The Forum Jokes Thread

[kevinlms]

4 hours ago, Enterprisingwestern said:

 

IMHO a joke is a joke, and stereotyping helps it along.

 

Mike.

Not to mention it's how copy and paste of jokes works!

Edited November 24, 2020 by kevinlms
missing word

[Ruffnut Thorston]

9 hours ago, APOLLO said:

No names (But I bet one is Paddy & the other Mick) !!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Brit15

 

So, a job for tree fellers?

 

 

[leopardml2341]

18 hours ago, Pacific231G said:

Any reason why you chose that particular name  Kevin ?

 

 

10 hours ago, kevinlms said:

Not to mention it's how copy and paste of jokes works!

 

By way of example......

 

[Bernard Lamb]

19 hours ago, Pacific231G said:

Any reason why you chose that particular name  Kevin ?

 

A long time ago an Irish friend explained to me that the story of the Irish being stupid came about for a very good reason.

What happens when a country gets invaded?

The invaders kill off the religious leaders and the teachers and any other people who might be clever enough to organise a resistance group.

The Irish caught on to this long ago and by pretending to be stupid they survived. 

Quite clever really.

Far from being offended by the constant stream of jokes they are actually laughing to themselves that can still get away with it.

Bernard 

[PhilJ W]

And a lot of Irish jokes originate in Ireland and seem to be directed at the Ulstermen.

[PhilJ W]

Not all Irish jokes show the Irish as stupid. Some such as the dead donkey raffle joke is quite clever.

Edited November 25, 2020 by PhilJ W

[Pacific231G]

30 minutes ago, Bernard Lamb said:

A long time ago an Irish friend explained to me that the story of the Irish being stupid came about for a very good reason.

What happens when a country gets invaded?

The invaders kill off the religious leaders and the teachers and any other people who might be clever enough to organise a resistance group.

The Irish caught on to this long ago and by pretending to be stupid they survived. 

Quite clever really.

Far from being offended by the constant stream of jokes they are actually laughing to themselves that can still get away with it.

Bernard 

Ahh but would you tell stupid Irishman jokes in a  pub in Derry? The problem with negative sterotypes is that people tend to believe them. Jokes that poke gentle fun at harmless perceived national characteristics are a different thing altogether 

For example:-

 

Dai, from a small South Wales village, is shipwrecked on a remote island . Twenty years later a ship finally turns up. Before taking him off,  the ship's captain comes ashore to see how he'd  got on. He finds a modest but well built house,  a well managed small holding with crops and a few animals and then he sees a small chapel.

 

Dai explains that he's very devout and though he's alone he has a bible and a hymn book and likes to hold a proper Sunday service each week. Then hidden behind some trees the Captain finds  a second chapel. "Why did you buld two chapels Dai?" he asks. "Oh I had to have two,

This is the one I go to every Sunday.......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.........and that's the one I WOULDN'T BE SEEN DEAD IN!"   

 

My own roots are in S. Wales and I've met very few people from a similar background who didn't laugh at the joke .

 

Edited November 25, 2020 by Pacific231G

[leopardml2341]

8 minutes ago, Pacific231G said:

Ahh but would you tell stupid Irishman jokes in a  pub in Derry.

 

My partner's stepfather is Irish, they tell jokes, in Ireland, about the Kerry men whom I'm sure tell jokes about others too!

[pH]

7 minutes ago, leopardml2341 said:

My partner's stepfather is Irish, they tell jokes, in Ireland, about the Kerry men whom I'm sure tell jokes about others too!

And the Dutch tell jokes about the Belgians, and the rest of Germany tells jokes about East Frisians, and the rest of Canada tells jokes about Newfoundlanders ... 

[Pacific231G]

52 minutes ago, leopardml2341 said:

My partner's stepfather is Irish, they tell jokes, in Ireland, about the Kerry men whom I'm sure tell jokes about others too!

That's not confined to Ireland. The French are rude about the Belgians, Canadians about Quebecers or Newfies (Newfoundlanders), The Americans about Canadians, Australians about New Zealanders. There are also those about groups with a reputation for an inflated sense of their own superiority or as someone I know in a village in South West France once said to me.

"The trouble is, the English think they hate the French because we're rude and think we're superior, but that's the Parisians, and we can't stand them either!"  (I should say that I know Parisians who are delightful people)

For what it's worth, my own test is whether the joke is just a put down, often in reality a hostile one, or an affectionate appreciation of a group.

For example

 

An English couple are hiking in Ireland and the day's walk has been tougher than they expected. They come upon a cottage outside which a man is quietly smoking his pipe, his wife sees them and offers them a jug of lemonade. How far they ask is Killybegs (where they're staying the night) "Oh"  the man says "that would be about five miles" but the woman says "Oh no Michael, can you not see how tired they are, make it four miles"   

 

 

Edited November 25, 2020 by Pacific231G
spelling and typos

[Pacific231G]

48 minutes ago, PhilJ W said:

Not all Irish jokes show the Irish as stupid. Some such as the dead donkey raffle joke is quite clever.

The first time I heard that joke it was set in Oklahoma! Smart city type putting one over on slow country folk and wise country folk putting one over on not so smart city types are a rich vein of humour almost everywhere.

 

Is it true that when the railways were nationalised the smart city accountants couldn't understand why, since there were relatively few restaurant cars, BR had needed so many fish plates? 

[MartynJPearson]

An Irish joke in a different light...

