The Forum Jokes Thread

[Baby Deltic]

[F-UnitMad]

31 minutes ago, Baby Deltic said:

You’ve probably realised I have a lot of time on my hands just lately. Need to do some housework really but sitting posting jokes and memes is more fun.

Oh we worked that out alright.

We haven't complained though because occasionally some of the jokes you post are actually funny, so they're worth waiting for.

[Baby Deltic]

[Baby Deltic]

[Baby Deltic]

[Baby Deltic]

[PhilJ W]

 

 

[PhilJ W]

 

[PhilJ W]

 

[PannierTanker14]

Here’s a joke I made

 

it does however require knowledge of both Southern region tank engines and Dinosaurs.

Edited May 5, 2020 by PannierTanker14

[Baby Deltic]

[Baby Deltic]

[Baby Deltic]

"A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed."

[Baby Deltic]

[Baby Deltic]

[luckymucklebackit]

Anyone see the irony of the release date for "Last of us II", a much anticipated Playstation game based around the aftermath of a very nasty killer virus ravaging the world, being delayed due to a real very nasty killer virus ravaging the world?

 

Jim

[F-UnitMad]

[Baby Deltic]

[Baby Deltic]

[Steamport Southport]

[Steamport Southport]

Paddy goes for a walk and reaches a river where he sees his mate Mick on the opposite bank.

 

Paddy shouts "How do I get to the other side?"

 

Mick Replies "You are on the other side."

 

"Ahh! That's alright then"

[Chris116]

1 minute ago, Steamport Southport said:

Paddy goes for a walk and reaches a river where he sees his mate Mick on the opposite bank.

 

Paddy shouts "How do I get to the other side?"

 

Mick Replies "You are on the other side."

 

"Ahh! That's alright then"

[Steamport Southport]

*cough*

 

That joke was by a comedy genius called Dave Allen.....

 

 

 

A man walks up to the pub and is about to go into it when the nun starts shouting. "BEFORE YOU ENTER THIS DEN OF SIN, THINK OF YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER!"

 

He said back to the nun. "They're dead, they're dead and in heaven"

 

The nun went for a different tack and said. "Think then! Think of the damage the alcohol will do to your brain!"

 

"What? Whatever are ye talking about? Have you ever had a drink?"

 

And the nun said no.

 

"Well how the hell can you stand there and talk about the damage the alcohol is gonna do to your brain if ye never had it? I tell ye what, I'll go in there, buy ye a drink, take it out here, you can try it and if you don't like THEN ye can talk about it. But don't talk about things ye've never experienced. What will ye have?"

 

And the nun says. "I don't know, what do ladies drink?"

 

"Gin"

 

and she says "Alright I'll have a gin. But get it in a cup so nobody will notice."

 

The fella goes into the bar and says to the barman "Get us a pint of beer and a double gin in a cup."

 

The barman replies "Ah fer christ's sake is that bloody nun out there again?"

[Chris116]

11 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said:

*cough*

 

That joke was by a comedy genius called Dave Allen.....

 

 

It was the way he told them!

[Steamport Southport]

32 minutes ago, Chris116 said:

It was the way he told them!

 

Nope. That was Frank Carson.....