RMweb Gold Stubby47 Posted June 30, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 30, 2018 Well to be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking into this matter in a different perspective and without being condemning of one's view's and by trying to make it objectified, and by considering each and every one's valid opinion, I honestly believe that I honestly completely forgot what I was going to say. Welcome to middle age... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katwigan Posted June 30, 2018 Share Posted June 30, 2018 Well to be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking into this matter in a different perspective and without being condemning of one's view's and by trying to make it objectified, and by considering each and every one's valid opinion, I honestly believe that I honestly completely forgot what I was going to say. Ah, Good morning Sir Humphrey 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozexpatriate Posted June 30, 2018 Share Posted June 30, 2018 Good morning What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Two_sugars Posted June 30, 2018 Share Posted June 30, 2018 What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on? Have you been on the pipeweed again? John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozexpatriate Posted June 30, 2018 Share Posted June 30, 2018 (edited) Have you been on the pipeweed again? And a very fine morning for a pipe of tobacco out of doors, into the bargain. (And me a non-smoker.) Edited June 30, 2018 by Ozexpatriate 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manna Posted June 30, 2018 Share Posted June 30, 2018 Well to be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking into this matter in a different perspective and without being condemning of one's view's and by trying to make it objectified, and by considering each and every one's valid opinion, I honestly believe that I honestly completely forgot what I was going to say. G'Day Folks You really need to be in Parliament, your a natural................. manna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted July 1, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 1, 2018 After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic's swimming pool was still full. Yes, but was it the same water? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheesysmith Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 More important question is was there some Germans towels on the chairs round the pool? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porcy Mane Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 More important question is was there some Germans towels on the chairs round the pool? Probably; and I bet they had been put there before the ship went down the slipway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted July 1, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 1, 2018 Useless information time. By all accounts, a swimming pool is the safest place to be in a tsunami. Mike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Kylestrome Posted July 1, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 1, 2018 Did someone mention Sir Humphrey? Still good (and probably accurate) after all these years. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted July 1, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 1, 2018 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 Beijing Hotel Brochure A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed.Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English……….Getting There:Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests. The hotel:This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We, of course, are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self. The Restaurant:Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you. Your Room:Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! . You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts. BedYour bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers. Above all:When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium melmerby Posted July 1, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 1, 2018 (edited) Probably; and I bet they had been put there before the ship went down the slipway! This was once considered to be one of those urban legends, however I remember being in a Hotel (Thailand, I think) and was surprised that every morning, early, when looking out of the bedroom window all the chairs around the pool had German guest's towels on them. One night I awoke in the middle of the night because it was too hot and looked out of the window. It was still dark but the towels were already there! Did they have some sort of rota and take it in turns? I.e did one of their party each day put all the towels out in the middle of the night? Up until then I had really noticed it as I didn't frequent the pool and took it to be just a joke but at every hotel afterwards noticed it happened! Keith Edited July 1, 2018 by melmerby 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Vistisen Posted July 1, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 1, 2018 This was once considered to be one of those urban legends, however I remember being in a Hotel (Thailand, I think) and was surprised that every morning, early, when looking out of the bedroom window all the chairs around the pool had German guest's towels on them. One night I awoke in the middle of the night because it was too hot and looked out of the window. It was still dark but the towels were already there! Did they have some sort of rota and take it in turns? I.e did one of their party each day put all the towels out in the middle of the night? Up until then I had really noticed it as I didn't frequent the pool and took it to be just a joke but at every hotel afterwards noticed it happened! Keith Danes do the same thing. But I went to a Spa where there was a swimming pool surrounded by sunbeds. Here there was a notice that any unattended towels would be removed and sold with proceeds going to charity in reception. They did too. I saw a male attendant who I certainly would not pick an argument with wander round every 15 minutes and the results of his collection disappeared into a locked office. About 10 minutes later they were available for sale at reception! 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangoman69 Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 Proof that woman do things just to start an argument. My misses rang me at work today and said "I've not had time to start tea,do you fancy going out for some". "yeah that sounds good" I replied. When I got home from the restaurant there she was sat at the kitchen table with a face like thunder. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanguard 5374 Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 Seen this doing the rounds, will have to adapt it for exhibitions. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manna Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 G'Day Folks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graeme3300 Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 With apologies to 'The Eurhythmics' . . . 'Sweet dreams are made of . . . ' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graeme3300 Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium melmerby Posted July 2, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 2, 2018 G'Day Folks Bit like a line from Fred Wedlock's song (Oldest Swinger in Town): "When it takes you all night to do, what you used to do all night." Keith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Marlin Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Beijing Hotel Brochure A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English………. Getting There: Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests. The hotel: This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We, of course, are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self. The Restaurant: Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you. Your Room: Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! . You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts. Bed Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers. Above all: When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it. This seems like a rip-off of the wonderful 'Letters from Tyrolean Landlords' performed by the incomparable Gerard Hoffnung ("Gerard, after my father; Hoffnung...after the Gerard"): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iHCMwA7n7I Glorious stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Two_sugars Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Bit like a line from Fred Wedlock's song (Oldest Swinger in Town): "When it takes you all night to do, what you used to do all night." Keith Can't remember . . . . John 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Kylestrome Posted July 2, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 2, 2018 (edited) This seems like a rip-off of the wonderful 'Letters from Tyrolean Landlords' performed by the incomparable Gerard Hoffnung ("Gerard, after my father; Hoffnung...after the Gerard"):https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iHCMwA7n7I Glorious stuff. “There is a French widow in every room ................ .................affording delightful prospects.” Alas, he died too young and there’ll never be another like him. Edited July 2, 2018 by Kylestrome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graeme3300 Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Third try to include a jpg attachment!!! With apologies to 'The Eurythmics' - 'Sweet dreams are made of . . .' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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