chris p bacon

I lead a sheltered life.I thought my local Screwfix was a dating agency.

Problem: Jumbo Frozen Lasagna, and I only want to cook half and put the other half back in the freezer. Solution: A 12" blade engineer's hacksaw. Job done, though a coarser blade would've been good. I did give the blade a wipe with IPA first....

My life is complete, Lorraine Kelly replied to one of my tweets!

is heading back down to 65kg. Destination: 60kg.

is heading back down to 65kg. Destination: 60kg.

Magnum, P.I.

has had a win on the Premium Bonds, 27 years after buying said Bonds.

Off to Bodmin for a train ride to finish the holiday...

has had a win on the Premium Bonds, 27 years after buying said Bonds.

The dog is going to have the right hump when he finds out i'm using his tins of food to weigh down cork whilst its glueing.

Is it just me or have Magnums got smaller?

is watching "The Danish Girl". Eddie Redmayne makes such a convincing woman, it's quite scary....

I understand that the price of Avocados is on the up again.

Dried-on grease.

Godfather trilogy watched back to back this weekend - can't believe I waited so long to see them...

The Foundation for Law and Government

Girlfriend decided to rearrange my modelling room while I was at work. We're not talking at the moment.

When you're looking for a timber merchant in Wimbledon called 'Champion', googling 'Wimbledon Champion' isn't really very helpful.

4 hours in A+E after putting my back out lifting a heavy box of CDs, had to call in sick, first time in years!

By the Rivers of Babylon / There we sat down...

Suddenly remembers why we had a whirlpool bath fitted at home ..... aah so nose on my aching limbs :-)

Would it be possible to claim on my Go Compare policy for the mental trauma caused by the annoying moustachioed tw@t !!!

is wondering whether HMRC makes it deliberately difficult to claim Taper Relief on gifts. There are no forms available for it.

is bored of winning..

The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness.