The Forum Jokes Thread

[DK123GWR]

5 hours ago, kevinlms said:

When does a rabbit goes as fast as a train?

Less often than a toad!

[CameronL]

[PhilJ W]

[PhilJ W]

[PhilJ W]

[PhilJ W]

[aardvark]

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?

 

I don’t know and I don’t care.

 

[Bernard Lamb]

[PhilJ W]

Bought a new TV to watch the Premier League next season.
Took it home, opened the box…..
No bloody Leeds!

[PhilJ W]

[Nick C]

On 28/05/2023 at 11:08, Reorte said:

Boringly off-topic and unfunny, but on the house numbering scheme odds on one side, evens on the other is the most common in the UK (and several other countries) but it's not universal. I'm in number 1, in a row on its own, so they're just numbered 1-8 (with 7 missing because 8 is two houses knocked through in to one). The occasional street has numbers running up sequentially on one side and back down the other.

 

A famous example of next door having the following number is Downing Street.

Where my Mother-in-Law lives, in rural Poland, houses tend to be numbered in the order they were built. There's also no streetnames in smaller villages, so the address is simply "house number, village, county", and any given number can be almost anywhere in the village. Fine for the local postman, who of course knows their beat and which family lives where, but a nightmare for all the couriers relying on satnav!

Edited May 30, 2023 by Nick C

[fulton]

1 hour ago, Nick C said:

Where my Mother-in-Law lives, in rural Poland, houses tend to be numbered in the order they were built.

We were confused in the Czech Republic with buildings displaying postal numbers and, I think, land registry numbers.

[Reorte]

1 hour ago, Nick C said:

Where my Mother-in-Law lives, in rural Poland, houses tend to be numbered in the order they were built. There's also no streetnames in smaller villages, so the address is simply "house number, village, county", and any given number can be almost anywhere in the village. Fine for the local postman, who of course knows their beat and which family lives where, but a nightmare for all the couriers relying on satnav!

It's not uncommon here for villages to not have street names, with houses either named, or numbered in individual rows. Sometimes there are street names but there aren't any signs on the ground naming them (this is the case where my parents live).

 

My grandparents lived on a house on its own in Cumbria - their address was house name, valley, nearest town. The same postcode covered a large chunk of the valley.

[Bernard Lamb]

[BR60103]

In the small town where I first grew up, there were no street signs, or very few.  The council felt that if you didn't know what the street was, you had no business being there.

 

[kevinlms]

4 hours ago, BR60103 said:

In the small town where I first grew up, there were no street signs, or very few.  The council felt that if you didn't know what the street was, you had no business being there.

 

Often an excuse to 'do the residents a favour', by not spending money.

[CameronL]

This morning in bed my wife rolled over, looked me deep in the eyes and said: "Tell me everything you'd like to do with my body."

 

Apparently, "Identify it" wasn't a good answer. 

[luckymucklebackit]

Of course there is this new "what three words" system, mine is loud.cards.piles.  Thats bad enough, but someone has daft.twit.house which is in Queesland Australia 

 

Jim

Edited May 31, 2023 by luckymucklebackit

[RJS1977]

On the subject of building numbers, does anyone know which building is the only one in London to be numbered out of sequence?

[Stubby47]

2 minutes ago, RJS1977 said:

On the subject of building numbers, does anyone know which building is the only one in London to be numbered out of sequence?

Platform 9 3/4?

[SHMD]

#10? It should be 666!

 

 

Kev.

 

[PhilJ W]

Buck house, #1 The Mall.

[Steamport Southport]

Number 1 London

 

Apsley House

 

 

 

[Nick C]

1 hour ago, SHMD said:

#10? It should be 666!

 

 

Kev.

 

In 666 there lives a Mr Miller

He's our local vicar

And a serial killer

 

(Let's see who grew up in the 90s...)

Edited May 31, 2023 by Nick C

[jwealleans]

Oh they want to knock us down
'cause they think we're scum
But we will all be waiting
When the bulldozers come