NIK Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 I used to know a joke about a lift. It worked on so many levels. 3 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Al51 Posted September 2, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 2, 2023 I put a new U2 battery in my torch. It works fine but I still haven't found what I'm looking for... 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Colin_McLeod Posted September 2, 2023 Author RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted September 2, 2023 If the USA is so great why did someone feel the need to invent the USB? 1 2 2 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted September 2, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 2, 2023 14 hours ago, Bernard Lamb said: I've seen a speed camera pole, where someone had put a chain around it and pulled. The camera would only have been good for photographing planes - who of course obviously would be speeding significantly. 7 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JZ Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 14 hours ago, Bernard Lamb said: Reminds me of this. 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 (edited) I sicked my humon spall chocker. Holp?. Edited September 2, 2023 by NIK 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 I've been binge watching. Might try and swap my binge for a TV. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 Tim Vine did one thousand of his famous pun filled jokes in a gig for a bird charity. He left no Tern Unstoned. 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 Saw a cyclist mount the pavement. Had to throw a bucket of water over him, 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 2 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted September 2, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 2, 2023 (edited) No. 2 son was cat sitting for my sister-in-law for a couple of weeks this summer - a pair of voracious cats, three pouches a day each and would eat more given the chance, so no sinecure. Anyway, on the night before he handed the job over to his cousin, he dreamed that he had been instructed to wash the cats before he left and that he was in a room full of washing machines, half of which weren't working (he's been living in university accommodation), trying to load each cat into a working machine... Edited September 2, 2023 by Compound2632 comma 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 “Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.” 1 1 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 6 hours ago, NIK said: I sicked my humon spall chocker. Holp?. I didn't write this... "ODE TO THE SPELL CHECKER" Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea Eye strike a quay and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh. Ass soon ass a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite Its rare lea ever wrong Eye have run this poem threw it I am shore your pleased to no It's letter perfect awl the weigh My chequer tolled me sew. 9 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JZ Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed party. So I invited all her friends round to do the housework and laundry. 1 2 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 On 01/09/2023 at 18:29, Bernard Lamb said: Tory party approved vandalism? steve 1 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Lamb Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 39 minutes ago, steve1 said: Tory party approved vandalism? steve Naughty naughty. Politics is banned.😀 I do find it funny that for the cost of the ULEZ charge for one day a week for a year you can buy a compliant car. I do wonder where these millions of people who are too poor to do that are hiding. Bernard 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted September 2, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 2, 2023 47 minutes ago, steve1 said: Tory party approved vandalism? steve Considering Richmond is a Lib Dem council I don't think your political post works. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 3 minutes ago, Bernard Lamb said: Naughty naughty. Politics is banned.😀 I do find it funny that for the cost of the ULEZ charge for one day a week for a year you can buy a compliant car. I do wonder where these millions of people who are too poor to do that are hiding. Bernard £650? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted September 2, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 2, 2023 14 hours ago, Al51 said: I put a new U2 battery in my torch. It works fine but I still haven't found what I'm looking for... If you put a battery in a torch the wrong way around, why doesn't it send out a concentrated beam of darkness into the light? Just asking... 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted September 2, 2023 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted September 2, 2023 2 1 1 1 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted September 3, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 3, 2023 4 hours ago, The Johnster said: If you put a battery in a torch the wrong way around, why doesn't it send out a concentrated beam of darkness into the light? Just asking... It does, you just can't see it! 2 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted September 3, 2023 Share Posted September 3, 2023 9 hours ago, The Johnster said: If you put a battery in a torch the wrong way around, why doesn't it send out a concentrated beam of darkness into the light? Just asking... Definition of torch: Receptacle for dead batteries. 1 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Joseph_Pestell Posted September 3, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 3, 2023 11 hours ago, Bernard Lamb said: Naughty naughty. Politics is banned.😀 I do find it funny that for the cost of the ULEZ charge for one day a week for a year you can buy a compliant car. I do wonder where these millions of people who are too poor to do that are hiding. Bernard My car is worth £800 (according to insurers) and ULEZ compliant. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted September 3, 2023 Share Posted September 3, 2023 12 hours ago, chris p bacon said: Considering Richmond is a Lib Dem council I don't think your political post works. https://amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/aug/31/vandal-ulez-camera-tory-mps-protest-criminal-damage-police steve 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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