Things that make you :)

[Mike at C&M]

2 minutes ago, Rugd1022 said:

There was a young lady from Ealing,

Who had a peculiar feeling...

 

I'd best leave it there!

Is this the same lady who...

 

got on a bus bound for Darjeeling

It said on the door

Don't spit on the floor

So she stood up and spat on the ceiling

[33C]

1 hour ago, steve1 said:

 

Along the same lines, the subtitles for the Bachman announcements frequently translates the name as “Batman”.

 

steve

If you want a really good evening. Put the TV on a music channel playing modern music, rap, grime etc and press subtitles...

[PhilJ W]

3 hours ago, Mike at C&M said:

if you believe that AI is the future, then you should now be afraid..... very afraid!

 

AI-generated subtitles can be a comedy show in their own right, as recent examples seen on Youtube and the BBC have proved.

 

1) A video about the eastern end of Hadrian's Wall placed it in the county of "tiny and weird"

2) Meghan and Harry are the "Juke and Dutch of Sex"

3) A documentary about microbe life in the oceans talked about "Fighter Plankton" (Should be phytoplankton)

 

I may have posted it here a few days ago. The was a football match and the TV cameras were controlled by AI and they were instructed to follow the ball. However the referee was bald and they mistook his head for the ball.

[Sidecar Racer]

[kevinlms]

34 minutes ago, Sidecar Racer said:

Trouble is they STILL won't cough up!

[Steamport Southport]

I am so happy that a song which six year olds sang in the playground in 1976 offended someone enough nearly fifty years later for it to be deleted. That's with the words that are mildly offensive blanked out!

 

My little wannabe Punk self will be so proud!

[KeithMacdonald]

On 07/05/2024 at 09:00, jcredfer said:

Tried Gator in Florida a few years back.  It was simply both tough and unpleasant, heavily reminiscent of mud.

 

I can see how that would happen.

Like being handed an alligator skin and being asked "what can you make out of that?"

What they meant was something like a pair of boots, or a handbag.

Not a meal, however long you boiled it for.

[CameronL]

2 hours ago, 33C said:

If you want a really good evening. Put the TV on a music channel playing modern music, rap, grime etc and press subtitles...

"Bill and Ben The Flowerpot Men" with subtitles is a really surreal experience.

[newbryford]

3 minutes ago, CameronL said:

"Bill and Ben The Flowerpot Men" with subtitles is a really surreal experience.

 

Not quite as surreal, but it made me :) at the time.

 

Courtesy of a work trip to China in 1990 - we were relatively in the middle of nowhere  and a 5 year old episode of The Bill was on the hotel TV with Chinese overdubbing.

 

 

[The Johnster]

Back in the 70s, and seen on one of those menu boards with removable letters you saw in chippies in those days which were sometimes fun when letters were missing or had fallen off.  The place offered, amongst other delights, 'urkeyburgers', and a can of 'cold grap'.  This was up your Salubrious Passage in Swansea.  I want an urkeyburger and a cold grap, please...

Edited Thursday at 13:00 by The Johnster

[kevinlms]

I told my wife that I wanted to be cremated.

 

 

I'm told that my appointments for next week!

[CameronL]

[The Johnster]

4 hours ago, CameronL said:

"Bill and Ben The Flowerpot Men" with subtitles is a really surreal experience.

Watching NEWS24 in a ‘spoons pub can be a prettygood spectator sport as the AI tying the rolling subtitles fails to predict what is about to be said, leading to some doozies until a bloodbag corrects it about 5 seconds later.  ‘Pearl, he meant’ (parliament) is par for the course.

 

And there’s no audio in ‘spoons, so you have to tead the subtitles.

[J. S. Bach]

5 hours ago, The Johnster said:

Back in the 70s, and seen on one of those menu boards with removable letters you saw in chippies in those days which were sometimes fun when letters were missing or had fallen off.  The place offered, amongst other delights, 'urkeyburgers', and a can of 'cold grap'.  This was up your Salubrious Passage in Swansea.  I want an urkeyburger and a cold grap, please...

I suppose that really depends on where you want the grap!

