exmoordave Posted September 24, 2023 Share Posted September 24, 2023 I invented the glove. OK I'm lying, but I did have a hand in it.... 10 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Leicester Thumper Posted September 24, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted September 24, 2023 4 2 20 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted September 24, 2023 Share Posted September 24, 2023 For English Language Lovers. What is the difference between 'Completed' and 'Finished'? No dictionary has been able to define the difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished.' But in a online linguistic conference, this was the winning entry: Quote When you marry the right woman, you are 'Complete.' If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'Finished.' And when the right woman catches you with the wrong woman, you are 'Completely Finished.' 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pH Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 2 hours ago, Leicester Thumper said: That’s like the theme of this novel by Stephen Fry: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Making_History_(novel) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted September 25, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 25, 2023 2 hours ago, Leicester Thumper said: But it all depends on what stage of history, he was killed! 5 minutes before he committed suicide would have made zero difference. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 3 hours ago, Leicester Thumper said: 1 hour ago, kevinlms said: But it all depends on what stage of history, he was killed! 5 minutes before he committed suicide would have made zero difference. And if you did it early enough, you might not get back to your "present" because the technology you used to go so far back might not have been invented yet.... 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted September 25, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 25, 2023 5 hours ago, Hroth said: And if you did it early enough, you might not get back to your "present" because the technology you used to go so far back might not have been invented yet.... "Alternate reality" / "time paradox". Basically the plot of "Back to the future" and countless other time travel stories. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted September 25, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 25, 2023 (edited) 2 hours ago, Ramblin Rich said: "Alternate reality" / "time paradox". Basically the plot of "Back to the future" and countless other time travel stories. The butterfly effect . https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Butterfly_Effect Edited September 25, 2023 by Sidecar Racer Wrong link . 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 25, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 25, 2023 3 hours ago, Ramblin Rich said: "Alternate reality" / "time paradox". 9 minutes ago, Sidecar Racer said: The butterfly effect . https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Butterfly_Effect Whether you go back ten minutes or ten thousand years if you alter the present who is to know? An ideal time machine would be one where you could be able to view the past without being present or being able to alter events. This would be an ideal tool for historians and archaeologists and even for police investigating crimes. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, Sidecar Racer said: The butterfly effect . https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Butterfly_Effect All you have to do is find the dratted thing and tell it to stop flapping its wings. We've had far too many gales this year! Its urgent! There's gale warnings for Wednesday!!! Edited September 25, 2023 by Hroth Update! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted September 25, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 25, 2023 1 hour ago, Hroth said: All you have to do is find the dratted thing and tell it to stop flapping its wings. We've had far too many gales this year! Damn Quantum Weather Butterflies! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
proton Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 3 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Whether you go back ten minutes or ten thousand years if you alter the present who is to know? An ideal time machine would be one where you could be able to view the past without being present or being able to alter events. This would be an ideal tool for historians and archaeologists and even for police investigating crimes. and rivet counters!! 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 1 hour ago, proton said: and rivet counters!! I think railway enthusiasts would be one of the prime users of Time Travel, if it was possible. I know for a fact it's not possible though, because no Terminator-esque Cyborg from the future appeared at my side in school to blow away the scumbags who bullied me to a pulp back then. Trust me, if time travel was ever possible, it would have happened...... 😡💥☠️ 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted September 25, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 25, 2023 16 minutes ago, F-UnitMad said: I think railway enthusiasts would be one of the prime users of Time Travel, if it was possible. I know for a fact it's not possible though, because no Terminator-esque Cyborg from the future appeared at my side in school to blow away the scumbags who bullied me to a pulp back then. Trust me, if time travel was ever possible, it would have happened...... 😡💥☠️ Unless time travel only takes you back to a parallel universe, identical up to the point where the time traveller arrives... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 (edited) Just for a change here's an actual joke. And topical. Just not very good. Why did the second year university student have a shower and a change of clothes? He hoped that it would help him feel a little Fresher. Edited September 25, 2023 by CameronL Typo 4 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dagworth Posted September 25, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 25, 2023 If Mary gave birth to Jesus, and Jesus is the Lamb of God, did Mary have a little lamb? 1 1 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 30 minutes ago, Dagworth said: If Mary gave birth to Jesus, and Jesus is the Lamb of God, did Mary have a little lamb? She also had a bear. 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted September 26, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 26, 2023 On 25/09/2023 at 01:50, kevinlms said: But it all depends on what stage of history, he was killed! 5 minutes before he committed suicide would have made zero difference. In fact, it would be difficult to be absolutely certain that this is not what actually happened… Shroedinger’s fuhrer? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidB-AU Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 On 25/09/2023 at 10:50, kevinlms said: But it all depends on what stage of history, he was killed! 5 minutes before he committed suicide would have made zero difference. Even if you went back to 1889 and ensured he was never born it may not have made much difference. As many historians have pointed out, he didn't create the mood in Germany in the 1930s. He took advantage of it. If not him, somebody even more ruthless and calculating might have come to power. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pH Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 2 hours ago, DavidB-AU said: Even if you went back to 1889 and ensured he was never born it may not have made much difference. As many historians have pointed out, he didn't create the mood in Germany in the 1930s. He took advantage of it. If not him, somebody even more ruthless and calculating might have come to power. Once again, see the theme of this novel by Stephen Fry: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Making_History_(novel) 3 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted September 26, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 26, 2023 Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it." 2 1 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Colin_McLeod Posted September 26, 2023 Author RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted September 26, 2023 5 4 3 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 A horse walked into a pub. Just like the time before, and the time before that. The barman says : "Given the number of times this happens, are you an alcoholic, do you think?" And the horse vanished in a puff of philosophy, Which just goes to show.... ... you can't put Descartes before the horse. 9 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 A pensioner drove his brand new BMW to 100 mph. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 155, ... Suddenly he thought: "I'm too old for this nonsense." So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him. The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said: "Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The Man looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied : "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back." The officer left, saying: " Have a good day, Sir." 4 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post KeithMacdonald Posted September 26, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted September 26, 2023 On RMWeb, I know this might be dangerous .... but I'm not going to post this on the HS2 topic. Oh no, no way. There's dangerous, and then there's suicidal... Live scenes from HS2 north of Birmingham: 1 20 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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