 

An Irishman and two Americans are on the viewing deck on top of the Empire State building. It's a cloudy day but the top of the clouds are below the level of the deck.

"Awesome view" said one American to the Irishman

"Certainly is", replied the Irishman, "just like a big pillow"

"That's exactly what it is. If you jumped off, you'd just bounce off it", claimed the American

"Haha, you think because I'm Irish, I'm stupid"

"No, it's true, let me show you", said the American, at which point he leapt off the deck, and sure enough he landed on the clouds and bounced back onto the deck.

"You must have a bungee cord or something" said the Irishman, but the American demonstrated that there was no such trickery, before suggesting to the Irishman that he try it himself.

After a little trepidation, the Irishman steps to the edge, jumps off but rather than bouncing off the clouds, plummets straight through them to his death.

"You know", said the second American, "you can be an evil git at times, Superman"

[Hibelroad]

2 hours ago, pH said:

And the Dutch tell jokes about the Belgians, and the rest of Germany tells jokes about East Frisians, and the rest of Canada tells jokes about Newfoundlanders ... 

Its not often that you will see the words Germany and jokes in the same sentence. 

[Bernard Lamb]

Just now, Hibelroad said:

Its not often that you will see the words Germany and jokes in the same sentence. 

A few days ago I posted an East German joke.

I am still laughing that several people found it funny enough to respond to.

 

Back to the East Frisians. Why do they have flat heads? Because the toilet seat always hits their head when they have a drink of water.

Bernard

[Colin_McLeod]

4 hours ago, Bernard Lamb said:

Far from being offended by the constant stream of jokes they are actually laughing to themselves that can still get away with it.

 

 

I always thought that Irish jokes were stupid so that the English could understand them. 

 

 

Ducks for cover.... and runs.

 

 

 

 

 

.

Edited November 25, 2020 by Colin_McLeod
typo

[Colin_McLeod]

4 hours ago, PhilJ W said:

And a lot of Irish jokes originate in Ireland and seem to be directed at the Ulstermen.

 

3 hours ago, leopardml2341 said:

My partner's stepfather is Irish, they tell jokes, in Ireland, about the Kerry men whom I'm sure tell jokes about others too!

 

 

I'm from Ulster but now living in Kerry.  I must be doing something right. 

[Steamport Southport]

4 hours ago, Pacific231G said:

Ahh but would you tell stupid Irishman jokes in a  pub in Derry? The problem with negative sterotypes is that people tend to believe them. Jokes that poke gentle fun at harmless perceived national characteristics are a different thing altogether 

 

 

 

Yes. As long as the audience was right.

 

Jokes should be taken for what they are and in the context in which they are meant. A sensible comedian knows his audience, whether it's talking at the bar with a few mates or locals, or you are playing the local theatre or even on TV.

 

The Irishman in the pub or club has probably already heard it. Tell him something new. Just like endless "scouse jokes". I've heard them all, they aren't funny and just a sign that the comedian is rubbish. But if the comedian was doing jokes for everywhere (Newcastle, London, Milton Keynes, Wales, etc) then it's a lot more palatable.

 

I've seen a London comedian fill his set up with jokes ridiculing Liverpool, it's football teams and it's inhabitants and wonder why he was booed off...

 

Looking at you Alan Davis. Worst was Alexei Sayle where his set was just every 1980s stereotype of Liverpool done by someone who has lived in London for forty years. Still going on about Thatcher and strikes. 

 

 

 

Jason

Edited November 25, 2020 by Steamport Southport

[Colin_McLeod]

5 hours ago, Pacific231G said:

Ahh but would you tell stupid Irishman jokes in a  pub in Derry?

 

Maybe not, but you should be all right telling them in Londonderry. lol

[Dave 46]

5 hours ago, Pacific231G said:

<snip>

or as someone I know in a village in South West France once said to me.

"The trouble is, the English think they hate the French because we're rude and think we're superior, but that's the Parisians, and we can't stand them either!" 

<snip>

 

 

I have a couple of friends from the Vendee (western France), who both used to teach English.  When they occasionally went to Paris (Paul did some examination work there I think) they would pretend to be English because the Parisians would have treated them worse if they knew they were provincial French.

[F-UnitMad]

2 hours ago, Colin_McLeod said:

 

 

I always thought that Irish jokes were stupid so that the English could understand them. 

 

 

Ducks for cover.... and runs.

 

 

 

 

 

.

Beat me to it. And I'm English....

[leopardml2341]

2 hours ago, Colin_McLeod said:

 

 

I always thought that Irish jokes were stupid so that the English could understand them. 

 

 

Ducks for cover.... and runs.

 

 

 

 

 

.

That actually made me laugh out loud.

 

Good job I'm 'Yorkshire' first and English second

[PhilJ W]

26 minutes ago, leopardml2341 said:

That actually made me laugh out loud.

 

Good job I'm 'Yorkshire' first and English second

Cue Yorkshiremen jokes.

[Chris116]

4 minutes ago, PhilJ W said:

Cue Yorkshiremen jokes.

What's wrong with Essex jokes? My ex comes from Essex so I always enjoy them!

[PhilJ W]

1 minute ago, Chris116 said:

What's wrong with Essex jokes? My ex comes from Essex so I always enjoy them!

Nothing at all but your the first to mention Essex.

[Colin_McLeod]

Location redacted to reduce the risk of thread drift.   

 

PS  It's not Dublin or York.