RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted January 21, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 21, 2021 3 hours ago, kevinlms said: Turns out there are TWO Loch Ness Monsters. One of them is quite mean, but the other actually gives away his forestry tools. A little weird, sure, but it's always nice to see some random axe of Kind Ness. Here's another Irish Nessie Over in Ireland, in a lake near Dublin, they have their own Nessie. It's a monster that likes to ring doorbells and run away. It's a knock-less monster. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted January 21, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 21, 2021 18 hours ago, leopardml2341 said: Surely, it is Trump Whine? 7 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Nick C Posted January 21, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 21, 2021 2 hours ago, Ramblin Rich said: All together now: "My dog's got no nose..." This reminded me of the Monty Python version of that joke, which is used as the German response to the funniest joke in the world. I then discovered a Google easter egg - if you paste the joke - which is, as we all know, deadly - into Google translate, it returns a fatal error... 3 1 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted January 21, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 21, 2021 Regular readers will be pleased to know that I have not had a Penguin for my chocolate treat today. I had a Twirl instead! 1 1 1 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted January 21, 2021 Share Posted January 21, 2021 If you're of a nervous disposition, look away now: I mean now: Alright, you've had your warnings: I mean it: No, really: Last chance: Right, here goes: Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput! 3 2 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted January 21, 2021 Share Posted January 21, 2021 13 minutes ago, Chris116 said: Regular readers will be pleased to know that I have not had a Penguin for my chocolate treat today. I had a Twirl instead! Why, what were you wearing? 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted January 21, 2021 Share Posted January 21, 2021 And is your name Anthea? 2 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 21, 2021 Share Posted January 21, 2021 No. But he got kicked off the bus for being a Twirly.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted January 21, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 21, 2021 Just now, Steamport Southport said: No. But he got kicked off the bus for being a Twirly.... Only if I arrive for the bus before 9am with a Freedom Pass am I too early! 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted January 21, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 21, 2021 Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiller and a Social Worker? A(1): Some people like Rotweillers. A(2): Sometimes, you can get your kids back off a Rottweiller. A(3): A Rottweiler gives you your kids back f*cked. A Social Worker gives you your kids back completely f*cked, and b*ggered. Q: What should you do when you see your Social Worker* coming down the road staggering from a shotgun wound? A: Reload and take another shot. *substitute landlord, psychiatrist, MP, PM, local Jehovah's Witnesses, etc as appropriate to taste. But in any case, reload and take another shot. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Lamb Posted January 21, 2021 Share Posted January 21, 2021 39 minutes ago, The Johnster said: Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiller and a Social Worker? A(1): Some people like Rotweillers. A(2): Sometimes, you can get your kids back off a Rottweiller. A(3): A Rottweiler gives you your kids back f*cked. A Social Worker gives you your kids back completely f*cked, and b*ggered. Q: What should you do when you see your Social Worker* coming down the road staggering from a shotgun wound? A: Reload and take another shot. *substitute landlord, psychiatrist, MP, PM, local Jehovah's Witnesses, etc as appropriate to taste. But in any case, reload and take another shot. That reminds me of a sticker in the rear window of a car some years ago. Help a London child....... kill a social worker today. Bernard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted January 21, 2021 Share Posted January 21, 2021 I once saw written on a van: No dogs - or fat birds. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted January 21, 2021 Share Posted January 21, 2021 2 hours ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said: I once saw written on a van: No dogs - or fat birds. I'm probably repeating myself here, so apologise, but the best thing I ever saw written on a van was "Danger - Prat in Transit". 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted January 21, 2021 Share Posted January 21, 2021 4 1 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted January 21, 2021 Share Posted January 21, 2021 6 hours ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said: Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput! [FATAL ERROR] 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted January 22, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 22, 2021 Mate of mine had a Transit, which he called Gloria Mundi, which I thought was pretty cool... 4 1 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pH Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 1 hour ago, The Johnster said: Mate of mine had a Transit, which he called Gloria Mundi, which I thought was pretty cool... ... or, as they say nowadays, sick. 1 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 I thought In Loco Parentis meant my dad's a train driver..... You can have that one! 2 1 3 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted January 22, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 22, 2021 53 minutes ago, God's Wonderful Railway 1835 said: That's not a gnu song. It's been around for a while. 3 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted January 22, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 22, 2021 ... which all goes to demonstrate that the old ones aren't always the best ones and don't necessarily improve with repetition! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dickon Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 (edited) 18 hours ago, Bernard Lamb said: That reminds me of a sticker in the rear window of a car some years ago. Help a London child....... kill a social worker today. Bernard In 1967 I saw a car on King's Road Chelsea with a window sticker that said: "Preserve Chelsea's wild life.......Throw a Party!" Edited January 22, 2021 by Dickon 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 12 hours ago, Baby Deltic said: Must be Paul McCatney. 2 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 1 hour ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said: Must be Paul McCatney. Paul Meowcartney surely? steve 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Lamb Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 I had a dream about a horse last night. I think it was a night mare. Bernard 7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post Sidecar Racer Posted January 22, 2021 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2021 New research shows pornography gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house. 1 1 23 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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