RhBBob

He's a real nowhere man.....

A Summer Place - Percy Faith and his Orchestra Just being optomistic !

Slightly better value given the number you get - okay all the same/similar model, but for £4.73 ?? http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/V1NF-20PCS-Scaled-1-75-Painted-Model-Cars-Parking-Scenery-Train-Layout-/321170902017?pt=UK_ToysGames_ModelKits_ModelKits_JN&hash=item4ac7470c01

And pity the poor fireman bringing the coal through the narrow corridor .......

Ah, those were the days ......... ...as the song goes ' Up, up and away '

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path just is narrow. In fact, b****r off and leave me alone. 2. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. 3. No one is listening until you fart. 4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. 5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. 7. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it. 11 . If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen. 13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the-first time. 14. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgement. 15. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our a*s* ... then things just get worse. 20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

I shudder to think what his family photos look like

Is it just me being immediately put off by the words 'Here we have.....' ?

Question: What rings and smells ? Answer: Dunnnnnggggggg

Aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhh ! That's all I can say ! Did I spell it correctly ?

Balsa wood with some metal parts - I'd never have thought of that - and the motor is not fixed into the body. So much easier to bin, then ?

Along with the fingers that operated the camera ?

New year, new manager....nothing changes, then ? Must be Gazza next, or maybe M. Mouse* or D. Duck* ? *sorry, forgot, they're already running the club

That's what was missing from my grammar school ! Girls !

But he 'will post to United Kingdom.....'

Nah, I think it's a van - or as he puts it 'I do believe'. Flimsy evidence, methinks

Sadly, they don't have those crossing gates at either venue

And Modellbahnshop Lippe will be happy to supply you with a V4 Sound Chip programmed for your loco - or similar prototype motor type if the prototype isn't available - and including postage for about £86. Yes, being outside the Euro does have its benefits ! No, I'm just a satisfied customer as well.

Robin Hood, newly restored as Earl of Loxley, lay dying in his castle bedroom surrounded by his Merrie Men. Hauling himself up on one elbow he whispered " Little John, please fetch me my bow and arrow". Little John duly obliged. Again Robin whispered " Will Scarlet, open the window ". Will did so. "Men", said Robin Hood, "I shall now fire this arrow and where it lands I wish to be buried." He drew back the bow string and with his last breath released the arrow. Late that day, in accordance with his wishes, he was buried....on top of the wardrobe.

The old lady lived alone with just her parrot for company. Despite many years spent trying to teach the bird to speak, all the parrot would say was ‘Who is it?’ in a similar tone to that of its owner. One morning the old lady went out, completely forgetting that the plumber was coming round. The plumber duly arrived and knocked on her door. The parrot asked ‘Who is it?’ The tradesman replied ‘It’s the plumber’. Again the voice within asked ‘Who is it?’ The plumber replied in a somewhat louder voice ‘It’s the plumber’. Each time the parrot asked again, the plumber replied in an every-increasing angry tone until eventually the exhausted plumber collapsed on the door-step. Soon the old lady returned and seeing the man collapsed on her door-step cried out ‘Who is it?’ From within the house a voice replied ‘It’s the plumber’.

She: if you were widowed, would you marry again ? He: probably, yes She: would you let her wear my clothes ? He: well, probably, yes She: would you let her use my golf clubs ? He:...err...she's left-handed

I am your private dancer, dancer for money...... Err - I've done it again

I am a woman in love ! Err, make of that what you will.....

Maisie was much the highlight of the Care Home, often dressing provocatively in skimpy clothing. She would parade around the Day Room trying to entice the male residents. One afternoon she bounced into the Day Room where Gerald, who was somewhat hard of hearing, was dozing in his chair. ‘Super sex’ she cried as she confronted him. Gerald looked up at her and replied ‘Soup, please’

I used to have fun with the comma being used in Europe instead of the full stop between 'pounds & pence' or 'euros & cents' but I don't know if that applies to Australia.