Natalie

Hi Im really unsure about whether to post this or not as there are people far worse off and all I am doing is just being a miserable whining cow. But I am really at the end of my tether now and doing my damdest not to od or self harm again. I live at my 71 year old mum's as I lost my house and belongings 6 years ago. Without her I would already be dead. She is awaiting 2x TKR and 2 x THR for at least before Christmas. Her mobility was usually excellent and unaided but deteriorated literally over night to using 2 elbow crutches which are effective but obviously slow. The main issue is that she just will not accept that she needs help with things like carrying hot drinks and food around. Daily since Christmas at least I have said multiple times to her to not carry things when on crutches as they will destabilise you and increase the risk of falling. I have tried to explain that the last thing you want is a #NOF as the mortality rates are exceptionally high for the first year. But she refuses to listen. She always knows best. Apparently I am the one that is causing the problems and trying to stop her doing anything. I say on a twice daily basis that you cannot carry a glass bowl of hot porridge from the kitchen over an unsecured mat, up a 6" step whilst using both crutches but it is in one ear and out the next. Seemingly i dont know what i am talking about. Apparently she can't keep getting me to carry things despite me constantly saying that is exactly what I want you to do. I would understand if I didn't do anything and refuse to help but this is not the case. I get rhat it is frustrating but it seems as though my concerns and feelings are of no relevance or importance. What is happening is that our relationship is plunging as is my mental health as I simply can't cope with this anymore. I don't like feeling like this or causing it am scared as well that our relationship which has always been fairly good will breakdown permanently and irretrievably. I didn't have ready access to my blade or bits of glass then I would have used them but that would have something else to be slagged off for. I would dearly love to be able to swallow all my meds and be out of it all but feel guilty about that. I could get a carer I spose but can't afford it, it is my role to do the caring as I am here. There is no way she would tolerate a caret going in at set times and saying what needs to be done. I have no problem with being the carer. I just can't take the constant ignoring of my advice. I have said that it will be catastrophic if you fall and die early and rhe last thing that I want but that seemingly makes no difference. Why is it that I feel that I am being a complete for feeling this way and that maybe I dont know anything after all. Im sorry to go on like this especially when there are people with real actual problems (like Rick or John Coombe Barton and Sandy) or without a previous introduction but I do read ER every day. How do you cope or manage when making that transition from offspring to carer- even if likely to be a temporary thing? I just feel like I am getting all the frustration and anger from mother over the loss of her mobility but it is not my fault. I feel a bit better and shall return somewhat ironically to my actual real black dog (a black Patterdale terrier) Minnie the Mop who always makes things feel better Best wishes Natalie

Fraid not Mark- that doesn't work anymore- we are fully aware of that little scam.... The stakes or consequences will simply be raised! "You are hereby sentenced to build lots of air braked wagons."

You have a fine avatar indeed Sir. I keep chuckling to myself over the fact that Spurs are in the Champions League Final. Considering the lack of transfer activity over the last 12/12, their current very poor form not helped by injuries, having lost an incredible 19 games this season, main striker injured for a period and with a fraction of the budget of the others in the top 6, for Spurs to reach the Champions League Final is simply crazy. Imagine what they could achieve if they played well consistently? At half time at least I would previously thought that there was more chance of DJM producing all of their announced products to a superb standard at their intended time and any issues were insignificant and not any third party's fault than Spurs progressing. I hadn't factored on Captain Kane though who has been reported as having gone into the dressing room and informed his teamates that it maybe wasn't their best performance ever and suggested that maybe they should try and play some football in the second half as you never know- it might work although in not so many words. Whatever he may have said certainly appears to have worked- thank god... Spurs in the final! Wow.. I think someone needs to chuck a bucket of water over me as to use a cliché- im buzzing. I've not felt like this since discovering a previously (to me) unseen pic of Mk2f RSS M1800 or the discovery of a previously unknown set of Sunday workings on the Met Railway Watford- Rickmansworth service in the late 1920s which were being operated by electric locos and 1 coach instead of the more usual double ended electric compartment stock- complete with the complex diagrams to provide the required locos and stock or seeing new borns being delivered whilst on a placement in Labour Suite when a Stooge. You can't help though but have some sympathy for Ajax and their fans in the way that they went out so late- an awful way to lose. A consolation maybe for Ajax is that this won't be the last we hear of this team and their form this season suggests that they are likely to make a huge impact in European competition for the next few years at least. They are are a very good side who are likely to win something soon. Unfortunately though only one team can get through and on this occasion I was one of those joyous rather than devastated. Can I also say how classy and dignified some of the Liverpool fans have shown themselves to be by posting congratulatory messages on the Spurs forums? With the Europa League final looking like it is going to be Chelsea v the Arses- has there ever been a previous occasion when the two major European finals ( or maybe when there were three- European Cup, ECWC and the UEFA Cup) have all the teams in the finals been English or at least British?

