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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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12 hours ago, The Johnster said:

For long reading sessions, which tend to occur with good fiction, I prefer them in analogue form, as it is easier on the eyes if you are in for a hour or more reading session.  Magnifiers for smartphones are cheap, though, and worth a try...

If reading on a smartphone I'd agree. But if you get a dedicated eReader the screens are much more natural and easy on the eyes. Mine does have a backlight but it's only active if I'm reading in a dark room. I've recently found that to be very useful because I was struggling a bit with getting to sleep. I now read for half an hour in my lounge with the lights off before going up to bed and it's helped me.

 

But in typical lighting the backlight is off or very dim which is why the battery lasts so well.

 

"Yesterday a book fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame."

Edited by AndrueC
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4 hours ago, Colin_McLeod said:

Or the lady behind the speaking clock lol    

 

Only had to say a few words as the machine automatically put them in the right order.

 

Saw a piece on how they did it a few years ago on something like Nationwide.

 

Even has a Thunderbirds connection!

 

https://www.thehistorypress.co.uk/articles/celebrating-80-years-of-the-speaking-clock/

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19 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said:

 

Only had to say a few words as the machine automatically put them in the right order.

 

Saw a piece on how they did it a few years ago on something like Nationwide.

 

Even has a Thunderbirds connection!

 

https://www.thehistorypress.co.uk/articles/celebrating-80-years-of-the-speaking-clock/

Telstra's talking clock (George) still exists, sort of. All the recordings have been copied and it is available on the internet. All apparently rescued just in time.

 

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-10-16/talking-clock-continues-to-tick-on-the-internet/11605112

 

I hope it is accessable from the UK.

 

http://1194online.com/

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3 minutes ago, tomparryharry said:

I would think the Speaking Clock still has a use for blind people.... I was going to interject a joke there, but it wasn't particularly funny. Even the delete key has a use. 

 

Still gets 70 million calls a year.

 

https://telephonesuk.org.uk/speaking-clock/#:~:text=The BT Speaking Clock receives,rolled out nationwide in 1942.

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3 hours ago, Steamport Southport said:

 

Only had to say a few words as the machine automatically put them in the right order.

 

Saw a piece on how they did it a few years ago on something like Nationwide.

 

Even has a Thunderbirds connection!

 

https://www.thehistorypress.co.uk/articles/celebrating-80-years-of-the-speaking-clock/

 

Exactly the same way Digital Doris does station announcements.....

 

Not my satnav, though, judging from the weird mispronunciations!

 

Edited by Dunsignalling
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