[Ozexpatriate]

16 hours ago, newbryford said:

Courtesy of a work trip to China in 1990 - we were relatively in the middle of nowhere  and a 5 year old episode of The Bill was on the hotel TV with Chinese overdubbing.

Watched a version of the film Gallipoli (young Mel Gibson before he was famous enough to be odious) dubbed in Spanish. "G'day mate" became "Buenos Dias Amigo". This is funny.

[The Johnster]

11 hours ago, J. S. Bach said:

I suppose that really depends on where you want the grap!

Qute invigorating in warm weather, especially up the Salubrious Passage…

[Hibelroad]

On 08/05/2024 at 20:35, The Johnster said:

Jack and Jill went up the hill

to fetch a pail of water

Jill came down with half a crown,

but, not for fetching water... 

 

 

Half a crown, two shillings and six pence, and the largest sized and denomination silver coin of the old system in my memory, though the crown, 5 shillings, 25p, was larger in both senses but was withdrawn before my time.

What a youth! The crown was still legal tender at decimalisation in 1971, but only produced as a commemorative piece by that time. It continued to be produced commemorativly until 1981 as a 25p piece, then reappeared in 1990 mysteriously having become a £5 piece. Just for fun I did try to spend silver jubilee crowns in 1977 ( the banks sold them for 25p) but only managed to off load one in a pub, everyone else refused to take them. 

[luckymucklebackit]

[big jim]

 

[The Johnster]

That would be brilliant as part of his pub set.  
 

My old man, Merchant Navy 4/o in 1938 and newly passed ouy from cadet, on a Liverpool-Baltimore passage, suffered under a tyrannical and spectacularly miserable 1/o.  This universally disliked character was violently sick into the North Atlantic (it was possible that somebody had put something in his food) one evening, and while talking to hughie/ruth over the rail vommed his false teeth over the side.  This was to everyone’s satisfaction and benefit, as without the dentures he looked like Popeye.  The comic effect of this undermined his authority and no more trouble was had from that quarter.  Dad said he laughed so much he nearly lost his own teeth, and they were real ones. 
 

I felt a little sorry for the bloke though, after an incident about 30 yeas ago on  a Rosslare-Pembroke Dock crossing on Isle of Innisfree.  It was like this, travelling with my chum Jim and his future wife Sue, ‘just friends’ (at least at the start of the crossing), couple of beers in the bar, and Sue suggested adjourning to the aft balcony deck for a spliff, which at the time I thought was a rather spendid idea. 
 

There we were, the three of us (my own girlf, Little Karen the Mighty Atom, who I’m sure BR2975 will remember, stayed in the bar), and Jim’s arm creeps around Sue’s waist.  Her response is to cwtch in, and I was clearly becoming a spare wheel, so I quietly took myself off around the corner to starboard boat deck.  This proved an ill-advised move, as we were banging along at 18 knots into a vicious southeasterly; it was freezing and I hung on to the rail as if I was rounding the Horn aboard a windjammer.  Facing away from the howling gale, my specs took off, to never be seen again, last seen heading for Brazil on a great circle…

 

So I could sympathise with the guy’s sense of hopelessness and despair.  For a second my spliff-fuddled brain suggested yelling up to the bridge to see if we could stop and pick them up, but…  I would like to record the sympathy and concern this disaster elicited from my companions and everyone else in the bar; I would also like world peace, cures for all diseases, and a million pounds.  Treorchy Male Voice, no less, were returning from a gig in Ireland, and were sympathetic enough to my plight to treat me to a five-part harmony of ‘my eyes are dim I cannot see/my specs are in the Irish Sea’, to which all and sundry joined in, none with more enthusiasm than Little Karen the Mighty Atom. 
 

I was becoming philosophical by this time; I didn’t want them back.  This was the Irish sea shortly after the Sea Empress spill (in fact we’d passed her still discharging at the berth on the way over), and I had no particular desire to retrieve oil-covered radioactive glasses; if some short-sighted halibut benefitted, I was happy with that!  And I had the last laugh; Jim had to stop his beer because I could no longer do my Pembroke Dock-Cardiff driving turn, and since the way him & Sue were sucking face suggested he was definitely on a promise, good enough for the b*gger, too!

[KeithMacdonald]

[luckymucklebackit]