WTF!! My flabber has been well and truly gasted. Did that really actually happen? I was seriously considering modelling something less stressful like Patagonian Jam Butty Mine Narrow Gauge Electro-Diesels. I have just had to calm the Patterdale down as I scared her when the winner went in..

I'm lost for words! Can they do it? Not doing my ulcer much good- maybe time for some more Lansoprazle.. Why oh why can't they play like this for the whole game?

With that I think it is goodnight from me. As they say there is always next year-hopefully. Some investment desperately needed over the Summer to strengthen the squad- maybe a clearout of some required or just a good rest and recuperation? Its a funny old game-apparently.

Reading South Tyne's accounts and enthusiasm for South Shields and Gateshead is infectious and really appealing. I am seriously thinking that it would be a great idea to go and follow the Borough next season at home at least (assuming that they haven't fallen out again with the resident rugby club.) I may not have physically been to a game since seeing Spurs play Coventry at Highfield Road just before they moved to the Ricoh. Im not sure which league Nuneaton will find themselves in after relegation from the National League North but at least I should be guaranteed some honest and genuine football. The current management team are well known and experienced in the local area and are saying all the right things. Importantly they appear to be genuine football people. The hour is fast approaching in Amsterdam and I am getting a little edgy. Which Spurs is going to turn up? Will Dele and Erikson play to their full ability? I think we are due for this- they both have been lacking somewhat in their recent performances. Anyways no point getting too anxious about it- it is only a football match. ..............

Dier was indeed lucky not to be red carded in addition to giving away a penalty - which was not given. Although Son should not have reacted like he did- and it is unusual for him- Bournemouth had been niggling and digging the whole time. Lomas instigated Son's response by spontaneously and needlessly stamping on Son's foot then dropping to the floor and doing a few forward tumbles for good measure- yet he was not even booked nor had retrospective action taken against him by the FA. Spurs really need to keep their cool in these circumstances as it makes them easy prey. In the circumstances Spurs were unlucky not to get a draw but credit must go to Bournemouth's young Irish goalkeeper making his debut as he kept his team in with a shout. Always seems to happen against Spurs! Well done to Liverpool for last night's win though with the reaction coming from the sport media I thought that they had solved world peace, poverty, hunger, delivered br@#it and beaten Accurascale by getting a market-leading worldclass state of the art class 92 to market first. As for the semi (final- not an LMS Pacific) I shall be partaking the traditional way via radio. Maybe if I fear the worst then it won't be as bad should they lose. What I would like is them to put up a good show of themselves and to shut the continual doubting media- the likes of Anal Durham on TS- up. No doubt if they do manage to win it won't be classified as difficult and brilliant as Liverpool's comeback has been. A little bit of credit at how they have progressed without a super rich benefactor wouldn't go amiss from the media. Above I want them to go through fairly by scoring more goals than Ajax- not away goals or pens and the same if they are eliminated- to be because have Ajax scored more goals on aggregate. AD has just said "imagine it. Liverpool could lose the final to Spurs- how unfair would that be.." Regarding the difficulties that local clubs can find themselves in this has been such a season for my local team Nuneaton Town/Borough who have this season been taken to the brink of folding and come back but have suffered as a result of this on field finishing bottom of the NLN. Hopefully they can recover but I think it highlights the message that if the lower league/ local teams are to survive and thrive then the local fans and population need to pass through their turnstiles and support them as it appears that the FA couldn't care less if they exist or not- as long as the Premier League thrives then they are happy. COYS

