PGC

A PERSPECTIVE ON STRATEGIES (OR ‘DOESN’T THIS SOUND FAMILIAR?’) Navajo tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following: 1. Buying a stronger whip. 2. Changing riders. 3. Say things like, "This is the way we have always ridden this horse." 4. Appointing a committee to study the horse. 5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. 6. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses. 7. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse. 8. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability. 9. Comparing the state of dead horses in todays environment. 10. Change the requirements declaring that "This horse is not dead." 11. Hire contractors to ride the dead horse. 12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed. 13. Declaring that "No horse is too dead to beat." 14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance. 15. Do a Cost Analysis study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper. 16. Purchase a product to make dead horses run faster. 17. Declare the horse is "better, faster and cheaper" dead. 18. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses. 19. Revisit the performance requirements for horses. 20. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable. 21. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.

Most apt for RM Web!!!!!!!!! At last, Gordon Brown reluctantly decided to throw in the towel and resign. His cabinet colleagues decided it would be a worthy gesture to name a railway locomotive after him so a senior 'Sir Humphrey' travelled from Whitehall to the National Railway Museum in York to investigate the possibilities. "They do have a number of locomotives at the NRM without names," a specially-sought railway consultant told the top civil servant, "however, these are mostly freight locomotives." "Oh dear, that's not very fitting for a prime minister." said Sir Humphrey. "How about that big green one, over there?" he said, pointing to Number 4472. "But 4472 already has a name" said the consultant. "It's called 'The Flying Scotsman'." "Oh. Couldn't it be renamed?" asked Sir Humphrey. "This is a national museum after all, funded by the taxpayer." "I suppose it might be considered." said the consultant. "After all, the LNER renamed a number of their locomotives after directors of the company, and even renamed one of them Dwight D Eisenhower." "That's excellent", said Sir Humphrey, "So that's settled then: let's look at renaming 4472. But how much will it cost? We can't spend too much, given the recent parliamentary expenses scandal." "Well," said the consultant, "why don't we just paint out the F'?"

Not Little Johnny this time! Cinderella was 75 years old. Having lived a good, long life with the now dead Prince, she sat happily in a rocking chair her front porch, watching the world go by with a cat called Alan for company. One sunny afternoon, the Fairy Godmother appeared out of nowhere. Startled, Cinderella said “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?” The Fairy godmother replied, “Well Cinderella, you have lived such a good wholesome life since we last met, that I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?” Cinderella is taken aback but overjoyed, so after some consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish - “I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension” Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned and Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said “Oh thank you Fairy godmother”. The Fairy Godmother replied “It is the least I could do. What does your heart desire for your second wish?” Cinderella looked down at her frail body and said “ I wish I was young and full of the beauty of youth again”. At once, her desired wish became reality and her beautiful, youthful visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years, and long forgotten vigour and vitality began to course through her very soul. Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke. “You have one more wish, what shall it be? After a short pause, Cinderella looked over at the frightened cat in the corner and said “ I wish you to transform Alan, my old cat, into a beautiful and handsome young man. Magically, Alan suddenly underwent a fundamental a change in his biological make up, and when the change was complete he stood before her, a boy so beautiful, the like of which she nor the world had ever seen. So fair, indeed, was Alan, that birds began to fall from the sky at his feet. The Fairy Godmother again spoke “ Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life” and with a blinding flash of bright blue light, she was gone. For a few eerie, quiet moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen. Then Alan walked over to where she sat transfixed in her golden rocking chair, and held her close in his muscular young arms. He leant in close to her head, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath, and into her ear whispered, “I bet you regret having my knackers chopped off now, don’t you?”.

You'd have though Little Johnny would have learnt to keep his mouth shut by now.......... A young pretty female school teacher had been telling her class about the value of being observant and said, "Now children, look at the clock; what does the clock have that I have too?" One little girl stood up and said, "It has a face." Another girl raised her hand and said, "It has hands." "Splendid," said the teacher, "now what has the clock that I haven't got?" After a long silence, little Johnny rose and said, " Miss , you ain't got no pendulum!"

And Little Johnny strikes once more!!!!!!! Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class, and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this. Johnny's hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he says. "Please explain, Johnny," replies the teacher. "Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the verandah. The neighbours' Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went "ffffffffff! ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!", and before he could say "F**K OFF!", the dog ate him!"

A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint (as they do!) when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?' The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.' So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river. The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this, swam over to the little lizard, helped him to the side, then asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?' The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink.. The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said, 'Hey Koala!' So the koala looked down at him and said, 'Bl**dy hell, How much water did you drink!?'

Little Johnny strikes again! Teacher: "Class, today's assignment is to spell and use the word 'DOUGH' in a sentence." "Jane, you go first" Jane: "Italians make pizza with dough.." Teacher: Very good, Jane... Now let's hear from Mary. Mary: "My brother makes things with play dough." Very good, Mary.. Little Johnny is waving his hand wildly. Teacher: "Yes, Johnny, do you have something constructive to add? (note the tone of condescension!) "My mom says my dad doesn't make enough dough, and he's bloody hopeless in bed, so she has to use a dill dough".

