RMweb Gold Happy Hippo Posted January 7, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 7, 2018 INDIAN CURRY RHAPSODY Thank you, this has got to be the best work ever to appear on this thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted January 8, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 8, 2018 With a toad bringing up the rear. Because toads are always towed Unless the train is being propelled, but that would just be confusing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted January 8, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 8, 2018 This is the nearest thing I can find to a three-toad sloth... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium ColinK Posted January 8, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 8, 2018 So of the brake van goes into a tunnel, is it toad in the hole? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted January 8, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 8, 2018 I've just come down with this 'Australian Flu'. Off to the doctor.... "Describe your symptons"; sez the Doc. "I keep saying G'day!, and a raging thirst for weak lager". "Aaah!! Sez doctor. You've got it bad! I'm going to prescribe some fizzy mineral water. Don't overdo it, it's a bit stronger than what you're used to....". D.R. Doolittle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted January 8, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 8, 2018 While on the subject: If Australian flu and bird flu were to meet up and mutate each other, is the result going to be called budgie flu? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Storey Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 (edited) While on the subject: If Australian flu and bird flu were to meet up and mutate each other, is the result going to be called budgie flu? If you like - sounds like this is all your fault? - but perhaps it would more likely be EMUfluenza? (Anyone can get it - AC or DC). At least its something we can say we brought back from Oz. Mr Root will only be bringing back gastroenteritus. Edited January 8, 2018 by Mike Storey 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Co-tr-Paul Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 I hear on the internet that this Australian Flu has gone viral... . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Alex TM Posted January 8, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 8, 2018 Hi everyone, The flu jokes are funny - until you know someone for whom it was the last virus they ever caught ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted January 9, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 9, 2018 A work colleague would religiously have a flu jab every year, and have a month of work afterwards. Nowadays, if I'm offered a jab, the response is "Thanks for the offer, but no". I don't want to go to hospital, that's where all of the sick people live! Ian. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted January 9, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 9, 2018 Last time I was in hospital they did some nice things to me. That's why I'm still here. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted January 9, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 9, 2018 Last time I was in hospital they did some nice things to me. I went on Tuesday and they put a camera where the sun doesn't shine. As she started the procedure she asked if it was ok, I replied "I'd have preferred a handshake as a greeting" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewC Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I went on Tuesday and they put a camera where the sun doesn't shine. As she started the procedure she asked if it was ok, I replied "I'd have preferred a handshake as a greeting" Bolton? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted January 9, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 9, 2018 Bolton? I'm reliably informed that both locations are full of the same substance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andytrains Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 There would be no Sh1t left inside before the camera job. Have you never heard of Picolax. (Explosive to say the least). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Coryton Posted January 9, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 9, 2018 (edited) Last time I was in hospital they did some nice things to me. That's why I'm still here. Pretty horrible things are often done to people in hospitals...but worth it in the long run.... Edited January 9, 2018 by Coryton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted January 9, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 9, 2018 There would be no Sh1t left inside before the camera job. Have you never heard of Picolax. (Explosive to say the least). That's reserved for the 25th when there's a repeat performance, luckily all the drains in Bedfordshire are directed towards Luton.....explains so much.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 That's reserved for the 25th when there's a repeat performance, luckily all the drains in Bedfordshire are directed towards Luton.....explains so much.... Have a read at this before taking the dreaded Picolax, it may be an urban myth but it is very very funny http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/this-is-a-very-long-read-but-i-swear-it-is-worth-it-it-is-the-greatest-violent-poo-story-ever-told.452628177/ Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andytrains Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted January 9, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 9, 2018 Rough neighbourhood around here. I went to the local medical centre. Whilst waiting, a very pretty nurse approached me. "Are you waiting for the doctor?" "Yes, please". "Do you have a black eye, or a fat lip? "Errr, no" " Do you want one, while your waiting?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Storey Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 There would be no Sh1t left inside before the camera job. Have you never heard of Picolax. (Explosive to say the least). It made my trains run and run..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 Two Elephants and a pair of cymbals fall off a cliff... Boom-Boom-Tish! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Alex TM Posted January 9, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 9, 2018 Hi folks, Just to continue with the laxative thread ..... every couple of years I have a full medical however one year I was asked, among the usual questions, if I'd ever had a colonoscopy. No, I replied (a fatal mistake). The laxative product used is known a 'cleanprep' and, apparently, tastes of strawberry - now I do know what the latter both taste and look like, and cleanprep is nothing like that. Suffice to say, I was given the bed next to the loo ...... I also discovered that it's an effective way to dehydrate you even when you are drinking litres of water at a time. The next time they asked I told them 'yes' and that I never wanted to go through that ever again. The funny bit came when I came round from the sedative - apparently I had serenaded the rather pretty nurse with a song with her name (Elouise) - it seems I have a reasonably good bass-baritone voice - but only when I am truly out-of-my face on NHS intravenous anesthesia! Regards, Alex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 Hi folks, Just to continue with the laxative thread ..... every couple of years I have a full medical however one year I was asked, among the usual questions, if I'd ever had a colonoscopy. No, I replied (a fatal mistake). The laxative product used is known a 'cleanprep' and, apparently, tastes of strawberry - now I do know what the latter both taste and look like, and cleanprep is nothing like that. Suffice to say, I was given the bed next to the loo ...... I also discovered that it's an effective way to dehydrate you even when you are drinking litres of water at a time. The next time they asked I told them 'yes' and that I never wanted to go through that ever again. The funny bit came when I came round from the sedative - apparently I had serenaded the rather pretty nurse with a song with her name (Elouise) - it seems I have a reasonably good bass-baritone voice - but only when I am truly out-of-my face on NHS intravenous anesthesia! Regards, Alex. And I bet not a single Bum Note! Jim 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Alex TM Posted January 9, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 9, 2018 Jim, That certainly deserves a groan ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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