Things that make you :)

[PhilJ W]

3 hours ago, kevinlms said:

My view is that modern movies start off well and end up the same old cliches. Take recent scifi as an example,  the first say half an hour introducing the aliens or baddies, then they get killed of by the usual methods. Often by machine guns, when they have inbuilt bullet proof shielding!

What surprises me is that in some science fiction films and novels has people using conventional guns in space. A prime example was Russian troops firing AK47's on the moon. a) There is no air on the moon so where is the oxygen required to fire the bullet coming from? b) The recoil would be vastly different to on Earth due to gravity.

[Lochgorm]

19 minutes ago, PhilJ W said:

What surprises me is that in some science fiction films and novels has people using conventional guns in space. A prime example was Russian troops firing AK47's on the moon. a) There is no air on the moon so where is the oxygen required to fire the bullet coming from? b) The recoil would be vastly different to on Earth due to gravity.

a) No difference the oxidant is contained within the bullet’s cartridge.

 

b) No difference as action and reaction are proportional to mass which is independent of gravity.

[luckymucklebackit]

Just like your average pair of 00 points.

 

[Hroth]

2 hours ago, Lochgorm said:

b) No difference as action and reaction are proportional to mass which is independent of gravity.

 

On Earth you stay put and (maybe) get a sore shoulder when you fire your trusty AK47. Lunar gravity is approx one sixth that of Earth so the recoil may push the firer around a bit and cause the shot to miss its intended target. 

 

Perhaps this should be investigated...

 

[Chrisr40]

Being typically BRITISH:
🇬🇧 Having to shout “weyhey” if someone spills a drink or drops a glass in the pub. 
🇬🇧Saying “Aaaaaah” after taking the first sip of a cold beer.
🇬🇧 Having to have a beer at the airport, even though it is before 6am.
🇬🇧Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing
🇬🇧Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s perhaps best never to speak again
🇬🇧The relief when someone doesn’t answer their phone within three rings and you can hang up.
🇬🇧 Being obsessed with the weather.
🇬🇧Filming an entire fireworks display on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again
🇬🇧 Mishearing somebody’s name on the second time of asking, meaning you must now avoid them forever.
🇬🇧 Leaving everything til the last minute.
🇬🇧Obsession with the traffic.
🇬🇧Asking people “How their journey was?”
🇬🇧 Leaving it too late to correct someone, meaning you must live with your new name forever
🇬🇧 Running out of ways to say thanks when a succession of doors are held for you, having already deployed ‘cheers’, ‘ta’ and ‘nice one’
🇬🇧 Wearing shorts and sunglasses the moment the sun comes out.
🇬🇧 Having a Barbecue the moment the sun comes out.
🇬🇧 Insisting the barbecue will still go on despite the rain.
🇬🇧 Changing from ‘kind regards’ to just ‘regards’, to indicate that you’re rapidly reaching the end of your tether
🇬🇧 Realising you’ve got about fifty grand’s worth of plastic bags under your kitchen sink
🇬🇧"You’ll have to excuse the mess” – Translation: I’ve spent seven hours tidying in preparation for your visit
🇬🇧 Indicating that you want the last roast potato by trying to force everyone else to take it.
🇬🇧Knowing that putting the kettle on in a crisis will calm the situation down.
🇬🇧 The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea you forgot about
🇬🇧 Turning down a cup of tea for no reason and instantly knowing you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake
🇬🇧 Suddenly remembering your tea and necking it like a massive, lukewarm shot.
🇬🇧Forming a queue for almost anything.
🇬🇧 Finding queue jumping as a serious crime 🤣
🇬🇧 "I’m off to bed” – Translation: “I’m off to stare at my phone in another part of the house”
🇬🇧 Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change
🇬🇧 Saying hello to a friend in the supermarket, then creeping around like a burglar to avoid seeing them again
🇬🇧 Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you requested, whilst nodding approvingly as they hold the mirror up behind you, to show you what you can not see at the back.
🇬🇧 Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that’s right”
🇬🇧 Starting a controversial statement with “I’m not being funny, but...”
🇬🇧 Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon
🇬🇧 Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it
🇬🇧 Deeming it necessary to do a little jog over zebra crossings, while throwing in an apologetic mini wave
🇬🇧 Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible
🇬🇧 Loudly tapping your fingers at the cashpoint, to assure the queue that you’ve asked for money and the wait is out of your hands
🇬🇧 Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck.
🇬🇧 Finding nothing better than a Danish bacon sandwich.
🇬🇧 Being squashed on the train by a larger person and pretending you don’t notice when they are half sitting in your seat.
🇬🇧 Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before your station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit
🇬🇧 Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters you have the situation in hand
🇬🇧 Having someone sit next to you on the train, meaning you’ll have to eat your crisps at home
🇬🇧 The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector
🇬🇧 The horror of someone you only half know saying: “Oh I’m getting that train too”
🇬🇧 “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it
🇬🇧 Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare”
🇬🇧 Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right”
🇬🇧 Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best
🇬🇧 Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door.
🇬🇧 Getting in a taxi and trying your hardest not to say it, but you know you will eventually say “you been busy mate?”
🇬🇧 Saying “Sorry” for absolutely everything even though it was not your fault.

