RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted January 24, 2022 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted January 24, 2022 4 hours ago, rocor said: A friend of mine, related to me a tale from when he was a teenager back in the nineteen fifties. Once he came upon a lady who was in some distress, as she had got the hem of her dress caught in the chain of her bicycle. In the resulting actions undertaken to disentangle the dress from the chain, he did inadvertently discover that she was neither wearing underwear and was a natural redhead. You will remember that image for the rest of your life. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted January 24, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 24, 2022 "The person who invented the door knocker won the no-bell prize." 1 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted January 25, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 25, 2022 On 24/01/2022 at 10:23, Colin_McLeod said: We are in luck, the tire is spelled with a "K" and the virus with a "C"! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 25, 2022 Share Posted January 25, 2022 On 24/01/2022 at 12:20, RJS1977 said: Sorry to spoil the joke, but as "deuce" (juice) means "forty all", "love deuce" is impossible. I know. It's kids saying random words they don't understand. That's part of the joke..... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted January 25, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 25, 2022 "A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, so I told him toucan play at that game!" 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post pH Posted January 26, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted January 26, 2022 (edited) Edited May 2, 2022 by pH 4 1 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LimboBrit Posted January 26, 2022 Share Posted January 26, 2022 4 hours ago, pH said: I'm lucky I'm not allowed to eat grapefruit. 2 3 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold CHAZ D Posted January 26, 2022 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 26, 2022 2 hours ago, LimboBrit said: I'm lucky I'm not allowed to eat grapefruit. Neither am I. Blood pressure tablets warn against Grapefruit! 4 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted January 26, 2022 Share Posted January 26, 2022 4 hours ago, LimboBrit said: I'm lucky I'm not allowed to eat grapefruit. 1 hour ago, CHAZ D said: Neither am I. Blood pressure tablets warn against Grapefruit! I don't eat grapefruit due to their acidity. Horrid things! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted January 26, 2022 Share Posted January 26, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, CHAZ D said: Neither am I. Blood pressure tablets warn against Grapefruit! I've just been reading a little about that, how it was discovered that grapefruit inhibit medicines (it involved drugs, alcohol and raiding the refrigerator), and how the sneaky blighter does it. Edited January 26, 2022 by Obi-Jiff Kenobi Edited for clarity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LimboBrit Posted January 26, 2022 Share Posted January 26, 2022 3 hours ago, CHAZ D said: Neither am I. Blood pressure tablets warn against Grapefruit! In my case cholesterol pills Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted January 26, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 26, 2022 (edited) 12 hours ago, Coombe Vale said: A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to got to Rome! So, how are you getting there?" "We’re taking Continental" was the reply. "We got a great rate." "Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?" "We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome’s Tiber River called Teste." "Don’t go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive but its really a dump." "We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope." said the woman. "That’s rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. if you do see him, he’ll look like the size of ant . Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it." A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the woman. "Not only were we on time in one of Continental’s brand new planes but it was overbooked so they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot." "And, the hotel was great! They had just finished a 5 million dollar remodelling job and now its a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too were overbooked so they apologised and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!" "Well," muttered the hairdresser," that’s all well and good but I bet you didn’t get to see the Pope." "Actually, we were quite lucky because as we toured the Vatican a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me." "Oh really! What did he say?" "He just said: ‘Who ****ed up your hair?’" I am glad that I had just swallowed my sip of soda before I got to the punch line, otherwise my monitor would have needed a thorough cleaning! That has to be the funniest one that I have read here! Ever! Edited January 26, 2022 by J. S. Bach 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted January 26, 2022 Share Posted January 26, 2022 2 hours ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said: I've just been reading a little about that, how it was discovered that grapefruit inhibit ....alcohol .....and how the sneaky blighter does it. Really?? Do tell more!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted January 26, 2022 Share Posted January 26, 2022 52 minutes ago, J. S. Bach said: I am glad that I had just swallowed my sip of soda before I got to the punch line, otherwise my monitor would have needed a thorough cleaning! That has to be the funniest one that I have read here! Ever! I didn't find the joke that funny, and I suspect it's a repeat as many of them are on here, but your reaction was funny!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted January 26, 2022 Share Posted January 26, 2022 16 minutes ago, F-UnitMad said: Really?? Do tell more!!! I read it here: Atlas Obscura - grapefruit is weird 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted January 26, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 26, 2022 "Don't interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are you'll hear some crosswords." 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pH Posted January 27, 2022 Share Posted January 27, 2022 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted January 27, 2022 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 27, 2022 On 24/01/2022 at 15:16, rocor said: A friend of mine, related to me a tale from when he was a teenager back in the nineteen fifties. Once he came upon a lady who was in some distress, as she had got the hem of her dress caught in the chain of her bicycle. In the resulting actions undertaken to disentangle the dress from the chain, he did inadvertently discover that she was neither wearing underwear and was a natural redhead. Pictures, please, colour in this case for obvious reasons, or it never happened … 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Neth Posted January 27, 2022 Share Posted January 27, 2022 (edited) A blind man walks into a bar... then into a tree... then into a mailbox. Edited January 27, 2022 by Alex Neth 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted January 27, 2022 Share Posted January 27, 2022 (edited) I hear that British Railways Illustrated are releasing a special on steam engines that use the steam twice: first in a small, high-pressure cylinder then in a larger, low-pressure cylinder. Well, that just compounds the issue. Edited January 27, 2022 by CameronL Typo 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 27, 2022 Share Posted January 27, 2022 Man goes to the vet because his cat is poorly. Vet asks "Is he a Tom?" "Nay lad, 'ah've got it 'ere in t'basket!" That's for Barry Cryer 4 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocor Posted January 27, 2022 Share Posted January 27, 2022 22 hours ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said: I've just been reading a little about that, how it was discovered that grapefruit inhibit medicines (it involved drugs, alcohol and raiding the refrigerator), and how the sneaky blighter does it. Oh, no! 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allegheny1600 Posted January 27, 2022 Share Posted January 27, 2022 I found it funny that Cameron’s joke about “compounding” was first reacted to by no other than “Compound” himself! I know - small minds and all that. I’m on my way! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted January 27, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 27, 2022 7 minutes ago, Allegheny1600 said: I found it funny that Cameron’s joke about “compounding” was first reacted to by no other than “Compound” himself! I know - small minds and all that. Well, yes, what else could I do? I'm afraid that in fact I found the joke rather laboured. My advice to would-be jokesters is: keep it simple... 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post ian Posted January 27, 2022 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted January 27, 2022 The earth’s surface is 70% water. That water is non-carbonated. Therefore the earth is flat. 1 1 3 1 3 11 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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