Jump to content
Users will currently see a stripped down version of the site until an advertising issue is fixed. If you are seeing any suspect adverts please go to the bottom of the page and click on Themes and select IPS Default. ×
RMweb
 

The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
Message added by AY Mod,

Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

Recommended Posts

1 hour ago, The Johnster said:

You have just either made or destroyed her political career

 

It's worth noting that the position of Lord President was one of those "useless non-jobs" (described as such by Bernard Donoughue, one of the inside sources for Yes Minister) where a Prime Minister would push a political rival as revenge and/or to keep them out of the spotlight. That worked out well...

  • Like 3
  • Agree 4
  • Funny 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

49 minutes ago, J. S. Bach said:

Chucky does not look too happy in that photo.

 

He's just pondering on that sword, and the merits of decapitation...

 

(No name, no packdrill...)

 

  • Interesting/Thought-provoking 1
  • Funny 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium
3 hours ago, Hroth said:

 

He's just pondering on that sword, and the merits of decapitation...

 

(No name, no packdrill...)

 

Could do it Chinese style, as he walks down the aisle points to the politicians and instructs the sword bearer to decapitate them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, PhilJ W said:

Could do it Chinese style, as he walks down the aisle points to the politicians and instructs the sword bearer to decapitate them.

 

TBH it wouldn't be a politician. Later, perhaps...

 

  • Funny 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium
58 minutes ago, PhilJ W said:

Could do it Chinese style, as he walks down the aisle points to the politicians and instructs the sword bearer to decapitate them.

The Thames would be in major flood stage if done properly.

  • Funny 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Back to the jokes...

 

I was polishing my Bardic lamp when suddenly, a genie popped out and said I could have one wish! "One?" I said, "Isn't it usually three?". "There's a recession you know." replied the genie...So I thought long and hard and said "I just want to be happy". Then, with a flash, I was down a mine with six dwarves....

 

  • Like 3
  • Round of applause 1
  • Funny 11
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium
9 hours ago, steve1 said:

steve 

E620EE0F-FA97-4F8B-8E46-8A49FA1C693A.jpeg

A serious question: the woman in the blue uniform , who is she and what is her position; both her normal one and her Coronation one?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium
5 minutes ago, J. S. Bach said:

A serious question: the woman in the blue uniform , who is she and what is her position; both her normal one and her Coronation one?

 

Where have you been since last Saturday?

 

She is Penny Morduant, a cabinet minister and former contender for the leadership of the Conservative Party. She is currently Leader of the House of Commons and Lord President of the Privy Council. It is by virtue of the latter position - a rather ancient one, pre-dating much of the modern machinery of parliamentary government - that she had a role in the coronation service. 

 

It's not a uniform she's wearing but an outfit she had specially made, there being no precedent for the coronation attire of a female Lord President. 

 

More via @Dagworth's link!

  • Like 3
  • Informative/Useful 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, J. S. Bach said:

A serious question: the woman in the blue uniform , who is she and what is her position; both her normal one and her Coronation one?

 

Mostly known to the general public for this!

 

 

Fascinating what some people will watch....

 

You certainly wouldn't get me up on that board though.

 

Lord President a "non" job? Don't tell the LNER as they named one of their most important engines after it!

 

R3985_20210105_3652826_Qty1_cat.jpg

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold

Not quite; we have a Speaker of the House (of Commons, not Lords, they are expected to maintain a level of decorum as part of noblesse oblige without an authority figure supervising them) as well.  The Speaker is responsible for keeping order in the Commons Chamber, which has not progressed all that much since the original Chamber, in which the two sides of the House are separated by a central aisle that is more than an outstretched sword in width, for good reason.  A keeper of order is not just a ceremonial role: debates and (in particular) Prime Minister's Questions in the 'Mother of Parliaments' do not adhere to the dignity and gravitas that chambers such as your Congress seek to effect.  They are bawdy, ill-mannered, and loutish, and always were; you could be listening to a schoolboy yard conversation.  Behaviour has improved slightly since proceedings were televised live, but shouting, interrupting, childish insults, and generally poor behaviour is par for the course, and proceedings carry on to the sound of the Speaker's shouted pleas for 'order, order'. 

 

The speaker has the authority to curtail behaviour if things are getting seriously out of hand, and to summon the Master At Arms to remove you from the House if he thinks that is called for.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Steamport Southport said:

Lord President a "non" job? Don't tell the LNER as they named one of their most important engines after it!

 

R3985_20210105_3652826_Qty1_cat.jpg

 

That Lord President is named after the position of Lord President of the Court of Session, the head of the judiciary in Scotland. 