[J. S. Bach]

5 hours ago, uax6 said:

 

I'm quite surprised by the fact that they had never heard 'Dial Tone' before. But thinking about it, mobiles don't have it do they? And I suppose that land lines are becoming very rare these days. 

Of course with a dial, they are no tones when you actually dial, just the clicks of the loop being interrupted, it's only MF4 telephones that send tones to line.

 

I'm looking forward to the end of June, when I'm going to finally get a land line phone that will allow me to not pick up the handset when I dial: https://www.britishtelephones.com/lst1.htm

 

And just in case you think I'm a looney, you can buy Loop-disconnect to MF4 convertors to allow your old dial phone to work with Voip (and on ordinary lines), but until I'm forced to, I'm happy waring out BT's System X local unit.... https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/224769422065?hash=item34554d32f1:g:piQAAOSwpZ5iTCFi&amdata=enc%3AAQAIAAAA0GyNIdnrrkFBhm%2FW9CVY5N0ciRra2tNI66Y0biYplsPTcTTsVhLI4J2uAJJFFQdyRWGSC7dfMS%2BTigGSa8yYTVhIfEGKqCoEocuw1Kq1NOoYDJ1c7UVSn9U%2BA8zXlkcjM8mUm2t6U8Iie%2FVsP6c8BbMKUxk2hJEScg3WlZCz%2FnyHWfEgODABjF%2B5mNW7pT%2BlgIXdwc7p5X1OUzKjGYYWNWsp53iePamqWU2mx39i%2FEALOLVY6nId5BGLFEA8mp01G9F0FBF%2BOui2CaPVBldk8tw%3D|tkp%3ABk9SR8jiwK39YQ

 

 

 

Andy G

 

This is all of the link that is needed:

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/224769422065

 

Note that the referenced unit is quite pricey; there are others on the market that are much less.

[J. S. Bach]

37 minutes ago, Chrisr40 said:

Being typically BRITISH:
🇬🇧 Having a Barbecue the moment the sun comes out.

Because it so rarely does? 🙃

[luckymucklebackit]

3 hours ago, J. S. Bach said:

Because it so rarely does? 🙃

 

See #5 below

 

40 degrees-Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Scotland sunbathe.

 

35 degrees-Italian cars won't start.

People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

 

20 degrees-Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.

People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.

 

15 degrees-Californians begin to evacuate the state.

People in Scotland go swimming.

 

Zero degrees-New York landlords finally turn up the heat.

People in Scotland have the last bbq before it gets cold.

 

10 degrees below zero-People in Miami cease to exist.

People in Scotland lick flagpoles.

 

20 degrees below zero-Californians fly away to Mexico.

People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.

 

80 degrees below zero-Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.

Scottish Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets

cold  enough.

 

100 degrees below zero-Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

People in Scotland pull down their ear flaps.

 

173 degrees below zero-Ethyl alcohol freezes.

People in Scotland make whisky lollies

 

297 degrees below zero-Microbial life start to disappear.

Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

 

460 degrees below zero-ALL atomic motion stops.

People in Scotland start saying "chilly, you cald an aw?"

 

500 degrees below zero-Hell freezes over.

Scottish people support England in World Cup

[kevinlms]

37 minutes ago, luckymucklebackit said:

 

 

 

500 degrees below zero-Hell freezes over.

Scottish people support England in World Cup

Believable until you got to the end!

[CameronL]

45 minutes ago, luckymucklebackit said:

Scottish people support England in World Cup

I remember one World Cup (don't remember which one but Scotland weren't involved, so there's plenty to choose from) when England were playing Brazil in the knockout stages, and the sales of Brazil football shirts in Scotland went through the roof. 

 

Now there's a sign of how seriously  Scottish fans were taking it. They were actually spending money. 

[6990WitherslackHall]

Just booked my ticket for WCRC's Scarborough Spa Express on August 31st. I'll be going by train from Brid to Keighley and catching the railtour there. 

