It's a mouse, It's a MOUSE!

[SHMD]

Last night the sanctity of my shed was shattered with SWMBOs crys of “A mouse! A Mouse!”

 

“Come quick, A MOUSE!! QUIeeecK!” continued to pierce its way up the garden.

I nearly dropped my can at the sudden intrusion to my peace and contemplation!

But being the “man of the house” it obviously falls on my shoulders to deal with all that nature can throw at the domestic castle, that is called home, and that obviously includes things of a rodent disposition.

Besides, what an opportunity to show off my prowess as a skilled and resourceful protector, provider and hunter! (Previous perils had included spiders, slugs(!), shadows, noises, feelings, Channel 4, my socks and Council Tax forms.)

So I sets off down the garden path at a canter not really believing that a mouse was involved at all, as in 20 years of being domiciled there, I had never even seen evidence of mouse activity let alone a live one scampering playfully about the place.

 

On entering the house SWMBO helpfully, if not calmly, pointed at the lounge declaring “There, THERE.”

This must have been a fearsome fellow as SWMBO was not risking being in the same room as the beast.

“There. There – under the chair!” Came more helpful pointers from the safety of the kitchen.

The sofa chair was lifted effortlessly out of the way, now that the adrenalin had kicked in, and lo and behold, there was the fellow travelling at Mach 2 between where the chair had been and the corner of the room.

 

“Hah! Gotcha now” I proclaimed loudly to reassure the wife.

“Don't kill it! Don't kill it” was the near instant reply.

But by this time the said mouse was approaching Mach 3, and with me seemingly moving in slow motion, the mouse started to get braver with each circuit, testing me and my resolve, for escape routes and obvious weaknesses.

“And don't use your hands!” came a new rule to the game limiting my already limited resources.

“Fine.” And a quick glance around, at what I could use instead, was all that the mouse needed and it shot past, between me and the wall, at Mach 4.

“Soddin-eck!”

It was behind the sofa but the little sod had, by now, got the measure of me and with the first movement of the sofa it fare flew into the kitchen to renewed unhelpful shrieking from SWMBO with, possibly, with some feet stamping.

The chase was not yet over but clearly I was losing and losing badly, and what's worse she could tell and was informing me, and the neighbours, of the fact. But in my defence, it was blatantly obviously that this mouse was smarter than your average mouse!

And with one last burst of speed, it was gone! Nothing. Game over. Kaput!

With a “Why did you let it do that?” ringing in my ears, I stared at the hole in disbelief almost wishing that the little blighter would reappear with its front paws by its ears and it pulling a face at me with its tongue out.

“Bvgger.”

 

It had taken mere seconds but that was enough for me to lose another chunk of self respect, in the eyes of SWMBO, and to cause devastation to the lounge.

The one consolation is that there is only one hole where the mouse could have come from AND it was unfamiliar with the rest of the house.

Still, I was not happy at being outwitted by a mouse, and even with the scores at:- Mouse 1 Me 0; I was determined to press ahead with Plan B immediately.

 

Plan B involved me fishing out two unused mouse traps, from me shed, and setting them up near the 'bolt hole'.

Suitable bait was provided in the form of a corner of a cheese salad sandwich, (“No butter - as we don't want any long term harm do we?”!)

Small pieces of cheese, bread, and even lettuce, were placed on the delicate, fragile hair triggers and the traps placed very carefully down.

Everything was then left to calm down, and it did, except for some mild background berating from SWMBO. We eventually retired to bed with me in confident mood that very soon we would hear the sharp snap of a trap being well and truly spring!

Nothing.

More nothing, which then continued to happen.

 

Next morning SWMBO offers up to my groggily awakening ears “Its gone.”

“Mmmph. Wha.. What's gone?”

“The food! Its gone from the traps!”

“What? No mouse?”

Again, not believing the situation, I leapt up and went to investigate. Sure enough, the traps were still there, ready for the slightest breath to set them off, but with no bait on either of them. The mouse had even ate the lettuce!

Not wanting to be outsmarted again I put Plan C into operation and made a start on re-baiting the traps, but this time ensuring that the cheese was well and truly stuck/pressed into to the triggers.

 

And that's how it was left this morning with the scores currently at :-

 

Mouse 2, Useless Husband 0.

 

 

Kev.

[PhilJ W]

Ever thought of getting a cat?

[gordon s]

Great story.... :D

 

Not that we're plagued with them, but our cats occasionally bring home a live present. Best way to catch them is with a small fishing net. The sort of thing that kids use at the seaside.

[Kev_Lewis]

Try baiting the traps with chocolate or cake. Mice like sweet stuff more than cheese.

[Andy Y]

[Coombe Barton]

ROTFLMAO

[Trofimow]

Excellent story!

 

I feel your pain - we had one that used to pilfer nuts from the bird feeder and secret them in hidden caches all over the railway room.

 

Once we eventually trapped and removed it, an ultrasonic pest scarer has proved effective in keeping the varmints at bay.

 

Alan

[Xerces Fobe2]

Put a Mouse Mat outside the backdoor IT works!

 

XF

[Edwin_m]

Your story reminded me of this from the deep dark recesses of the brain:

 

I saw a MOUSE! Where? There on the stair. Where on the stair? Right there!

A little mouse with clogs on, well I declare, go-ing clip clip-ety clop on the stair. Oh yeah.

[Pacific231G]

Ever thought of getting a cat?

