John M Upton

The Bachmann Collectors Club NSE EPB was just another example of blatant profiteering on a still readily available item and at least two mugs fell for it, a common occurrence these days. There are however countless other examples of ones born every minute who are bidding way OTT for items that are still on shelves and traders tables for far less.

After a morning of testing including turning it around and running it the other way, I have narrowed down running problems to two distinct areas. 1: Much like Hornby's steam locos of recent times, it doesn't like turning left through older production Peco three way 'Y' points, easily fixed with a new set, pity they are now so ruddy expensive!! It also means until the S&T boys can fix it, the bay platform is barred to the VEP until further notice!! 2: The wheel set on the Unit causing pretty much all the problems is the one with the traction tyres on it, it likes to climb up and derail at random points during the journey!! It is also causing the motor bogie to stall and squeal alarmingly. That wheel set will have to be replaced, any suggestions for a matching wheel set sans said tyres that will fit easily?

Just given mine its first run and... oh dear. Because the leading two coaches are light and unpowered they were getting shoved off the line on the points, the motor is pretty lame, the traction tyres are going to have to go as they are causing the unit to almost stall on the curves and the inter unit couplings are TERRIBLE!! Bit more work needed methinks...

"Upselling" is another seemingly meaningless load of cobblers being used in business nowadays. Saw it on a sign in the back of a Burger King once, think it is the bit where the burger wallah asks if you want to upgrade to large/supersize/meal etc.

For those looking for the parts I used for my VEP ends, it is the sprue of end fittings that Replica produce for their MLV model but would work equally as well on any of the traditional BR(S) slam door units. http://www.replicara...ies/accessories Towards the bottom of this page, Ref RA110. The buckeye coupling in particular is much more realistic looking than the rather small piece Hornby have supplied (seems to have been on the same crash diet as their horns!) Simply pull out the existing draw bar hook, trim the end of the Replica coupling and push it in with a small dab of glue. The horns just lift off, then a small drill bit to open out the holes ever so slightly then refit the Replica ones. The window edges are done with a fine permanent marker, very simple to do. In fact Hornby's advert shows the NSE VEP (and incorrectly the blue one) has carrying this feature and all black cap front end VEP's should have them but yet for some reason the production version has omitted them! Better picture which shows the replacement coupling: By the way, should the inner ends of the DMCsoL's have a full set of steps to the roof? I thought these got chopped off long before last NSE livery came along like most Mk 1 stock?

The artwork on the box appears correct on the bogie orientation issue and my model is wrong. Ah well... Anyway, whilst watching The Hunt For Red October, I got to work doing a little work on one Driving Trailer: Apart from the obvious renumber to a Brighton VEP and the addition of the rather unimpressive headcode stickers (67 - decidedly unglamorous Littlehampton - Bognor shuttle!!) I have used a pencil on the ridge between the two sections of the corridor connection, used the Replica Railways EMU cab end detailing pack to replace the horns with something a bit more realistic and also fitted the tightlock coupler from the same pack as well. Meanwhile the cab front windows have been picked out in black. The background of the cable recesses should also be black, a job maybe for later. Not a huge amount of work but it does seem to at least partially address some of the more obvious cosmetic issues, especially the horns.

Whilst there were two official shades of NSE blue, fading, time since last repaint, number of times through the carriage washer, patch repairs etcetera meant that various variations in shades even on different coaches within the same unit were not uncommon.

My NSE VEP has just arrived and overall I am happy with it. As with any model I will make a few light improvements, the pencil trick on the gangways being one, plus a renumber to a Brighton unit. The same thing still strikes me, those horns are seriously undernourished but easily fixable, the first class compartment walls have already been noted elsewhere, if they were in black or a neutral grey then the starkness of the solid white wall would not have been so noticeable from the outside, again something that will receive some attention at some point. One interesting issue that has arisen though, mine is a DCC Ready version on the box, the VEP within however has a little slip of paper telling me it is fitted with a DCC chip, a fact now confirmed once I got the MBSO body off!! Looks like a some DCC fitted ones have wound up in the wrong outer boxes, not a major problem for me but may be something others will need to check.