  • Informative/Useful 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium

Perhaps the appointment of Mordaunt as Lord President and Leader of the House was Liz Truss' most (only?) perspicacious act as PM - having upper body strength in mind.

 

2 hours ago, DavidB-AU said:

That Lord President is named after the position of Lord President of the Court of Session, the head of the judiciary in Scotland. 

 

Indeed the P2s all had good Scottish names, though I wonder if particular holders of the offices of Earl Marischal and Lord President were supposed to be brought to mind? They are a motley bunch of names, though: the colloquial title of a clan chief, two government officers, an old cannon, a Shakespearean character, and a particularly unpleasant medieval earl.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 minutes ago, Compound2632 said:

Perhaps the appointment of Mordaunt as Lord President and Leader of the House was Liz Truss' most (only?) perspicacious act as PM - having upper body strength in mind.

 

 

Indeed the P2s all had good Scottish names, though I wonder if particular holders of the offices of Earl Marischal and Lord President were supposed to be brought to mind? They are a motley bunch of names, though: the colloquial title of a clan chief, two government officers, an old cannon, a Shakespearean character, and a particularly unpleasant medieval earl.

 

More interesting than the LNERs perennial string of long-forgotten racehorses!

 

  • Like 1
  • Agree 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, Compound2632 said:

 

Where have you been since last Saturday?

 

She is Penny Morduant, a cabinet minister and former contender for the leadership of the Conservative Party. She is currently Leader of the House of Commons and Lord President of the Privy Council. It is by virtue of the latter position - a rather ancient one, pre-dating much of the modern machinery of parliamentary government - that she had a role in the coronation service. 

 

It's not a uniform she's wearing but an outfit she had specially made, there being no precedent for the coronation attire of a female Lord President. 

 

More via @Dagworth's link!

J S Bach and several others (including me) are on the left hand side of the Atlantic, and not as swamped with TV coverage of the event as those in the UK.  (J S, sorry, I'm sure you're more than capable of speaking up for yourself, but anyway...)

John

  • Like 2
  • Friendly/supportive 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 hours ago, 33C said:

Back to the jokes...

 

I was polishing my Bardic lamp when suddenly, a genie popped out and said I could have one wish! "One?" I said, "Isn't it usually three?". "There's a recession you know." replied the genie...So I thought long and hard and said "I just want to be happy". Then, with a flash, I was down a mine with six dwarves....

 

Then the lights went out. Now he's feeling Grumpy.

  • Funny 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium
11 minutes ago, proton said:

J S Bach and several others (including me) are on the left hand side of the Atlantic, and not as swamped with TV coverage of the event as those in the UK.  (J S, sorry, I'm sure you're more than capable of speaking up for yourself, but anyway...)

 

My apologies to our rebellious cousins. I had been under the impression that the Coronation had received a fair bit of media attention in the US - at least, more than in Australia or Canada!

  • Interesting/Thought-provoking 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium
20 hours ago, J. S. Bach said:

A serious question: the woman in the blue uniform , who is she and what is her position; both her normal one and her Coronation one?

20 hours ago, Compound2632 said:

Where have you been since last Saturday?

She is Penny Morduant, a cabinet minister and former contender for the leadership of the Conservative Party. She is currently Leader of the House of Commons and Lord President of the Privy Council. It is by virtue of the latter position - a rather ancient one, pre-dating much of the modern machinery of parliamentary government - that she had a role in the coronation service.

It's not a uniform she's wearing but an outfit she had specially made, there being no precedent for the coronation attire of a female Lord President.

More via @Dagworth's link!

I did read the link, it was informative. Although I still think that she looks like an airline stewardess in that costume.

 

9 hours ago, F-UnitMad said:

Give him a chance, he lives on the left-hand side of The Pond. 

5 hours ago, proton said:

J S Bach and several others (including me) are on the left hand side of the Atlantic, and not as swamped with TV coverage of the event as those in the UK.  (J S, sorry, I'm sure you're more than capable of speaking up for yourself, but anyway...)

John

5 hours ago, Compound2632 said:

My apologies to our rebellious cousins. I had been under the impression that the Coronation had received a fair bit of media attention in the US - at least, more than in Australia or Canada!

It may have, I do not know.

 

I have two TVs, one 26" and one 52"; neither has been turned on this year and last year only the 52" to watch a couple of laserdiscs and as a large-screen computer monitor. Note that where I live, I can only watch ota tv if I use an external antenna.

Edited by J. S. Bach
  • Funny 1
  • Friendly/supportive 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...