I would also be very interested in your kits. My big concern, however, is that I demand top quality slow running, and I'm an EM modeller. To get good slow running I use high ratio gearboxes such as the High Level Loadhauler Compact+ at 108:1, and the only way I see of being able to get this sort of drive train in a loco is by building the chassis myself. If you were to investigate the production of scale chassis as well as the Bachmann Percy chassis etc., I suspect your market place would become far wider.Of course, I could be wrong - it has been known! Phil

The European Union Commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu vrit and understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

A recent national survey of Canadians shows that residents of the Eastern side of the country have more frequent sex than those in the west. The survey found that in Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and Prince Edward Island, sexual activity peaks at an average 8.28 times per month, while in Quebec frequency drops to an average 7.78 couplings per month and continues to slowly drop the further west you head (if you’ll pardon the pun!) until one reaches British Columbia, where the average is 6.57. Those surveyed, however, had no cause for complaint. 75 per cent of the respondents said they are "satisfied" with their sex lives. The moral: Long after the Titanic, more men still go down in the North Atlantic than in the North Pacific.

A plane took off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!" Silence. Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger retorted: "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"

Not sure if it fits in the thread, as I wasn't so much listening but participating. I sang Evensong with Ely cathedral choir earlier today. Leighton responses, Jackson in G and Kodaly "Pange Lingua". Great music, great venue and a very mellow feeling, especially after a lovely drive home through the Cambridgeshire/Essex countryside with a setting sun. Phil

At first I thought this was a photo of real track and then Gordon tells us this is his way of modelling.Wow!!!!!! Phil

Thanks for the info about the gearbox for a Y7 - I've already got a Mashima 1015 and flywheel, and was thinking the Loadhauler compact would fit - I now know it does so will be on the 'phone to Chris Gibbon. Phil PS - Mick, the C7 looks good, and with a white metal body, should haul a good load as well. Any chance of some video when it's working for it's living?

In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as: "I've blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than "I've just b*ggered a 14 year old escort". The police still haven't seen the funny side, my lap top's been confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mother.

Yes - as it's smaller than the Y7, whatever you fitted in will also fit the Y7. Theoretically!!!!!! Phil

Only just found this topic and only seen the first page (the rest will have to wait till I get home and not at work!), but the quality is stunning. I find Stubby's sense of humour rather ironic, that he puts a poster on the back of the gents door exhorting workers to join the RMT "for a safer workplace" than make the gents look like it's just suffered a serious chemical war attack! Brilliant. Phil

Mick Which High Level gearbox did you use, please? I've got a Connoisseur kit to build and want to use a High Level 108:1 box with a Mashima 1015 motor, but have concerns about not fitting in the body, where yours obviously does. Thanks Phil

Thanks for this tip - the foam sorts another problem for me that is totally unrelated to model railways. Phil

My fellow club members tell me they use Really Useful 10L boxes - http://www.reallyusefulproducts.co.uk/uk/html/onlineshop/rub/b10_0litre.php One member also tells me that he makes inserts cut from the larger Staples desk top transport protection edging (with a partial cut inside each bend). I've looked on the Staples site and can't find that particular product, but I can guess what it's like. Hope this helps. Phil

Try this http://www.reallyusefulproducts.co.uk/uk/html/onlineshop/rub/b04_0litre.php unit - I believe they have no internal dividers so you can add dividers as you wish with cardboard. Several members of my club use Really Useful trays - I will try and find out exactly which ones they use. Phil

This thread brings back so many memories. My brother was a student at Leeds University and when he went back after time at home, I would go to Kings Cross to see him off, then I'd spend time watching the Deltics (and whatever else would be around) come in and out of the Cross, after which I'd go in to Kings Cross Models and spend my pocket money. As I grew older and started earning, I would make visits to Kings Cross just to watch the trains, and then I'd go across to the shop and spend some of my hard earned money. One of the items I bought that has an interesting story is this bus kit. I don't know exactly when I bought this, but I reckon it must have been in the late 70's. I wasn't totally au fait with building kits like this at the time, but a member of my club was a good builder and offered to make the kit for me. I didn't think a lot about this, and as time went on I moved on, so did he, and I forgot about the kit. Move on 30 years and I joined the club of which I'm now a member. Lo and behold, said gentleman is also a member of this club and when we realised who each other was, we chatted about our times at the first club and I suddenly remembered this kit. When I mentioned it, an eyebrow was raised, and a few weeks later, when we next met, I was presented with the box. With my modelling skills being far better today than they were 30 years ago, I suppose I'd better get on and finish the kit! Lastly, I totally agree about the Kemilway chassis for the Std 4 Mogul being good, I've still got one to build, along with a West Country Pacific chassis (which, being a GER modeller, I justify as I'll build it as 30054 Sir Archibald Sinclair, the WC Pacific that came to the GER lines in the loco exchange). Phil

Bright, frosty and sunny. Lovely. Off to St. Albans - after Christmas won't be spending too much!!!! Phil

Many years ago, when I was free and single, I used internet dating sites as one of many tools to find the right woman for me. One very interesting woman wrote to me and I replied, very tactfully (for me!) that she wouldn't be suitable for me as she hadn't capitalised any of the sentences in her message. Her reply was that I was a snob and I heard no more from her. Actually, in retrospect, I was rather glad about that. Old standards do matter, and one day the views of us oldies will be heard. Youngsters beware! Phil

Hi Jonathan That stock marking idea is a great one that I've also used - personally, my stock is all marked with bright purple lipstick (it's the cheapest bottle I could find in Boots), which explains the bottle that sits in my toolbox (and no, it's nothing to do with my proclivities! ) Phil