As far as I know the couplers on HST Mk3s are compatible with those on Mk1,2 and 3a/b vehicles. There are a number of photos of mixed HST Mk3 and Mk3a formations in the early years of the class 253 HST involved in non-revenue work. The set used for the 140 mph tested also utilised M12140 coupled to HST Mk3s in the formation. Pictures are on traintesting.com. The main difference as I understand between the couplers on the HST and the loco-hauled Mk3s are that those on the HST are fixed in the raised condition whilst those on loco- hauled coaches- (not Mk4) are droppable so as to expose the drawhook. This is why barriers are required as a HST Mk3 cannot be coupled directly to a loco via a screw coupling- class 73s fitted with buckeyes have been used in the past though as they have a buckeye and a rubbing plate.

In addition to getting Jim’s book (which no Met enthusiast should be without) you may find ‘Workhorses of the Underground’ by J Graeme-Bruce (Capital Transport 1987) of interest. It covers locos, track machines, pilot motors etc, and wagons. There is a list of LT service stock in the book. It is out of print currently. Natalie

The BFOs were originally part of an order for FOs. A need was identified for some 125mph rated brake vehicles to enable the electric HST (classified at the time by the RSL as class 90) and 89 to be tested at that speed to allow comparison of motive power. To provide the three vehicles required the FO order was changed to build 3 of the FOs as brake vehicles. The initial costing to Derby was based on an HST TGS. BFOs were not built for the Manchester Pullman. By the time the BFOs appeared the electric HST project had been cancelled (thus releasing the class 90 classification) so they were used with the 89 with two vehicles allocated to the Glasgow portion of the Clansman. Use with the Pullman sets came a few years later after the 89 tests had finished. Natalie

Hi Mal Just wanted to add my voice to what everyone else has written. You clearly have a lot of friends on here who care deeply for you. I am a lurker on ER and don’t often post but felt moved by your fortitude. Above all you seem to be a staggeringly brave and above all dignified man. Your courage is quite simply stunning and awe inspiring. I doubt that I would be if I were facing similar. I don’t know what else to say really as I know there is nothing that I can do or say to provide you with real comfort. You and your family remain continually in all of our collective thoughts. Hugs Natalie xx

I had cause to venture out of the halls over the bridge to International station so encountered some of the comic con attendees in full attire. I was passed by a group of young males who were dressed with foam padding to their bony joints carrying small yellow plastic see-through machine gun style machine guns. Unfortunately for them also wandering the area were BTP officers brandishing rather larger versions of the real and deadly variety. I know which one I would rather face! What was great amongst the mostly young people wearing the costumes was they didn't seem to give a damn about how they looked or what others thought of them. They were open and proud about their hobby unlike many in the railway and model world who try to hide it or keep it secret. It was very refreshing.

How about the female enthusiast types? I am intrigued to see what I should be wearing and if I can be considered cool and 'on-trend' whatever that means. I await your informed response!

Don't forget 86233 was painted in a version of electric blue by Virgin near the end of its life. If there is another argument to be had over the alleged 'electric blue as built' falsehood then I am happy to appear for the 'No they weren't' brigade. All in all this is a good choice of model but we will know nothing about how good or not it is or if the pan is going to be up to scratch until it appears in the Heljan boxes. It is going to be a long and potentially tedious wait. Let's hope it is worth it.

Hi Clive Firstly apologies in that I never managed to find Friday Bridge and I was judging layout signalling. There was an impromptu meeting on Saturday morning whilst assessing Mick Bryan's excellent New Bryford where Mick and I were joined by Mike Stationmaster and another member whose name I have scandalously forgotten - Stuart? - and apologise for. It was a pleasant exchange however and was undoubtedly an rmweb meetup (however much of a lurker I am) and I therefore claim my £5.

Superb work Jonathan. Really shows how well the Jouef 3a can look especially with Brian's window frames and laser flush glazing. Your style of writing is also really good and clear. I especially like the comparison photos. Hopefully we presented them to your satisfaction in your articles for DEMU in UpDate. Look forward to seeing more of your work. Might be worth having a look at Andy Clayton's superb mk 2 stock as he detailed in REM. Beside highlighting the main issue with the Hornby 2e stock (windows too small), Andy's transformation of the old Triang/Hornby mk 2 stock is simply amazing and turns it into a very credible alternative to the Bachmann examples. Keep up the good work.

