RMweb Gold Budgie Posted January 24, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 24, 2021 16 minutes ago, Tankerman said: - Why do you have to "put in your two cents worth", but it's only a "penny.for your thoughts"? Because Americans call a 1-cent coin a penny. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted January 24, 2021 Share Posted January 24, 2021 15 minutes ago, Budgie said: Because Americans call a 1-cent coin a penny. But that doesn't explain the fact that your input is worth twice what someone will pay for that thought process! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymw Posted January 24, 2021 Share Posted January 24, 2021 buyer's market, and most people think they are cleverer than they are. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted January 24, 2021 Share Posted January 24, 2021 18 minutes ago, Budgie said: 36 minutes ago, Tankerman said: - Why do you have to "put in your two cents worth", but it's only a "penny, for your thoughts"? That's because thoughts are worth "ten a penny" and the mark-up is massive, whereas putting in, requires action and consequently more expensive. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted January 24, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 24, 2021 51 minutes ago, Tankerman said: On a miserable day of snow and cold I found this while deleting some old email files, it might raise a smile or two. THINGS TO PONDER - Can you cry under water? Yes. - How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? I think you are assassinated if the person who killed you is less important than you. - Why do you have to "put in your two cents worth", but it's only a "penny.for your thoughts"? Because of the exchange rate Where's that extra penny going? Not in my direction, I can guarantee you that! - Why does a round pizza come in a square box? 'Cos it would be daft to put it in a triangular box. - What disease did cured ham actually have? Doesn't matter, it's cured. - How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Because humanity is stupid, but ambitious,. - Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours? Becuase they don't know the difference between babies and logs. - If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Of course it is, what is wrong with you? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Becuase movies are bigger. - Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? See moon landing answer - Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Because it's sexier to become naked than to be naked. - Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Dunno. - Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crispy black, which no human being will eat? Because they can. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Yes, but only slowly and respectfully. - If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? See Moon landing - Why do people point to their wrist when asking the time, but don't point to their crotch when asking where the bathroom is? Because nobody wants to be Michael Jackson. - Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Who care's they're dogs and not real anyway. - If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME rubbish, why didn't he just buy dinner? Despite him not being human, or actually existing, refer to Moon landing - If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Oily babies, of course. - If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? The Welsh word for carrot is moron. This is completely irrelevant and I'm just showing off that I knew that. - Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Yes, but a different scan. - Why did you just try singing the two songs above? I didn't - Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your a**e? and a solenoid when it's in an old car? Dunno. - Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? Yes. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manna Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 G'Day Folks 3 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 (edited) 7 hours ago, Tankerman said: - Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? - Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Yes. Because it's by some bloke called Mozart..... Based on an old European tune. You can tell that list was American BTW. No one cares about Gilligan's Island over here. It was shown in the 1960s and cancelled half way through. Then shown again in the 1970s and was still a flop. ISTR they tried again on one of the cable/satellite channels. Edited January 25, 2021 by Steamport Southport 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted January 25, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 25, 2021 What a waste of toilet paper! https://www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/burning-ferociously-huge-truck-fire-closes-eastern-freeway-at-doncaster-20210125-p56wma.html 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidB-AU Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 5 hours ago, kevinlms said: What a waste of toilet paper! https://www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/burning-ferociously-huge-truck-fire-closes-eastern-freeway-at-doncaster-20210125-p56wma.html I was personally stuck in the traffic jam behind this for around 90 min! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted January 25, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 25, 2021 20 minutes ago, DavidB-AU said: I was personally stuck in the traffic jam behind this for around 90 min! No sh!t? Mike. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidB-AU Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 47 minutes ago, Enterprisingwestern said: No sh!t? Not with all that toilet paper up in smoke! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium melmerby Posted January 25, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 25, 2021 21 hours ago, Giles said: We are not in our first flush of youth, but with the arrival of snow this morning, my wife decided that a snowman had to be built. By herself. Why does he/she have a fly swatter? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymw Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 1 hour ago, melmerby said: Why does he/she have a fly swatter? to keep away the penguins and gnus. 2 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted January 25, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 25, 2021 10 hours ago, kevinlms said: What a waste of toilet paper! https://www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/burning-ferociously-huge-truck-fire-closes-eastern-freeway-at-doncaster-20210125-p56wma.html If it’s that inflammable, I’m not shoving any more of that stuff up me! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 43 minutes ago, The Johnster said: If it’s that inflammable, I’m not shoving any more of that stuff up me! Quite sure that image is going to haunt me for the rest of the day! Thanks for sharing... 1 4 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted January 25, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 25, 2021 The real question is what caused it to brew up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold PaulRhB Posted January 25, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 25, 2021 1 hour ago, J. S. Bach said: The real question is what caused it to brew up. Stuck brakes usually, unfortunately for him when the heat was on and he was in the s### the one thing he needed was creating the heat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted January 25, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 25, 2021 2 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: Quite sure that image is going to haunt me for the rest of the day! Thanks for sharing... You're welcome... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted January 25, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 25, 2021 16 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: Yes. Because it's by some bloke called Mozart..... Based on an old European tune. It's not by Mozart (1756-1791), as I think you know. Mozart wrote a set of twelve variations (published 1781-2) on the tune, which Wikipedia says dates from 1740, but was first published in1761. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 5 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: Quite sure that image is going to haunt me for the rest of the day! Thanks for sharing... If that's what toilet paper can do I'm going to keep it permanently in the freezer - not just put it in at night for the morning after a takeaway curry. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 9 hours ago, The Johnster said: If it’s that inflammable, I’m not shoving any more of that stuff up me! Don't think you quite understand the concept of toilet paper! 1 3 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Saunders Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 1 hour ago, jcm@gwr said: Don't think you quite understand the concept of toilet paper! Now explain toilet soap! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manna Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 G'day Folks 1 1 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartynJPearson Posted January 26, 2021 Share Posted January 26, 2021 8 hours ago, Mark Saunders said: Now explain toilet soap! And if you could, please explain a toilet brush. My wife says I should use one but I always find it tickles so prefer paper. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Al51 Posted January 26, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 26, 2021 From the Level Crossing Stupidity thread, kudos to the girl in the last row with a prosthetic leg: 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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