But discussing it in the open on the forum may help others who are having problems or are considering using irdots and you may get an answer to your problem from someone who has never even used them.
Before you get too deep into chips and power requirements, look at the simple common problems such as making sure the track, wheel treads and pickups are spotlessly clean and that there are no loose track joiners.
In theory you should be able to use any make of decoder in any make of loco using any make of controller, though you may find one or two exceptions in reality.
Has the OP perhaps got the new Unifrog points? That would explain why the underside of his points don't look like the youtube videos he refers to. The new Unifrog points have a "U" in the part number.
Take note that these are only for placing screws in position and getting the screw started. If you try to tighten screws with this tool, it will be damaged.
I can only find a list of conformance warrants, not compliance warrants. https://www.nmra.org/nmra-conformance-warrants
Confusingly, it says ......... to ensure that these products are in full compliance to NMRA requirements.
Not sure but having both is quite common. Bachmann have both on most of their locos, using up to 3 capacitors on the motor and a choke in series with each motor feed wire. I suppose they use whatever they need to use so that they pass the RF emissions requirements.
A choke (modern name is an inductor) is almost the exact opposite of a capacitor in electrical terms.
A capacitor blocks the flow of direct current but will allow alternating current to flow.
A choke (inductor) allows a steady direct current to flow but blocks alternating current.