The Forum Jokes Thread

[Reorte]

39 minutes ago, Hroth said:

When I was "upgraded" to VOIP by BT this time last year, there was some sort of scheme to provide a subsidised small UPS to customers considered vulnerable.  I don't know if this is still available but it only provided backup power for about 4 hours, which would mean that if power died overnight, your VOIP connection would be equally dead by the morning...

And even for people with mobiles how long do their batteries last anyway?

[33C]

I'm giving away dead batteries.

No charge.

[Hroth]

2 minutes ago, 33C said:

I'm giving away dead batteries.

No charge.

 

Grone...

 

[Hroth]

20 minutes ago, Reorte said:

And even for people with mobiles how long do their batteries last anyway?

 

With a basic non-"smart" phone, quite a long time on standby, even longer switched off.  If you do have a "smart" phone, then reasonably long if you don't cruise the internet, etc and again longer if its switched off.

 

If its an emergencies only phone there's no reason to leave it on if you don't currently need it!

 

[PhilJ W]

Back to the jokes.

[jcredfer]

36 minutes ago, Reorte said:

That's why I keep a corded phone in a cupboard.

 

Looks like when VOIP's forced on me (which currently looks like involving losing either my current phone number or my email address, neither of which appeal, just to add to the fun) I'll just have to make do with no phone at all if the power goes down.

 

 

I got VOIP last year and there were two options for replacing the copper landline telephone connection, at the time.  Option one was to go to a shop and buy a VOIP compatible telephone, which would plug into the Fibre modem, or keep your old phone and buy a modem, to connect between the router and the phone.

 

There should be no reason to loose the email address, which your internet provider should integrate into the change-over / upgrade.  Some internet providers will also support either phone option, but if your's doesn't then a place like www.thevoipshop.co.uk can also do it for you, with your same telephone number.  There are, of course other suppliers, but this one was quick, simple and efficient {just a satisfied customer}.

 

[PhilJ W]

[PhilJ W]

[AndrueC]

2 hours ago, Reorte said:

That's why I keep a corded phone in a cupboard.

 

Looks like when VOIP's forced on me (which currently looks like involving losing either my current phone number or my email address, neither of which appeal, just to add to the fun) I'll just have to make do with no phone at all if the power goes down.

Of course it also depends where you live. I've lived in a small town in South Northamptonshire for 22 years and during that time I think there have been two or three short outages (like ten minutes or so) and one regional outage lasting nearly an hour in August 2019.

 

Granted if you live in a village or a remote part of the country cuts are probably more frequent and/or longer duration but apparently National Grid is achieving a very high reliability. Mind you whether that can continue to be the case as we rely more and more on renewable generation is an open question.

 

And because of the thread:

Due to a power outage, the house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby

... Little Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his feet and spanked him on his bottom And he began to cry. The paramedic then asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. She quickly responded 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place, spank him again!'

Edited December 6, 2023 by AndrueC

[JZ]

[JZ]

[The Johnster]

2 hours ago, Hroth said:

 

With a basic non-"smart" phone, quite a long time on standby, even longer switched off.  If you do have a "smart" phone, then reasonably long if you don't cruise the internet, etc and again longer if its switched off.

 

If its an emergencies only phone there's no reason to leave it on if you don't currently need it!

 

 

One could at one time back in the Silurian Era buy mobile phones that ran off AA batteries as an alternative to their rechargable, which struck me as a very good idea; not many places you can't buy a couple AAs at some time of your day even if you don't carry spares around with you!  Nowadays, of course, you can carry rechargeable rechargers, power banks. with you.  Smartphone battery life is dependent of screen time, brightness, and use of wifi. 

 

I am, all the same, of the view that battery power is impractical in any device that it does not last at least a month in for normal use; bright screens and wifi are normal use for smartphones.  I usually get 2-3 days off a full charge on my iPhone (11) but there's plenty folk use much more than me.  I run it flat completely dead about twice a year, and leave it switched off but on charge overnight; so far battery performance isn't degrading, touch wood!

[PhilJ W]

[RFS]

To get back on topic ....

 

[PhilJ W]

[PhilJ W]

[PhilJ W]

[Reorte]

2 hours ago, Hroth said:

If its an emergencies only phone there's no reason to leave it on if you don't currently need it!

It's then likely to sit at the back of a drawer for a couple of years, forgotten. Rechargeable batteries tend to self-discharge in that time IME. Aside from a few brief flickers the power's been down for a few hours once in the eight years I've been here. I'll take my chances if I have to, the odds of an emergency happening just at the wrong time are low enough that it doesn't make any sense to worry about it, or do anything much to mitigate against it.

Edited December 6, 2023 by Reorte

[PhilJ W]

[PhilJ W]

[Thorness]

[Hroth]

1 hour ago, RFS said:

To get back on topic ....

 

 

Then Santa got to the section detailing the downsizing measures...

 

[PhilJ W]

[PhilJ W]

[PhilJ W]