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HeeleyBridge

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Status Updates posted by HeeleyBridge

  1. HeeleyBridge

    Out of work and got no money, A Sunday joint of bread and honey.

    1. Ian J.

      Ian J.

      Bread and honey... mmmmmmm! :-)

    2. manna

      manna

      Kinks Ehh!

  2. HeeleyBridge

    Potato of the week: Maris Piper.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      Nice one, chips, roast and a good baker! (I like beige coloured food).

    3. Mallard60022

      Mallard60022

      Charlotte.

    4. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Reginald, the Oligarch of the Potatoes is indifferent to your preferences.

  3. HeeleyBridge

    Raises a toast to King George III on this day.

    1. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      That's madness!

  4. HeeleyBridge

    says Guinness is the answer to everything

    1. DonB

      DonB

      42?

    2. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      42 Gwineshes shounds perffekt

    3. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      It is, after all, made of "more"....

  5. HeeleyBridge

    Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow.

    1. Castleacreshunter

      Castleacreshunter

      Quick,Quick.

    2. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      Make haste!

    3. vaughan45

      vaughan45

      Hasten Jason fetch a basin, uh flop. fetch a mop

  6. HeeleyBridge

    So I shouted to the driver hey conductor, you must slow down I think I see her please let me off this bus

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      bet it's not quite a jaguar?

    3. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      errr not quite mate

    4. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      was it built in fifty nine in a factory by the Tyne?

      (my good fellow)

  7. HeeleyBridge

    Sorry, did I run over your dog?

    1. Tim V

      Tim V

      It's OK, it was the neighbour's dog.

    2. Mallard60022

      Mallard60022

      Not yet.

    3. bgman

      bgman

      That's a bit lame

  8. HeeleyBridge

    Stupid people, smart phones.

    1. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Smart people phone stupids.

    2. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Horrocksford.

  9. HeeleyBridge

    Sun is shining in the sky! There ain't a cloud in sight! It's stopped raining!

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Runnin' down the avenue,

      See how the sun shines brightly

      In the city,

      In the streets where once was pity,

      Mr. Blue

      Sky is living here today,

      Hey-ey-ey

    3. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Mr. Blue Sky, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long?

      Where did we go wrong?

    4. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      Hair dye

  10. HeeleyBridge

    Take your pick and your shovel and the bold dynamite For to shift a few tons of this earthly delight

    1. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Arsenal

    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      Senokot should sort it (the natural way).

  11. HeeleyBridge

    The year is twenty two fifty eight, the place is ...

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Tim V

      Tim V

      the space between tick and tock

    3. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Haverfordwest.

    4. waggy

      waggy

      Classes 142, 143 and 144's still running in West Yorkshire

  12. HeeleyBridge

    There is no pain

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. ian

      ian

      No pain, no gain.

    3. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      I Loooove morrrphine

    4. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      I see the men in white coats. They're coming to get me. They're walking down the walls.

  13. HeeleyBridge

    Thought about joining the Apathy Cub, but I couldn't be bothered.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      I'm in a wine club - we meet in the park every morning at 10...

    3. locoholic

      locoholic

      The Apathy Club couldn't be bothered to process my application.

    4. Huw Griffiths

      Huw Griffiths

      Some people couldn't be bothered to apply.

  14. HeeleyBridge

    Toss the feathers!

    1. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Great Irish trad piece, that.

    2. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Eat the Sausages! An old folk tune from Haverfordwest.

  15. HeeleyBridge

    WANTED: Gopher wood. ASAP.

    1. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      it's stopped here...

       

      Locust anybody?

    2. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Glug glub

       

    3. Ian J.

      Ian J.

      I would prefer sapient pearwood...

  16. HeeleyBridge

    We're about 40% banana genetically, the other 60% is beer, sausages and pasties.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. locoholic

      locoholic

      It's six days into half term, and I'm now 100% bananas, thanks to my children.

    3. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      How about a large chunk of toffee?

    4. NHY 581

      NHY 581

      Seems a waste of 40%.

  17. HeeleyBridge

    Well, I woke up this morning ...

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      woke up yesterday too

      and if I wake up tomorrow

      that'll be three days in a row

    3. Chrisr40

      Chrisr40

      Better than the alternative

       

    4. 45568

      45568

      Well. That's better than the alternative.

  18. HeeleyBridge

    What is this that stands before me?

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Huw Griffiths

      Huw Griffiths

      Do you REALLY want to know?

    3. DonB

      DonB

      Travelling in blissful ignorance and long may it contiue.

    4. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Oxford.

  19. HeeleyBridge

    Will Guybrush Threepwood 'Escape from Monkey Island'?

    1. NGT6 1315

      NGT6 1315

      "You go now, and I don't rearrange your organs!"

  20. HeeleyBridge

    Windows 8 is the spawn of Satan ...

  21. HeeleyBridge

    Windows 8 is the spawn of Satan ...

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. mcrook62

      mcrook62

      change to 8.1 you know it makes sense Rodney

    3. Adamphillip

      Adamphillip

      don't worry you get to upgrade to 10 sooner or later for free

    4. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Not my machine thank $Deity, spent whole day trying to fix SiL's. Never been beaten by Windoze before. Back to *nix for me

  22. HeeleyBridge

    With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older,

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. bgman

      bgman

      Fred Flintstone

    3. cb900f

      cb900f

      I tripped the mgr

    4. locoholic

      locoholic

      HAA HAA HAA!

  23. HeeleyBridge

    Woah, I'm going to Barbados!

    1. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Actually I just read the letter again and it said "You are invited to Barnado's"

       

      Should have gone to specsavers...

    2. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      Not going on Coconut Airways, then.

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