[durham light infantry]

4 minutes ago, 6990WitherslackHall said:

Just booked my ticket for WCRC's Scarborough Spa Express on August 31st. I'll be going by train from Brid to Keighley and catching the railtour there. 

 

Have you grasped the concept of this thread?

[melmerby]

1 hour ago, luckymucklebackit said:

 

See #5 below

 

40 degrees-Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Scotland sunbathe.

 

35 degrees-Italian cars won't start.

People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

 

20 degrees-Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.

People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.

 

15 degrees-Californians begin to evacuate the state.

People in Scotland go swimming.

 

Zero degrees-New York landlords finally turn up the heat.

People in Scotland have the last bbq before it gets cold.

 

10 degrees below zero-People in Miami cease to exist.

People in Scotland lick flagpoles.

 

20 degrees below zero-Californians fly away to Mexico.

People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.

 

80 degrees below zero-Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.

Scottish Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets

cold  enough.

 

100 degrees below zero-Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

People in Scotland pull down their ear flaps.

 

173 degrees below zero-Ethyl alcohol freezes.

People in Scotland make whisky lollies

 

297 degrees below zero-Microbial life start to disappear.

Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

 

460 degrees below zero-ALL atomic motion stops.

People in Scotland start saying "chilly, you cald an aw?"

 

500 degrees below zero-Hell freezes over.

Scottish people support England in World Cup

600 degrees below zero

Scotland win the world cup!

[Ozexpatriate]

2 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said:

40 degrees-Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Scotland sunbathe.

...

460 degrees below zero-ALL atomic motion stops.

People in Scotland start saying "chilly, you cald an aw?"

 

500 degrees below zero-Hell freezes over.

Scottish people support England in World Cup

I get the 'joke' but it's less funny when the scale is butchered. I'm trying to figure out what temperature scale this is supposed to be.

 

Absolute zero (0K is -273°C or -460°F)

 

Assuming Fahrenheit, then this (20°F / -7°C):

Quote

20 degrees-Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.

People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.

Is a bit generous. Floridians would start wearing a coat at 60°F / 15°C.

 

And at 40°F / 4°C

Quote

40 degrees-Californians shiver uncontrollably.

Many (perhaps most) people will shiver.

[The Johnster]

8 hours ago, Chrisr40 said:

Being typically BRITISH:
🇬🇧 Having to shout “weyhey” if someone spills a drink or drops a glass in the pub. 
🇬🇧Saying “Aaaaaah” after taking the first sip of a cold beer.
🇬🇧 Having to have a beer at the airport, even though it is before 6am.
🇬🇧Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing
🇬🇧Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s perhaps best never to speak again
🇬🇧The relief when someone doesn’t answer their phone within three rings and you can hang up.
🇬🇧 Being obsessed with the weather.
🇬🇧Filming an entire fireworks display on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again
🇬🇧 Mishearing somebody’s name on the second time of asking, meaning you must now avoid them forever.
🇬🇧 Leaving everything til the last minute.
🇬🇧Obsession with the traffic.
🇬🇧Asking people “How their journey was?”
🇬🇧 Leaving it too late to correct someone, meaning you must live with your new name forever
🇬🇧 Running out of ways to say thanks when a succession of doors are held for you, having already deployed ‘cheers’, ‘ta’ and ‘nice one’
🇬🇧 Wearing shorts and sunglasses the moment the sun comes out.
🇬🇧 Having a Barbecue the moment the sun comes out.
🇬🇧 Insisting the barbecue will still go on despite the rain.
🇬🇧 Changing from ‘kind regards’ to just ‘regards’, to indicate that you’re rapidly reaching the end of your tether
🇬🇧 Realising you’ve got about fifty grand’s worth of plastic bags under your kitchen sink
🇬🇧"You’ll have to excuse the mess” – Translation: I’ve spent seven hours tidying in preparation for your visit
🇬🇧 Indicating that you want the last roast potato by trying to force everyone else to take it.
🇬🇧Knowing that putting the kettle on in a crisis will calm the situation down.
🇬🇧 The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea you forgot about
🇬🇧 Turning down a cup of tea for no reason and instantly knowing you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake
🇬🇧 Suddenly remembering your tea and necking it like a massive, lukewarm shot.
🇬🇧Forming a queue for almost anything.
🇬🇧 Finding queue jumping as a serious crime 🤣
🇬🇧 "I’m off to bed” – Translation: “I’m off to stare at my phone in another part of the house”
🇬🇧 Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change
🇬🇧 Saying hello to a friend in the supermarket, then creeping around like a burglar to avoid seeing them again
🇬🇧 Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you requested, whilst nodding approvingly as they hold the mirror up behind you, to show you what you can not see at the back.
🇬🇧 Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that’s right”
🇬🇧 Starting a controversial statement with “I’m not being funny, but...”
🇬🇧 Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon
🇬🇧 Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it
🇬🇧 Deeming it necessary to do a little jog over zebra crossings, while throwing in an apologetic mini wave
🇬🇧 Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible
🇬🇧 Loudly tapping your fingers at the cashpoint, to assure the queue that you’ve asked for money and the wait is out of your hands
🇬🇧 Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck.
🇬🇧 Finding nothing better than a Danish bacon sandwich.
🇬🇧 Being squashed on the train by a larger person and pretending you don’t notice when they are half sitting in your seat.
🇬🇧 Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before your station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit
🇬🇧 Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters you have the situation in hand
🇬🇧 Having someone sit next to you on the train, meaning you’ll have to eat your crisps at home
🇬🇧 The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector
🇬🇧 The horror of someone you only half know saying: “Oh I’m getting that train too”
🇬🇧 “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it
🇬🇧 Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare”
🇬🇧 Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right”
🇬🇧 Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best
🇬🇧 Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door.
🇬🇧 Getting in a taxi and trying your hardest not to say it, but you know you will eventually say “you been busy mate?”
🇬🇧 Saying “Sorry” for absolutely everything even though it was not your fault.

