state of mind

[cctransuk]

22 minutes ago, westernviscount said:

I finally committed and removed youtube from my device. I experimented with settings including the removal of the viewing history which was essentially a clean slate every time. I subscribed to one channel (railway related) but found there was still drift towards right wing laced BS such a jordan peterson etc. The "you are aloser not to be rich and its all your fault" types. 

So, purged it completely and feel much better. No social media at all for a number of years and now youtube is gone I guess all thats left is...

 

I have found - via painful personal experience - that the only way to deal with life  without going mad, is to decide that you don't give a sh*t what other people think of you!

 

Be content with your lot; be assured that prosperity does not bring happiness; form your own opinions; and say it as you see it without fear or favour.

 

Above all else, be true to yourself, and don't let ANYONE undermine your self-esteem.

 

CJI.

[NBL]

The majority of social media is a platform for narcissist's to tell you how great they are whilst anything you do or have is crap.  What people need to realise is that these idiots who tell us how amazing their life is are empty shells who need constant attention, and frankly need a good slap.

 

Even here in RMWeb there are folk who think they are better than anyone else, I just ignore their posts.

 

If what you are seeing online is affecting you, then stop viewing it, clear your search history and YouTube watch history and you won't be recommended any more crap.  Simple as that.

 

If you are drawn to viewing these idiots and feeling bad about yourself afterwards then I'm afraid that says more about you than them.  Sorry if that offends anyone, but it's the truth, some people are drawn to doom and gloom so that they can feel justification in constantly being miserable.  I've been around people like that before and they suck the lifeforce right out of you.

 

 

[NBL]

9 minutes ago, cctransuk said:

 

I have found - via painful personal experience - that the only way to deal with life  without going mad, is to decide that you don't give a sh*t what other people think of you!

 

Be content with your lot; be assured that prosperity does not bring happiness; form your own opinions; and say it as you see it without fear or favour.

 

Above all else, be true to yourself, and don't let ANYONE undermine your self-esteem.

 

CJI.

100 percent 

[westernviscount]

1 hour ago, cctransuk said:

be assured that prosperity does not bring happiness

At the risk of inviting a litany of "believe me, I am rich but..." comments, I am afraid I would like first hand experience of being rich and miserable before I subscribe to this philosophy ;-) 

 

However, I am finding I am caring less and less about what people think and am growing a teflonesque coating to repel BS. 

1 hour ago, NBL said:

If you are drawn to viewing these idiots and feeling bad about yourself afterwards then I'm afraid that says more about you than them. 

This needs to be learned through experience sadly and I feel that only pre internet generations have full immunity. 

Edited December 15, 2023 by westernviscount

[cctransuk]

6 minutes ago, westernviscount said:

At the risk of inviting a litany of "believe me, I am rich but..." comments, I am afraid I would like first hand experience of being rich and miserable before I subscribe to this philosophy ;-)

 

I have aspired to, and am grateful to have achieved, a financial situation whereby I do not have to worry about the next fuel bill arriving. I did this by budgeting, and paying monthly by direct debit.

 

I ask no more - whatever the world thinks of me is water off my back.

 

End of!

 

CJI.

[NBL]

40 minutes ago, westernviscount said:

At the risk of inviting a litany of "believe me, I am rich but..." comments, I am afraid I would like first hand experience of being rich and miserable before I subscribe to this philosophy ;-) 

 

However, I am finding I am caring less and less about what people think and am growing a teflonesque coating to repel BS. 

This needs to be learned through experience sadly and I feel that only pre internet generations have full immunity. 

 

Pre-internet generations should know better, but all too many are sucked right into the fake lives of the narcissistic internet 'personalities'.

 

I nearly succumbed myself on Facebook, reading about all these people with supposed fantastic lives, but sense saw through and I got rid of Facebook over 10 years ago now.

 

I am signed up to 4 forums - 2 rail, 1 plastic kit and 1 muscle car, abliet I don't participate in the latter!  

 

I have no other social media presence, and no desire or need to.  I did until recently have Linkedin purely for employment purposes, but that is just a professional Facebook with arsepieces telling you that their job is the best in the world.  If you feel you have to boast that online at 11pm on a Saturday night, then I'm glad I'm happy in my lesser role that I have no need to boast about, at any time of the day or night.

