chris p bacon

John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells. John's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover. To John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Yes it was in the local rag (Beds on Sunday) week after week, I think it was more to do with stopping the railway ever being returned by some local Councillors rather than actually rowing. From Bedford St Johns there is nothing actually blocking the old trackbed until you get to Blunham where there is a small development of houses on the line and yard, after that the trackbed has become a road where it passes under the A1 and from then on it is blocked by housing (1990) and a school (1976) part of the embankment to carry it up and over the ECML is still there although breached in a couple of places. It was kept as a noise barrier between housing and the Industrial estate. That part of the route is a no go but there is still plenty of open farm land north of the town should the route be considered. From Sandy the route through Potton, Gamlingay and Lords Bridge makes no sense.....although I wish I had a time machine........

There is no rowing lake. Just a pipedream for the 2012 olympics, all the area has become landfill and the trackbed is still there as route 51 cycleway from Bedford to Sandy. No population but it is the shortest and easiest way to cross from the existing route to the ECML with a slight deviation near Blunham. The villages of Willington and Blunham would be a hotbed of protest though, as they were when it was mooted about 10 years ago.

I know I live in Sandy. still plenty of room North of the town. A junction there and then on the Up to Hitchin with a reversal onto the Cambridge branch, for West bound a service could access the down platform at Hitchin by running wrong line over the new flyover (bi- directional signalling?) then North. Just a thought.....

It's not difficult, just needs someone brave enough with a bulldozer There are a couple of route options it could take to get to the ECML although the original is not insurmountable, that is until you need to create a junction to access it.

If you look at the state of the water in the bow wave and think that just around the coastline are all those holiday resorts......

How long is the poll for ? there must be a time frame in mind.

I'm guessing his tongue was firmly planted in his cheek with his post. But then I think all "Brians" should be scrapped......I had a moped with more power.

Father was a PoW in France and he hated them all, he had no problem with the Germans as he said "we knew they were the bad guys, it was the French that were supposed to be our Allies but nobody bothered to tell them" They had a Latrine bucket and a soup bucket but the French only gave them one bucket...... After an inspection by Karl Doenitz they were moved into Germany were the Germans treated them better ! Sorry just realised going off topic whoops!

Was that the voice of the Omnipotent Tony Wright then ?

Just for that split second I thought "married but not living together, yes that would work".......

I wouldn't worry too much about the weathering on the fish vans Gilbert, this is what they look,like when they get to Sandy. Courtesy of Grimsby men, a cab heater and a forgetting about the bottleneck..... Not fish again Mother......yes, there was more on the doorstep again this morning!

A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English. So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree." The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock." Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock." The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity. The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike." The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them. The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way? The chief replied, "My bike."

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf. This was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where's the money? The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido where's the money? Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's temple and says, "Ask him again!" The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him.." Guido signs back, "OK.!!!! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house." The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?" The lawyer replies, " He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

Now you are theorising without evidence. Welcome to the club, it's not exclusive.

Sorry Bill but whenever I read your posts in this thread I'm reminded of Fraser from Dad's army. We're all Dooooommmeed..

The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened?" she asks anxiously. "What happened!! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an e-mail to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my Sally, with a naked guy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, and the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!" "Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. Sally would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened." Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. "I told you there must be a simple explanation: she didn't get your e-mail!"

Don't laugh...I never thought of looking on the other side.....Duh!

I may be wrong but behind the B vans is the "wavy" outline of a car carrier. don't know if it is a cartic but there is something there. I've tried to Bingit, http://binged.it/1eZ0FcP

He came back for my friends Ice cream as a dessert last year.

Weather Conditions Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Regina Saskatchewan. She said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.. The temperature is 32 below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. Wind chill is -59. Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. She says that if it gets much worse, She may have to let the drunken b*stard in.

Just unwrapping William Shatner - Has Been Is this wise ?

Named Avocet at Sandy, the HQ of the RSPB (an Avocet is the RSPB's logo) by Margaret Thatcher, who promptly left to return to London by car ! Says it all. Sorry back on topic.. saw it at least 3 times a week now b*ggered if I can remember what she was on !

We've noticed that more and more we are being asked if we "are Australian" when in the US, I usually reply "No Just one of the colonies" Last September we were on a cruise ship with some Oz and Kiwi's, An American asked me if I was Australian, they were bemused as the American had no idea what their accents were, when we explained where they were from he had no clue and was convinced we were kidding him ! I'm getting a T shirt made with "I'm not an Australian" on it for the next holiday.

They don't take long, do they? Q. What do you get if you cross the English cricket team with an OXO cube? A. A laughing stock. Q What’s the height of optimism? A: English batsman putting on sunscreen. Q. What’s the difference between an English batsman and a Formula 1 car? A. Nothing! If you blink you’ll miss them both. Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common? A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from. Q. What does an English batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson? A.They both wore gloves for no apparent reason. Q. What is the difference between Cinderella and the Pommies? A. Cinderella knew when to leave the ball. Q. What's the difference between the Pommies and a funeral director? A. A funeral director isn't going to lose the ashes.