KeithMacdonald Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 How to catch wild live haggis The hunting season starts today. 2 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 34 minutes ago, KeithMacdonald said: How to catch wild live haggis The hunting season starts today. Are you still allowed to boil 'em live? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 (edited) 2 hours ago, Hroth said: Are you still allowed to boil 'em live? No. There's actually a humane method of killing haggis. It relies on the fact that mating for haggis is a fraught and rare occasion. As the males' right legs are longer than their left, and the females' left legs are longer than their right, if the male turns round to mount the female his legs are all wrong for the hill and he falls over. This is where "Haggie Pins" come in. Traditionally hand-carved by haggis hunters, they are little wooden legs which the hunter fits to a male and female once they've been caught and caged. With all legs the same length mating becomes much easier and the little furballs go at it 'til they die of sexual exhaustion. You can buy decorative Haggie Pins in many gift shops throughout the Highlands. They're the Scottish equivalent of the Welsh love spoon. Edited April 1, 2023 by CameronL 1 3 7 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 A polar bear walks into a bar. Barman: What can I get you? Polar bear: Two pints of Lager and a packet of.... .... ... nuts. B: if you don't mind me asking, why the big pause? PB: They help me walk in the snow. 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted April 1, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 1, 2023 A similar issue occurs with Welsh mountain sheep, though not affecting reproduction in the same way. A combinaiton of Welsh topography and the evolutionary has resulted in clockwise and widdershins sheep, which graze around a mountain following a contour line because the legs on the right side (clockwise) or left side (widdershins) of the sheep are shorter to facilitate movement and grazing on the steep slopes. As clockwise sheep can only mate with other clockwise sheep, and likewise for widdershins sheep, the evolutionary trend is furthered through DNA. Recent reports from the Brecon Beacons suggest that a trend is emerging for uphill sheep with shorter front legs; clearly there is no evolutionary advantage in downhill sheep, as they cannot get at the grass easily unless they develop longer necks (this may be how Llamas developed in the Andes). It is expected that eventually corkscrew sheep will develop in both clockwise and widdershins forms, with one shorter front leg and a diagonally opposite back leg. These will proceed up the mountain in a spiral fashion, disappearing in a puff of blue smoke up their own fundamentals at the summit... It's all true! 4 10 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted April 1, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 1, 2023 Someone open the hatch. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian Smeeton Posted April 1, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 1, 2023 5 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: How to catch wild live haggis The hunting season starts today. They have been doing it the hard way. Much easier to use a pair of Haggis Hounds. Like the Haggis, they have developed over time for the dogs to have longer left legs than right legs. The bitches are the opposite way round. Dogs work the hill clockwise, bitches anticlockwise It does mean that finding pure bred Haggis Hounds is not easy as the mating is almost impossible without some form of human intervention. There are plenty of half-bred hounds, both dogs and bitches but the asymmetric leg is lost in the cross breeding and does not reappear with the introduction of a pure bred sire or dam to the equation. Regards Ian 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 7 minutes ago, Ian Smeeton said: mating is almost impossible without some form of human intervention. Why does that remind me of all those jokes and/or stereotypes concerning Welsh farmers & sheep..?? 😉🤣 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dunsignalling Posted April 1, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 1, 2023 1 hour ago, F-UnitMad said: Why does that remind me of all those jokes and/or stereotypes concerning Welsh farmers & sheep..?? 😉🤣 That took longer to enter the conversation than i expected....😉 1 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted April 1, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 1, 2023 Yes, weren't we all on our best behaviour! Level found now, though, normal service restored... 8 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted April 1, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 1, 2023 Normal? Just what is normal? Especially around here! 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 Donald Trump is not to appear in handcuffs if he comes to trial - small hands again. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 After the news that Shaun the Sheep went around the moon and back to earth on Nasa's return to the moon test flight Shaun was asked if he had been nervous and he just pointed to a little pile of black plasticine poo. 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterfgf Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 1 hour ago, J. S. Bach said: Normal? Just what is normal? Especially around here! Norfolk? NFN? 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 1 hour ago, NIK said: Donald Trump is not to appear in handcuffs if he comes to trial - small hands again. I think the problem is that he gets too "over excited" when handcuffed.... Nudge, nudge, wink, wink! 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 5 hours ago, Ian Smeeton said: They have been doing it the hard way. Much easier to use a pair of Haggis Hounds. Like the Haggis, they have developed over time for the dogs to have longer left legs than right legs. The bitches are the opposite way round. Dogs work the hill clockwise, bitches anticlockwise It does mean that finding pure bred Haggis Hounds is not easy as the mating is almost impossible without some form of human intervention. There are plenty of half-bred hounds, both dogs and bitches but the asymmetric leg is lost in the cross breeding and does not reappear with the introduction of a pure bred sire or dam to the equation. Regards Ian Apparently, modern research indicates that the continued breeding of these specialised creatures is mainly down to the scurrilous activities of the Scottish Trans Haggis Hound dogs, who have benefited from the First Minister's decision to allow the leg operations on the instant declaration of their gender change. 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
aardvark Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 I live in the Antipodes, where our clocks all went back this morning. It's a good thing I kept the receipts. 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted April 2, 2023 Share Posted April 2, 2023 14 hours ago, F-UnitMad said: Why does that remind me of all those jokes and/or stereotypes concerning Welsh farmers & sheep..?? 😉🤣 Well they don't say "Rhowch ychydig o wellie iddo!"* for nothing! * According to Google Translate... 7 hours ago, aardvark said: I live in the Antipodes, where our clocks all went back this morning. It's a good thing I kept the receipts. At least it saves you the bother of having to reset the hands... 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted April 2, 2023 Share Posted April 2, 2023 4 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted April 2, 2023 Share Posted April 2, 2023 13 hours ago, NIK said: Donald Trump is not to appear in handcuffs if he comes to trial - small hands again. 12 hours ago, Hroth said: I think the problem is that he gets too "over excited" when handcuffed.... Nudge, nudge, wink, wink! You'd need to ask Stormy Daniels about that... Allegedly. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post KeithMacdonald Posted April 2, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted April 2, 2023 22 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Lamb Posted April 2, 2023 Share Posted April 2, 2023 3 hours ago, Hroth said: At least it saves you the bother of having to reset the hands... Spare a thought for what these guys have to do twice a year. I saw them in action at Avebury last week but have never managed to see them moving the stones at Stonehenge. Bernard 1 5 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted April 2, 2023 Share Posted April 2, 2023 40 minutes ago, Bernard Lamb said: I saw them in action at Avebury last week but have never managed to see them moving the stones at Stonehenge. Well spotted, they usually do it after dark when the tourists aren't there. At least at Avebury they can use power tools. At the Ring of Brodgar, they have to do it by hand. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted April 2, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 2, 2023 I wonder if anyone has modelled a Neolithic stone circle on a layout? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted April 2, 2023 Share Posted April 2, 2023 (edited) 7 hours ago, PhilJ W said: I wonder if anyone has modelled a Neolithic stone circle on a layout? Hi, Santa's global vacation? - originally built by the Basingstoke and North Hants Model Railway Society for Channel 5's Great Model Railway Challenge. Didn't have any small folks dancing round it or a rock band playing with the amps turned up to 11. Edited April 2, 2023 by NIK 2 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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