 

So much more humane than a mouse trap NOT but the wifely cries of "don't kill it don't kill it" would certainly be treated with utter feline contempt.

 

 

Andy I love the Nolan's Cheese ad. Apparently the longevity of the traditional design is that though people have invented better mouse traps the old ones look so crude and cheap that people are happy enough to throw them away complete with victim.

[DIW]

Rodents are a fact of rural life round our way.

 

I find that by baiting mouse traps with mouse poison and rat traps with rat poison, it doesn't matter if I am left with bait-less traps in the morning - I got 'em either way!

[Dagworth]

I find pork scratchings are very effective bait in my traps. SWMBO keeps guinea pigs and the mice love to get into or under the hutches on the patio so mice are a regular problem here. Sometimes they get into the house, but it takes a very suicidal mouse to enter with five cats ready and waiting, those that try it don't last long. My indoor cats are very good mousers!

 

Andi

[petethemole]

If you really don't want to kill it/them (rarely is there one only) get a humane trap and bait it with peanut butter; irresistible! When your trap has worked you need to take the inmate at least 1/4 mile from the house before releasing it, otherwise it will probably find its way back to the peanut butter cafe. If the mouse is in the trap for too long it will probably die of shock/stress, but as SWMBO won't be there when you open the trap, who's to know? And you'll have to wash and disinfect it afterwards. Or, get a cat, preferably a better mouser than my avatar; although Tigger has a few kills to his credit, the mice under next door's shed are still about.

Pete

[colin penfold]

Ever thought of getting a cat?

 

Seen hundreds more mice, rats, rabbits, squirrells and even one VERY angry mole on several days consecutively since I got a cat 16 years ago (yep, he's still at it)

 

Cats don't, in my experience, reduce the numbers - they multiply them considerably!

 

On the subject of traps try these humane ones, much harder to get the food without getting caught http://www.amazon.co.uk/Procter-Bros-Ltd-PSTT-Pest-Stop/dp/B00133QS3G/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1347651195&sr=8-4 No connection other than satisfied cat owner!

[skipepsi]

I am sorry for the squeamish but I believe in permanently getting rid of mice and chocolate spread on the spike and the corners of the platform is a winner. To dispose of the body just hold over the bin and pull the spring back....

[pH]

Should the OP not have been posted in the 'Getting close to wildlife' topic?

[SHMD]

Thanks to all for the many imaginative and useful tips.

 

Alas, again, my evening was disturbed but this time with SWMBO banging from the upstairs window.

(Apparantly, a new PB was set for the "quickest up the stairs" event!)

 

So, with confidence dented, I once again set off towards the house to inspect the traps.

 

Hah! Score me 1 - Yesss. Hah, take that.

And I don't see you doing any press ups - Hah YES!

 

 

Only trouble is, me and SWMBO, both agree this ain't the same mouse! - Doh!

 

Kev.

[SHMD]

Should the OP not have been posted in the 'Getting close to wildlife' topic?

 

 

Perhaps now it should!

 

Kev.

[AndrewC]

Funniest read in ages. Thanks Kev.

 

We've only had the one mouse about 2 years ago. Cold night, SWMBO opens the door to take out the rubbish. Poor half frozen thing scurrys in. Gets about 3' inside the door and whump! Our old cat boB is on him faster than a fast thing at a fast convention. I managed to separate the 2 before the cat tore it to bits. Mouse 0 - 1 boB. (he spells his name backwards) Funny thing is boB started sleeping by the front door for the next several days waiting for a new playmate.

[newbryford]

Wandered into the hallway tonight to find nearl 10 month old serial killer kitten cat with it's latest victim. A rabbit about 2/3 it's size. I would've loved to have seen him dragging it through the catflap......

 

As usual, wife and daughter wouldn't touch it.

 

Cheers,

Mick

[Horsetan]

Ever thought of getting a cat?

 

I'm not offering myself for that job and, besides, I deal with alcoholic prey.....

[coachmann]

We had a mouse that gave us the run around for weeks. Couldn't find where the damned thing was bolting though. One night I realised it was making for the tumble dryer so I carried the dryer into the back garden and then went back for Tiger the cat while Mrs coach stood on a buffet holding a torch. Said cat watched me spook the mouse into landing on the grass whereupon Tiger ran into the kitchen and stood by his food dish. I walked back to the kitchen picked the cat up and kicked it over next doors wall, then went across the lawn and stamped on the mouse. After carrying the heavy dryer back into the kitchen, guess what, I was the bad guy! Next day the cat brought the mouses bum and tail into the kitchen, the rest having been eaten.... Bellend!

[Baby Deltic]

I can relate to your tale of woe about the sheer speed of a mouse on the loose. I have found that the worst thing you can do is take a live mouse off a cat. Usually it shoots off under a door and you can't catch the little critter. The only solution then is to lock the cat in the same room as the mouse and let the cat catch it. If the cat came in with a live mouse, I used to put the cat out with the mouse in its mouth. There would usually be a crunching sound followed by a few meows and the mouse would be gone.

[gordon s]

My good lady has spoken and here's her tip for the day. Use a wellington boot. No, not to stamp on the blighter, but to hold so that he runs into the boot. You can then pick him up unharmed and take him to safer climes...

[Peter Beckett]

Heres a pic of my Dad in 1950 getting the mouse (meece) problem sorted.

 

Peter