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Kev_Lewis

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Status Updates posted by Kev_Lewis

  1. Kev_Lewis

    Must stop looking at Gauge 3.

    1. Tim V

      Tim V

      Then just stop!

    2. N15class

      N15class

      It is tempting isn't it!

  2. Kev_Lewis

    Dingleberries.

    1. 3 link

      3 link

      Frozen Dingleberries.

  3. Kev_Lewis

    To which she replied "I'm not sticking that in my mouth!".

    1. BoD

      BoD

      What was the question?

    2. MarkC

      MarkC

      Almost a Meatloaf moment there then...

  4. Kev_Lewis

    Driving in my car, looking at the rain, the only time I'm happy's when I play with my trains.

    1. great central

      great central

      Rotary ie. circle of trains? Or the prinz of cars?

  5. Kev_Lewis

    Let me outta this cheap B movie!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Claude_Dreyfus

      Claude_Dreyfus

      I'm rushing headlong....

    3. Pete 75C

      Pete 75C

      You're in the Handbuilt Track & Templot sub-forum, aren't you? Just click and you're free.

    4. Kev_Lewis

      Kev_Lewis

      Well spotted Claude. But it was probably more a reference to the Dapol 7mm 08 thread.

  6. Kev_Lewis

    Are you the Police? No ma'am, we're musicians.

    1. gwrrob

      gwrrob

      I have a Police record.Walking on the moon.

    2. 45059

      45059

      They sound like Ladykillers to me.

    3. Huw Griffiths

      Huw Griffiths

      I wonder how long it'll be before somebody says: "Don't stand so close to me"?

  7. Kev_Lewis

    Well that's my hearing ruined for a couple of days. Worth it though, great gig from Joe Bonamassa.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Andrew P

      Andrew P

      Lucky Man.

    3. Tim V

      Tim V

      What was that you said? No need to shout!

    4. Re6/6

      Re6/6

      Top guy.

  8. Kev_Lewis

    Death by hayfever.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Huw Griffiths

      Huw Griffiths

      Same here.

    3. New Haven Neil

      New Haven Neil

      Benadryl.

    4. Ian J.

      Ian J.

      My friend/landlord swears by nettle tea. From his sneezes though I'm not sure it works all *that* well.

  9. Kev_Lewis

    Girls, girls!!!!!

    1. Show previous comments  19 more
    2. Porcy Mane

      Porcy Mane

      So back to bricks. My brick loves me:

      Brick from Joseph Horatios Loves first brickworks.

    3. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      She does loves you Porcy and she just called me love (in a cockney accent!).

       

      As in, "You want a cuppa with that curry, love?".

      I said "Yes please, bird". And all is well in (my little) world.

    4. Porcy Mane

      Porcy Mane

      The Lurve Haters. (& Dookie on Drums)

      Or maybe it was this brick.

      Girls, Girls, Girls.

      Spaced out girls...

  10. Kev_Lewis

    But the rainbow has a beard.

  11. Kev_Lewis

    Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words 'I have a cunning plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?

    1. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      They certainly are!

    2. davefrk

      davefrk

      Turnips!

  12. Kev_Lewis

    I smell something fishy and I'm not talking about the contents of Baldrick's apple crumble.

  13. Kev_Lewis

    Not to worry, my Lord. The arrow didn't in fact, enter my body. No. By a thousand to one chance, my willy got in the way.

    1. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Good Lord. It can be your lucky willy.

    2. RJS1977

      RJS1977

      It's only a flesh wound...

    3. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Years from now, I'll show it to my grandchildren.

  14. Kev_Lewis

    Can someone please tell the dude in the cloak, carrying a scythe, to keep his boney finger in his pocket for the rest of the year!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. DougN

      DougN

      OH all right just stay away from the salmon moose!

    3. AndrewC

      AndrewC

      maybe he can do a guest appearance on the Kardashians.

       

    4. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      I bet he drinks Carling Black Label ...

  15. Kev_Lewis

    Thanks, Bridesmaid. Like the beard. Gives me something to hang on to.

    1. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Good old Flash. Things'll certainly liven up now he's back. Won't they, Flash? .....Flash?

  16. Kev_Lewis

    Now I've got my lovely fire I'm happy as a Frenchman who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers.

    1. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Baldrick, would you join me in the vestibule?

    2. Brit70053

      Brit70053

      And who wears the trousers in your household ?

    3. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      Realign inertial dampers!

  17. Kev_Lewis

    If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Lord Flashheart

      Lord Flashheart

      That's my line!!!

    3. bcnPete

      bcnPete

      I know what I like and I like what I see - Woof!

    4. Zero Gravitas

      Zero Gravitas

      I've got a plan - and it's as hot as my pants!

  18. Kev_Lewis

    We're in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun.

    1. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      We are in trouble.

    2. locoholic

      locoholic

      I have a cunning plan...

  19. Kev_Lewis

    A war hasn't been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, High Chief of all the Vikings, accidentally ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Mad McCann

      Mad McCann

      Sounds pretty normal for the MoD...

    3. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      "Hey. Hey. Any girl who wants to tie herself to my railings ans suffer a JET movement gets my vote!"

    4. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Olaf nearly got away with that though, cause Nodbright of Yodel delivered them.

  20. Kev_Lewis

    'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?

    1. SHMD

      SHMD

      ..except the SHIFT, CAPS LOCK, ALT, CTRL, NUM LOCK...

    2. big jim

      big jim

      been watching the simpsons again

    3. Kev_Lewis

      Kev_Lewis

      Well done Jim. All my status updates for the last week or so have been Homer quotes.

  21. Kev_Lewis

    If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

    1. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Yep, yet another lottery readout that tells you that have maintained your 100% perfect record....of not winning a groat.

  22. Kev_Lewis

    Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene’.

    1. DonB

      DonB

      If the "scene" includes back-scenes, you could make a Killing!

    2. BoD

      BoD

      You're making a scene

  23. Kev_Lewis

    To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

    1. Londontram

      Londontram

      I'll drink to that

    2. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Horrocksford

    3. DougN

      DougN

      Hic!

  24. Kev_Lewis

    Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Michael Delamar

      Michael Delamar

      Release the robotic Richard Simmons

    3. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      Snyder

    4. 45059

      45059

      what about a pointed stick?

  25. Kev_Lewis

    It was like that when I got here!

    1. The Blue Streak

      The Blue Streak

      It was alright when it left here !!

    2. DonB

      DonB

      I-

      I've never been there, so it wasn't me!

       

       

    3. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Your own fault for not putting it away.

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