 

There is not a single one of these that does not fully apply to me.

[melmerby]

3 hours ago, Ozexpatriate said:

I get the 'joke' but it's less funny when the scale is butchered. I'm trying to figure out what temperature scale this is supposed to be

It's should all be Celsius

40 C = 104F

20 C = 68F

Edited May 5, 2023 by melmerby

[Ozexpatriate]

5 hours ago, melmerby said:

It's should all be Celsius

40 C = 104F

20 C = 68F

Then -460°C is non sequitur.

Quote

460 degrees below zero-ALL atomic motion stops.

People in Scotland start saying "chilly, you cald an aw?"

Which in that case should be -273°C for absolute zero.

 

It's all ballsed up, which defeats the purpose of the joke. (My guess is that someone wrote it in Fahrenheit and later someone changed the warmer temps, ignorantly of absolute zero.)

 

And I'll add, with the exception of Death Valley, 40°C temperatures are incredibly rare in the major California cities. The average August high in LA is 30°C. (The record high is 41.7°C.)

 

As for San Francisco, this is apt:

Quote

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco

(Misattributed to Mark Twain)

 

And 35°F / 2°C is when Italian cars won't start. 😉

 

Edited May 6, 2023 by Ozexpatriate

[uax6]

16 hours ago, J. S. Bach said:

This is all of the link that is needed:

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/224769422065

 

Note that the referenced unit is quite pricey; there are others on the market that are much less.

 

This is the best available as it doesn't need fitting inside the phone with re-wiring of the dial like the others, this can just go in the master socket and do all of your phones...

 

Andy G

[6990WitherslackHall]

13 hours ago, durham light infantry said:

Have you grasped the concept of this thread?

 

Yes

[PaulRhB]

14 hours ago, durham light infantry said:

 

Have you grasped the concept of this thread?

 

so yes his railtour is making him smile and to be honest it makes me smile you picked out his post rather than the discussion of telephone dial tones above! 
🤣

[SHMD]

Things that make my "colon bend" !

 

 

Kev.

 

 

 

[luckymucklebackit]

9 hours ago, Ozexpatriate said:

Then -460°C is non sequitur.

Which in that case should be -273°C for absolute zero.

 

It's all ballsed up, which defeats the purpose of the joke. (My guess is that someone wrote it in Fahrenheit and later someone changed the warmer temps, ignorantly of absolute zero.)

 

And I'll add, with the exception of Death Valley, 40°C temperatures are incredibly rare in the major California cities. The average August high in LA is 30°C. (The record high is 41.7°C.)

 

As for San Francisco, this is apt:

(Misattributed to Mark Twain)

 

And 35°F / 2°C is when Italian cars won't start. 😉

 

 

Ah! Pedantry is alive and well, even in this thread😁

[J. S. Bach]

Ah, thread drift! I love it!!

[J. S. Bach]

From reading other posts in other threads, I guess that the coronation is over; drats, I slept through it all! 😪

[PhilJ W]

2 hours ago, J. S. Bach said:

From reading other posts in other threads, I guess that the coronation is over; drats, I slept through it all! 😪

Here in the UK we'll be hearing about it ad Infinium nausium.