Not sure if it has been mentioned already-apologies if it has- but outside the show opening times the exhibition hall is classed as a construction site with associated rules and standards in place. I think the insurance levels differ also according to whether the public are admitted or not.

Excellent news. With you as an author it is sure to be a winner. Looking forward to seeing what you dig up from the archives. Another class with unusual ETH provision- double-pole SR 750v dc and single-pole UIC. Is it 2020 yet, are we nearly there?!

The Oxford Rail advert in the October edition of Railway Modeller has for the main picture a blue/grey mk3a FO behind a rail blue class 50 (presumably a Hornby one). Whilst the livery application appears to reflect the loco hauled version- rounded grey end with a blue band between it and black end, the yellow/blue upper stripe is too thick and essentially HST style. More worrying is the depth of the rail grey band is not deep enough as it is at the same level as the top of the recessed door handrail rather than being a little lower and dissecting the handrail. For me this affects the look of the coach and makes it appear shorter and higher in comparison. With their deeper rail grey area the 3a stock tends to look longer than a blue/grey HST trailer even though it is not. Hopefully this is not the retail version but is yet another silly and avoidable error. Edit- I have just taken a look at the coaches on Hatton's site and there are no painted blue/grey versions just Oxford Rail's artist impression of the livery application. That shows the rail grey to be the right depth dissecting the recessed handrail in the correct place. Is it to be another case of OR snatching defeat from the jaws of victory? Fingers crossed that it is not.

Long time admirer of your work. Doing the 457 with Kelly. One of the stumbling blocks is the need to have mk3 type windows with letter box vents above. Our initial source is no longer available so we need to get some etched but lack the measurements of the windows to do so. Despite 67300 being about 3 miles away when at the ERM we never measured those windows. I did the phase 3 components but that is all. But back to your awesome models. Can I be permitted to make a small comment about your 313? On the first 10 units the roof vents are larger. Additionally as I am sure that you are already aware of is that some units in NSE had no black or a reduced amount on the yellow ends. Looking forward to your next project- maybe a 455/7?

I don't usually attend this show as I am a 4mm modeller. This year I organised the Signalling Record Society stand which gave me my first visit to the show. I was not disappointed. The standard of modelling on show was excellent and can be recommended to modellers of any scale. There is much to be seen. If in the future I am not attending as a visitor I certainly would seriously consider attending as a paying customer. A show definitely to be recommended.

Additionally the mk3a RUB/RFB, Sleepers and the Mk 3b stock have HST style central square vents instead of the 3 roe vac. The sleepers and 3b stock also have electric tail lights on the ends. The layout of the skirt panels differ between types too. Finally the loco hauled varieties have RCH carriage lighting jumpers.

Hi I'm not sure if my memory is playing tricks on me- highly possible- but I seem to remember reports of class 45 locos being sighted with a black roof ostensibly applied by Toton to tidy up their appearance and hide roof grime. This would have been towards the end of their reign on the MML so early to mid 1980s. Is anyone able to confirm this at all please? Thanks in advance.

Hi Kev Im another that enjoyed seeing Parakeet Palace at Lyddrail. I loved the whole "no need to cram everything in when you can suggest that it is off scene." approach. Your 304 also looked great for the tweaks to the cab windows. It was the sound that did it for me evoking childhood and early adult memories of them bouncing up and down the Trent Valley. It would be great if Modelu were able to shrink us down to 4mm scale and we could spend some time on the platform keeping an eye out for any activity from the yard. This is a well observed and built little layout that oozes the mid to late 1980s and is worthy of close and prolonged study. You wont be diaappointed and neither was I and i can be quite a fussy and picky mare when it comes to layouts. Hopefully Guy has booked it for DEMU Showcase which will be in a new and larger location in Burton-upon-Trent in time for DEMU's 25th anniversary. I look forward to just watching the trains come and go on PH once again.