monkeysarefun Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) Pet Shop advice, Australian style. Please watch this video carefully before petting. Cassowaries are surprisingly short, and hang out in the dark bits of the rain forest so are difficult to spot. I did walk right past one outside Cairns without seeing it until the guy I was with pointed it out. Luckily it didn;t go me cos I didn't have my Roman centurian shield style steel plate handy! But - that same trip did give me a funny story about another of our native animals - the Golden Retriever. If you haven't seen this animal its about 3 feet high and is a golden kind of colour and has a call that we call 'barking'. Anyway, I was working at the RAAF base in Townsville and a group of us went into town to get lunch. I waited in the car which was parked outside a chemists shop. Outside the shop was a variety of wheelchairs, walkers, and trolleys, all chained together to stop the local hoodlums and IT contractors on lunch breaks from stealing them. A lady walked up with one of our native Golden Retrievers on a leash (you can have them as pets, unlike Cassowaries). She tied her Golden Retrievers leash to one of the wheel chairs and went into the shop. The Golden Retriever decided to follow her, and as all the wheel chairs, walkers etc were chained together, but not chained to anything else, it dragged the whole lot into the chemists behind it. It was funny. Or it would have been if I wasn't aware that the Golden Retriever has enough venom to kill a conversation. Edited September 23, 2017 by monkeysarefun Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Would you need to be a Paul Hogan wannabe to survive the Australian Outback ? When Crocodile Dundee first came out over here, Scotland's Scout movement swapped their toggles for Bowie Knives ( then sung Kumbaya and hung pictures of Linda Kozlowski just wearing a hair clip inside their pants ) Allan. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) Cassowaries are surprisingly short, and hang out in the dark bits of the rain forest so are difficult to spot. I did walk right past one outside Cairns without seeing it until the guy I was with pointed it out. Luckily it didn;t go me cos I didn't have my Roman shield style steel plate handy! But - that same trip did give me a funny story about another of our native animals - the Golden Retriever. If you haven't seen this animal its about 3 feet high and is a golden kind of colour and has a call that we call 'barking'. Anyway, I was working at the RAAF base in Townsville and a group of us went into town to get lunch. I waited in the car which was parked outside a chemists shop. Outside the shop was a variety of wheelchairs, walkers, and trolleys, all chained together to stop the local hoodlums and IT contractors on lunch breaks from stealing them. A lady walked up with one of our native Golden Retrievers on a leash (you can have them as pets, unlike Cassowaries). She tied her Golden Retrievers leash to one of the wheel chairs and went into the shop. The Golden Retriever decided to follow her, and as all the wheel chairs, walkers etc were chained together, but not chained to anything else, it dragged the whole lot into the chemists behind it. It was funny. Or it would have been if I wasn't aware that the Golden Retriever has enough venom to kill a conversation. We had a Golden Retriever puppy once but our car ate it. It's a back alley gang cat that only tolerates us because we feed it on Golden Retriever puppies. Here it is after a feed of Hienz canned Retriever Puppy The girl holding it is the trainer. Allan. Edited September 23, 2017 by allan downes Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeysarefun Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Paul Hogan and Steve Irwin are like Fosters beer - we send it overseas and keep the good stuff for ourselves. We dont; send you blokes the good stuff cos we know you won't read the instructions on the back: IN the same vein, the TV knockabout Aussie bloke we also keep to ourselves is.... Russell Coight. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeysarefun Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 We had a Golden Retriever puppy once but our car ate it. It was back alley gang cat that only tolerated us because we fed it on Golden Retriever puppies. Allan. First you take our Budgies, and now you take our Golden Retrievers! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Paul Hogan and Steve Irwin are like Fosters beer - we send it overseas and keep the good stuff for ourselves. We dont; send you blokes the good stuff cos we know you won't read the instructions on the back: beer.jpg IN the same vein, the TV knockabout Aussie bloke we also keep to ourselves is.... Russell Coight. Absolutely bloody hilarious ! I mean, that bit when he tries to hang that bag in a tree and the bough breaks. Has to be an all time classic ! Allan. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 First you take our Budgies, and now you take our Golden Retrievers! Nah. We had 'em first. They were used to hunt down anything that could give you a nasty bite hence why we ain't got any dodgy snakes or mental Cassowaries though we do have a close female cousin that inhabits our Tesco's Check out aisles. Anyway, and from what I've read on here Mate, we don't want anything imported from Australia - Sheila's excluded of course. Allan. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeysarefun Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) We had a Golden Retriever puppy once but our car ate it. It's a back alley gang cat that only tolerates us because we feed it on Golden Retriever puppies. Here it is after a feed of Hienz canned Retriever Puppy The girl holding it is the trainer. Allan. IF only you guys were made aware that Golden Retreivers are the only natural food source for our endangered wombats. Please choose Golden Retriever friendly pet food when you do your shopping! Edited September 23, 2017 by monkeysarefun 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeysarefun Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Absolutely bloody hilarious ! I mean, that bit when he tries to hang that bag in a tree and the bough breaks. Has to be an all time classic ! Allan. Allan mate - its not meant to be hilarious. .. Its an Australian documentary. There is a whole heap of others there on youtube. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 IF only you guys were made aware that our Golden Retreivers are the only natural food source for our endangered wombats. wombat-pic.JPG Please choose Golden Retriever friendly pet food when you do your shopping! They're on offer over here as part of the Tesco end of season barbecue sale. One for the price of two or two for the price of two. Typical Tesco promotion. Allan. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeysarefun Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 They're on offer over here as part of the Tesco end of season barbecue sale. One for the price of two or two for the price of two. Typical Tesco promotion. Allan. Stop it with this Tescos stuff! You need to Aussie it up with a weekend trip to Bunnings and have a sausage sandwich. https://www.bunnings.co.uk/ There must be one within a 10 hours drive from you, which is how far we go to buy milk. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Just for you, Monkeysarefun. Found it on the web. Rare pic of Pipers Mead. Allan 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Stop it with this Tescos stuff! You need to Aussie it up with a weekend trip to Bunnings and have a sausage sandwich. https://www.bunnings.co.uk/ There must be one within a 10 hours drive from you, which is how far we go to buy milk. Wouldn't it be cheaper to keep a cow ? No. Don't answer that... Allan Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeysarefun Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) Just for you, Monkeysarefun. Found it on the web. Rare pic of Pipers Mead. Allan Hey thanks for that Allan, Mullie etc will be jealous! My dad was the actual railway modelling fan, I just liked making the buildings,which worked out well and meant that your RM articles were genuinely a highlight of my formative years. Dad had the Railway Modeller on subscription and to see the buff envelope sticking out of the mail box as we came home from school was a source of excitement - hoping that there would be an article in it by you. My lame sister also subscribed to a macrame magazine so too often I'd excitedly rip the envelope open to find that it was for her.. There are some memories that are burned into your mind I reckon, A big one for me is coming home from the dentist feeling all sorry for myself because I had 3 fillings ( and I reckon that the dentist just made ###### up to get money to pay for his Porsche and secretary with big boobs which made my dad keep going back there despite me and my brother and sisters continually needing lots of suspicious fillings) Anyway, I came home with a mouth full of heavy metal and the Railway Modeller was in the letter box, and there was an article about a castle you made for a Dracula film. I think you used a lot of Peco Modelling clay or whatever it was called? I got my dad to mail order a heap of tins over here, they all went hard in the heat, though I must have kept one for sentimental purposes cos I found it in a cupboard about 3 months ago, It was hard as so I tossed it out. Edited September 23, 2017 by monkeysarefun Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) Thanks for that ego booster, Monkeysarefun. Anyway, earlier it was mentioned that we do have a poisonous snake - the adder - but the bite comes more as a surprise than anything else as this bloke readily illustrates during a public meeting to promote that as from today, all Tesco check out girls will be non venomous though the food products are still under review. He died two hours later however but not of the snake bite but as the result of a very venomous Tesco fish cake sandwich which have now been temporarily removed from the shelves. Edited September 23, 2017 by allan downes Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 23, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 23, 2017 Hopefully if the little fat man with the funny hair sees this, he won't send his bombs this way as he will think we'all succumb to the local wildlife...........ho hum!! Hope to hear from you all in a months time Mike I think he's scared that Australia will retaliate by sending over a selection of wildlife. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmrspaul Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) Another of those fine, welcome to Australia signs, on the main sea front at the major resort city of Cairns Paul Edited September 23, 2017 by hmrspaul 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
autocoach Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Perhaps I will go to New Zealand instead...... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRman Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 Paul Hogan and Steve Irwin are like Fosters beer - we send it overseas and keep the good stuff for ourselves. We dont; send you blokes the good stuff cos we know you won't read the instructions on the back: beer.jpg IN the same vein, the TV knockabout Aussie bloke we also keep to ourselves is.... Russell Coight. Don't forget another Glenn Robbins character, Uncle Arthur. At the school I work in, one of the teachers is a dead ringer for Glenn Robbins, and it has been remarked upon more than once by new staff coming into the school. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
railsquid Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 Watch out for the telegraph poles as well, they'll go for your legs. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-09-23/man-lucky-to-be-alive-after-trapped-under-telegraph-pole/8977746 I post this only because it's my brother, and it seems to have generated a disporportionate amount of news coverage (there was even a TV news helicopter at one point apparently), which leads me to think there must have been a seasonal lull in poisonous alligator bear attacks or something. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 Watch out for the telegraph poles as well, they'll go for your legs. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-09-23/man-lucky-to-be-alive-after-trapped-under-telegraph-pole/8977746 I post this only because it's my brother, and it seems to have generated a disporportionate amount of news coverage (there was even a TV news helicopter at one point apparently), which leads me to think there must have been a seasonal lull in poisonous alligator bear attacks or something. I counted 18 guys round that pole and that's about 10 short of what the council sends out over here to fill in a pot hole. Pleased to hear that your brother's OK though. Allan 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 (edited) See in our papers that Shane Warne's took up boxing. Allan. Edited September 24, 2017 by allan downes 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeysarefun Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 (edited) See in our papers that Shane Warne's took up boxing. Allan. Even we acknowledge that he is a bit of a tool. but that first ball to Mike Gatting will forever be his Get Out Of Jail Free card. Edited September 24, 2017 by monkeysarefun Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 Even we acknowledge that he is a bit of a tool. but that first ball to Mike Gatting will forever be his Get Out Of Jail Free card. Yeh, he was certainly a brilliant bowler and a right character to go with it and well loved over here - as are all Ozie's ! Allan. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold ikks Posted September 24, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 24, 2017 Warne was an absolutely brilliant spin bowler......but that's where it has ended, a bloody dick of a bloke. I cannot understand why he is still given so much credence here in Oz, but then you look at Wayne Carey, Sam Newman and many others, great players at whichever sport they played but think they can do what they like no matter what. I can't stand the attitude. Mike 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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