[woodenhead]

@NBL The problem for pre internet types is that they have no preconceived ideas about the types of people who inhabit social media so are more easily taken in until they learn more about these inhabitants 

[NBL]

2 minutes ago, woodenhead said:

@NBL The problem for pre internet types is that they have no preconceived ideas about the types of people who inhabit social media so are more easily taken in until they learn more about these inhabitants 

I would say that depends on who you've encountered in your life before the internet. 

 

I met many who I saw right through, but at the same time I agree it can be easy to be sucked in as it's a different type of show off.

[TheQ]

Conventional forums, I'm on 2 for model railways , 2 for sailing and 2 for the Norfolk broads...

 

I only joined Facebook because the family use it. But of the groups on there 

 I've somehow ended up with,

A railway group ( MSWJR)

Several Norfolk broads groups,

6 sailing groups, four of which are my 2 sailing clubs or their events

A couple of ex RAF groups

Plus the RAF Radar museum.

All the above are general discussion groups , often about events or subject research and help.

 

Everything else is ignored..

 

None of which affects my modelling mojo, as that is a totally different world.

[MJI]

I am on facebook as well, as my wife wanted an account to get game materials from.

 

I use it a bit, for a few railway picture groups, chatting with friends from young, and a couple of medical ones.

 

I block stuff like mad, report any at all dodgy ad, if i see them, and do not touch that big list as it is full of what a lot of people call the site minus book.

 

And fb is full of annoying gits.

[MJI]

Money as long as enough is left to buy trains, all is good.

[Willie Whizz]

Money will not in itself make you happy, true - but a sufficient lack of it will make you miserable for sure!

 

As for not giving a stuff what other people think about you, it’s an interesting concept, but not without risk. Taken to extreme you can become a crusty old curmudgeon and end-up alienating some perfectly decent people who mean you no harm. 
 

To me the answer is “moderation in all things - including moderation itself”. 

[MrWolf]

Money can't buy you happiness, but it CAN take you to a lot more places in search of it.

[Dava]

I don’t know how many RmWeb members work in the University sector, maybe they’re too busy marking? I know several ex-Uni people on here. Anyway the good times have fast receded into the distance as financial pressures hit. Coventry Uni declared an £80mil deficit & cuts of £100m with redundancies. Sheffield Hallam is also seeking voluntary severances with 10 x monthly salary exit packages.

 

There will be more to come with the effect of no increase in UK tuition fees since 2012, now worth just £6000 in real terms (no I don’t want to see them increased either, the kids are reluctant to come as it is). HM Govt have nixed the international student business by making UK a hostile & high cost area to study in. So it’s all rather grim with increasing workloads & sub-inflation pay rises. Sooner or later a Uni will follow the example of some cities by going bankrupt. 
 

The Uni I work in is apparently solvent with big reserves but only breaks even by carrying lots of vacant posts which save £s but increase the workloads of those who remain. I took a more senior post this autumn partly to help humanise the management for my colleagues (the extra £ is trivial after tax and not noticed it in my pay yet!).

But I don’t have much time or energy for the modelling I’d like to do. I just see a lot of the same story across most of the  public/3rd sector/private organisations in the UK service sector. 
 

Anyway, let’s get a train running this Christmas!

 

[Northmoor]

1 hour ago, Willie Whizz said:

Money will not in itself make you happy, true - but a sufficient lack of it will make you miserable for sure!

 

As for not giving a stuff what other people think about you, it’s an interesting concept, but not without risk. Taken to extreme you can become a crusty old curmudgeon and end-up alienating some perfectly decent people who mean you no harm. 
 

To me the answer is “moderation in all things - including moderation itself”. 

Indeed, as I believe that is a quote from Oscar Wilde himself?

 

As you say, "...some perfectly decent people who mean you no harm", might include family and friends.  Anyone who genuinely does not care what anyone, including family and friends thinks of what they do or say, is likely to find that one day they have the support of neither, just when they need it the most.

 

To relate this to railway modelling, if I repaint an RTR model in some fictional livery because it appeals to me, post a photo on RMWeb and some complete strangers criticise me for travesty, I probably won't care too much*.  But if I did the same and a family member was mortified because I'd forgotten it was a family heirloom, I would be upset.

 

*Mental health, our struggles with it and the value of modelling in improving it, is the basis of this thread and much other discussion on RMWeb.  We all owe it to each other not to give anything other than constructive criticism of others' work; negative feedback to someone who is already struggling may push them over an edge we didn't know they were close to.

