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RIP Dad


NeilHB

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My dad passed away this morning. It wasn't entirely unexpected as he was very ill over the last four months, having been diagnosed with incurable pancreatic cancer back in September. He underwent chemotherapy, but we found out at the beginning of December that it had failed and that the cancer was increasing in size and spreading, at the time that was a huge shock, but then he was taken into hospital two weeks ago, supposedly for a couple of hours so that they could perform an endoscopy and bypass his bile duct as it was blocked by the cancer and was making him very ill, unfortunately they couldn't do the endoscopy, and he ended up not coming home. They let him out last weekend for a couple of days, and he didn't look very good when we'd got him home, and me and my stepmum didn't think he would last very long to be honest. Took him back to the hospital on sunday night and he was looking a bit better, which was good, had a bit more colour back rather than looking yellow as his liver wasn't doing very well before. He was doing quite well this week, so they let him out for xmas day for a few hours, and he spent the day with my stepmum at my sisters having a great time and looking really well. I spoke to him and he did sound really good, almost back to his old self again. Then my sister rang this morning to say that he'd had a heart attack but she didn't know anymore and was going to ring me when she got to the hospital when she'd found out more. Ten minutes later and my stepmum rang to say that he'd gone. They'd tried resuscitating him but it hadn't worked. Despite the fact that we were expecting it, we didn't think it would happen this soon. At the moment I just don't know what to think, or what to feel, other than I'm glad that he's not suffering anymore. :icon_cry:

 

Needless to say I'm not going to be around for a while, as I'm going to stop with my stepmum so that we can at least think about starting to sort everything out.

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My thoughts are with you as well. Other than that - I think all I could possibly say has been said by the others before me already. There never really is any easy way to get through a situation like this. So, do take as much time as you need.

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Hi Neil

Nothing prepares you for the loss of a loved one regardless of how long they have been ill. Nothing anyone can say will take that pain away. When people say it will get better with time what they really mean is that you will make sense of it and learn to accept the situation. Remember your father as the wonderful person he undoubtedly was and what he did for you. Try to remember the times when he was fit and healthy not the recent past when he was ill. In my job I have seen lots of people in your situation over the years, do not be afraid to be angry, try not to surpress your feelings.

You have a lot of people on this site who will be thinking of you and your loss, be strong for your family and your Dad.

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Just to add my best wishes Neil. It is always a difficult time and the festivities just make it worse. My only advice to you is to think of all the good times you had and cherish those memories.

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Just wanted to say a quick thank you to all who have sent their condolences, it is much appreciated. It is still hard, but I have been remembering the good times before he became ill, and it has helped.

 

Again, thank you all for your kind messages of condolence.

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