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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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3 hours ago, Steamport Southport said:

I suppose it's something I would just assume that everybody knew and I'm far from being a fan!

 

 

A bit like Cliff Richard was Harry Webb and Michael Caine was Maurice Micklewhite. Both names are better than the ones they adopted IMO

 

Harry Webb And The Spiders would have been far better than Cliff Richard And The Shadows....

Better for what?

 

I couldn't imagine anybody called  "Maurice Micklewhite" would be offered many action hero roles, ditto Marion Morrison!!!! 😄.

 

Michael Caine was a nicely neutral moniker for anybody who wanted to avoid being pre-judged or typecast. 

Edited by Dunsignalling
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Not knowing anything much about Bob Dylan, I certainly didn't get the reference. I can't say I much like his music at all, and in fact tend to avoid it.

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19 minutes ago, Ian J. said:

Not knowing anything much about Bob Dylan, I certainly didn't get the reference. I can't say I much like his music at all, and in fact tend to avoid it.

I don't mind Bob Dylan's music but I don't know anything much about him, which is why I didn't get it. I'm not too keen on Elton John but I know that's not his real name, not that I can recall off the top of my head what it is (although it'll probably be a case of "Oh, that was it" when I see it).

 

Funny how we sometimes just pick up odd random facts and miss or forget others.

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15 minutes ago, Reorte said:

I don't mind Bob Dylan's music but I don't know anything much about him, which is why I didn't get it. I'm not too keen on Elton John but I know that's not his real name, not that I can recall off the top of my head what it is (although it'll probably be a case of "Oh, that was it" when I see it).

 

Funny how we sometimes just pick up odd random facts and miss or forget others.

 

Reggie!

 

Reginald Dwight as opposed to his new name  Elton Hercules John, which sounds like a horse*....

 

 

*No idea whether it's true but I have heard he got the Hercules bit from the horse in Steptoe and Son!

 

 

Not a fan either, but these things are useful to know if you do quizzes as they often come up.

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35 minutes ago, lapford34102 said:

Actually a real action hero as he did fight in the Korean war though.

 

https://www.fusiliermuseumlondon.org/art24491

 

Stu

 

You find that applied to many of the actors from that era. Most of them "Did their bit" and quite often they got their starts as extras in war films as they looked the part.

 

Funniest one was the story of Peter Butterworth. Went for a role in The Wooden Horse and was turned down as he "didn't look convincingly heroic or athletic enough". He was one of the actual POWs involved in the escape!

 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Butterworth

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16 hours ago, Titan said:

 I think David Tennant wanted to use his original name but had to change it anyway, as there was already an equity member with that name.

 

He originally used Tennant just as a stage name in the UK for that reason. He later legally changed his name to meet American Screen Actors Guild requirements.

  

12 hours ago, Steamport Southport said:

Funniest one was the story of Peter Butterworth. Went for a role in The Wooden Horse and was turned down as he "didn't look convincingly heroic or athletic enough". He was one of the actual POWs involved in the escape!

 

Talbot Rothwell was in the same POW camp, which is how Peter Butterworth ended up in many of the Carry On films.

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10 minutes ago, exmoordave said:

So if you're not meant to drink WD40, why does it come with a straw?

 

Its for the Buckfast drinkers who want to get into the "hard" stuff...

 

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23 minutes ago, exmoordave said:

So if you're not meant to drink WD40, why does it come with a straw?

Given plastic drinking straws are banned in many places now, shouldn't WD40 cans come with paper straws now?

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Just saw that Sainsburys have cut the price of their own brand loo roll.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-65901733

They say its because the cost of pulp has dropped.

But perhaps the bottom has dropped out of the market...

 

I wonder if the number of sheets per roll has been reduced too, rather like chocolate manufacturers reducing the size of their bars?

 

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On 13/06/2023 at 17:53, Steamport Southport said:

 

Reggie!

 

Reginald Dwight as opposed to his new name  Elton Hercules John, which sounds like a horse*....

 

 

*No idea whether it's true but I have heard he got the Hercules bit from the horse in Steptoe and Son!

 

 

Not a fan either, but these things are useful to know if you do quizzes as they often come up.

The John part came from a chap I knew who played with a band at a pub in Watford called The Horns. He went by the name of Long John Baldry. I imagine that is were Elton's interest in the football club originated.

I also knew a couple who lived in Harrow who knew Elton by different names. The woman knew him as Reg, as she was at school with him amd her partner came across him later and so knew him as Elton.

Bernard

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11 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said:

Thieves got away with cordless power tools and batteries from a hardware shop. Police said that when they catch them they will be charged.

However a police spokesperson added that they don't have any leads.

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