[cctransuk]

2 hours ago, Willie Whizz said:

As for not giving a stuff what other people think about you, it’s an interesting concept, but not without risk. Taken to extreme you can become a crusty old curmudgeon and end-up alienating some perfectly decent people who mean you no harm.

 

My family take me for what I am - and that is considerate of what their feelings are.

 

As to the rest of the world, I have found no downside to being true to my own opinions. Everyone knows where they stand with me - if they don't like what they see, we are best avoiding each other!

 

CJI (crusty old curmudgeon, and proud of it).

[Schooner]

“Be pitiful, for every man is fighting a hard battle.”

(Rev. John Watson, aka Ian Maclaren, The British Weekly, December 1897...nope, not Plato, or Philo, or Socrates, or Shakespeare... :)

 

Usual shortened on board to 'If in doubt, don't be a d*ck', which gets the message across to the young'uns!

 

[MrWolf]

Ours was never put your fingers where you couldn't put your (more delicate part of the anatomy) with confidence.

 

And obviously it's not just literal.

[CKPR]

On 16/12/2023 at 18:23, Dava said:

I don’t know how many RmWeb members work in the University sector, maybe they’re too busy marking? I know several ex-Uni people on here. Anyway the good times have fast receded into the distance as financial pressures hit. Coventry Uni declared an £80mil deficit & cuts of £100m with redundancies. Sheffield Hallam is also seeking voluntary severances with 10 x monthly salary exit packages.

 

There will be more to come with the effect of no increase in UK tuition fees since 2012, now worth just £6000 in real terms (no I don’t want to see them increased either, the kids are reluctant to come as it is). HM Govt have nixed the international student business by making UK a hostile & high cost area to study in. So it’s all rather grim with increasing workloads & sub-inflation pay rises. Sooner or later a Uni will follow the example of some cities by going bankrupt. 
 

The Uni I work in is apparently solvent with big reserves but only breaks even by carrying lots of vacant posts which save £s but increase the workloads of those who remain. I took a more senior post this autumn partly to help humanise the management for my colleagues (the extra £ is trivial after tax and not noticed it in my pay yet!).

But I don’t have much time or energy for the modelling I’d like to do. I just see a lot of the same story across most of the  public/3rd sector/private organisations in the UK service sector. 
 

Anyway, let’s get a train running this Christmas!

 

 

I'm a former Reader in clinical psychology who has left the university sector and gone back to the NHS to work out my time until retirement. I used to think that being on the staff at a university was the pinnacle of achievement (I know, my aspirations have never been very wordly) but I'm glad that I left to do something useful and fulfilling, if a bit tiring at my age.

[fezza]

On 16/12/2023 at 18:23, Dava said:

I don’t know how many RmWeb members work in the University sector, maybe they’re too busy marking? I know several ex-Uni people on here. Anyway the good times have fast receded into the distance as financial pressures hit. Coventry Uni declared an £80mil deficit & cuts of £100m with redundancies. Sheffield Hallam is also seeking voluntary severances with 10 x monthly salary exit packages.

 

There will be more to come with the effect of no increase in UK tuition fees since 2012, now worth just £6000 in real terms (no I don’t want to see them increased either, the kids are reluctant to come as it is). HM Govt have nixed the international student business by making UK a hostile & high cost area to study in. So it’s all rather grim with increasing workloads & sub-inflation pay rises. Sooner or later a Uni will follow the example of some cities by going bankrupt. 
 

The Uni I work in is apparently solvent with big reserves but only breaks even by carrying lots of vacant posts which save £s but increase the workloads of those who remain. I took a more senior post this autumn partly to help humanise the management for my colleagues (the extra £ is trivial after tax and not noticed it in my pay yet!).

But I don’t have much time or energy for the modelling I’d like to do. I just see a lot of the same story across most of the  public/3rd sector/private organisations in the UK service sector. 
 

Anyway, let’s get a train running this Christmas!

 

 

Another university sector employee here. I've already been made redundant once due to financial cuts and almost every year for the last decade we've been threatened with more redundancies. Meanwhile university managers pay themselves record salaries while wasting tens of millions on building projects than bring the uni closer to financial oblivion. It can be very depressing.

 

Railways are a massive help for me. I often tell my missus if I hadn't spent so much money on trains I'd probably have ended up under one. It is a joke but there is some truth in it.

 

More fundamentally, I find my faith is a big help. Faith is a personal thing, but it is worth exploring if you are inclined, especially at this time of year. Jesus loves us all and the support of local church communities can be a great help to people fearing they have nothing left or have no direction in life. 

 

Above all, when things are going wrong, reach out to others for help. The world is not such a bleak place as it can sometimes feel.

Edited December 18, 2023 by fezza
Mistake

[john new]

On 16/12/2023 at 18:23, Dava said:

I don’t know how many RmWeb members work in the University sector, maybe they’re too busy marking? I know several ex-Uni people on here. Anyway the good times have fast receded into the distance as financial pressures hit. Coventry Uni declared an £80mil deficit & cuts of £100m with redundancies. Sheffield Hallam is also seeking voluntary severances with 10 x monthly salary exit packages.

 

There will be more to come with the effect of no increase in UK tuition fees since 2012, now worth just £6000 in real terms (no I don’t want to see them increased either, the kids are reluctant to come as it is). HM Govt have nixed the international student business by making UK a hostile & high cost area to study in. So it’s all rather grim with increasing workloads & sub-inflation pay rises. Sooner or later a Uni will follow the example of some cities by going bankrupt. 
 

The Uni I work in is apparently solvent with big reserves but only breaks even by carrying lots of vacant posts which save £s but increase the workloads of those who remain. I took a more senior post this autumn partly to help humanise the management for my colleagues (the extra £ is trivial after tax and not noticed it in my pay yet!).

But I don’t have much time or energy for the modelling I’d like to do. I just see a lot of the same story across most of the  public/3rd sector/private organisations in the UK service sector. 
 

Anyway, let’s get a train running this Christmas!

 

It has been like that across the board in government funded jobs for decades. I’ve been out of it since 2008, it was toxically bad then and has got worse. Hoping things do get better for you if you can hang in long enough to get release from the stress with taking a pension.

[John M]

On 17/12/2023 at 07:23, Dava said:

I don’t know how many RmWeb members work in the University sector, maybe they’re too busy marking? I know several ex-Uni people on here. Anyway the good times have fast receded into the distance as financial pressures hit. Coventry Uni declared an £80mil deficit & cuts of £100m with redundancies. Sheffield Hallam is also seeking voluntary severances with 10 x monthly salary exit packages.

 

There will be more to come with the effect of no increase in UK tuition fees since 2012, now worth just £6000 in real terms (no I don’t want to see them increased either, the kids are reluctant to come as it is). HM Govt have nixed the international student business by making UK a hostile & high cost area to study in. So it’s all rather grim with increasing workloads & sub-inflation pay rises. Sooner or later a Uni will follow the example of some cities by going bankrupt. 
 

The Uni I work in is apparently solvent with big reserves but only breaks even by carrying lots of vacant posts which save £s but increase the workloads of those who remain. I took a more senior post this autumn partly to help humanise the management for my colleagues (the extra £ is trivial after tax and not noticed it in my pay yet!).

But I don’t have much time or energy for the modelling I’d like to do. I just see a lot of the same story across most of the  public/3rd sector/private organisations in the UK service sector. 
 

Anyway, let’s get a train running this Christmas!

 

 

Political pressure and disfunction in the University sector seems almost universal and going on for a long time about 20 years ago the wife worked in a General Studies department in an Australian University which was dis-established and staff made redundant, my main surprise was that the University had not demolished the building to erase all trace of the Department.

Several years later my wife experienced  serious resistance from her academic supervisor while submitting her final Phd dissertation although she had previously been supportive. The wife was advised to submit the dissertation by the head of the department and awarded a Phd in education. 

It later turned out that my wife's supervisor took stress leave as the University took steps to terminate her employment around the time my wife was submitting her dissertation.

 

The Graduation ceremony  was like something from Roman times or a medieval court, as my wife's supervisor jostled for position on the stage with the other academics, elbowing others out of the way to take her place on the stage.  I am sure blood would have been spilled that night if she had a knife.

[Ben B]

My father in law likes to recount a saying of his late mother; "Money can't buy happiness, but you can be miserable in comfort" ;)

[Coldgunner]

I've heard something similar:

"money can't buy you happiness, but it certainly takes the sting out of being poor"

Think it was from Only Fools and Horses...

[MrWolf]

Money can't buy you happiness. Poverty can't buy you anything.

 

Or,

 

Money can't buy you happiness, but I'd rather cry sitting in my Ferrari...