"It's almost Christmas..." No, it isn't. And if I had my way it never would be either...

My goodness that shoe beam on the VEP is weedy!! It should be pretty much the same substantial well mounted chunk of tree trunk that the CEP has. Send that out into service and I can think the morning rush will be heavily disrupted as VEP's shed their shoe beams all over the place!!

Finally got to look at one in the flesh, the blue one in a rather unhelpfully positioned bottom glass cabinet at Engine Shed/Gaugemaster amidst their bi-annual big open weekend. It was chaos.... Anyway, back to the VEP! Whilst I can live with the cab front door error and correct it later using either something adapted from an MJT front end or maybe an etch of some kind (An idea for Brian at Shawplan perhaps?) I still think the horns on the roof are really small and weedy!! The one thing I really need to know is how easy will it be to get the glazing out as I am looking to repaint one in Southern livery (3514) at some point unless someone commissions an limited edition in the meantime. Thing is as I work for said company, chance are knowing the way the railway grape vine works if someone had approached the management for permission to produce 3514, a rumour would have floated down to me by now so as it hasn't, I had better stock up on paint again...

Only a matter of time I fear...

"Stakeholders" when used to anyone/anything who has a direct or indirect involvement with anything. "Train/Platform Interface" is now what used to be reffered to simply as "...the gap"

Something rather special and long waited for tonight, the newly released expanded and fully remastered original sound track from the film 'The Black Hole' by the late great John Barry. One of the biggest missing links in soundtrack collectors libraries for over thirty years. One of Barry's finest ever soundtracks in my opinion and there is much competition for that honour.

Rails of Sheffield also reporting they expect both blue and NSE in by the end of the week!!

I cringe (and indeed inside scream in horror) if anyone says we 'must touch base' on a particular issue. 'Thinking outside the box' is another awful phrase. I once quipped many years ago that if anyone in my department thinks outside the box on company time, they will find themselves thinking outside a Job Centre... Also one that seems popular with a certain railway author and is trotted out in every locomotive book and magazine article he writes 'The Game of the Name'.

'Commander!! Tear this train apart until you find those Oyster Cards and bring me the passengers, I want them alive!!"

Good old First Capital Connect's publicity department just came up with this great publicity shot: http://www.firstcapitalconnect.co.uk/static/filemanager/Stormtroopers_at_Elstree.jpg Caption competition gold here! 'These are not the trains you are looking for...'

Unfortunately I know of one or two old style trade unionites (the sort who back in the 1970's would bring everyone out on strike for the wrong colour bog roll in the staff toilets) who as far as 'Quiet Zone's' and also peak hour bicycle policies are concerned, they cannot be enforced in any way by railway staff as they are not in the Railway Bylaws. There are of course plenty of other things in the Railway Bylaws passengers and other associated patrons (paying and non paying) could be tripped up by, they are a veritable menu of offences!! Pity no one can remember any of them...

I am still trying to work out who provides this wonderful 100% signal coverage to those either Eastern European or Indian guys who manage to board a train at London Victoria talking loudly and very rapidly non stop on their mobile and do not stop speaking at all for the next two plus hours all the way to Bognor or Portsmouth despite the numerous tunnels and other dead spots (a.k.a. the Arun Valley, the Sussex Witchcraft Belt where no communication ever escapes!) on the way that seems to kill the mobile signal on everyone else's mobile!! Better still are the numpties who are paying bills or shopping over the phone on their mobile. On one packed commuter train, one of these numpties called out loudly her entire credit card details including the CVV number not once but twice to which one smartly dressed commuter turned to his wife afterwards and said 'Fancy dinner tonight dear, she's paying'.

Ah, I also see the interestingly meaningless 'Code 3' from the Model Bus World has now escaped into the model railway market. It is used to make something sound far more unique and special, usually when it isn't, just a standard model with a bit of extra paint slapped on or a number changed, Have always hated the 'Code #' system that some bus model floggers insist on using, it is virtually meaningless and thankfully due to the almost total and catastrophic collapse of the collectable die cast market some years back, all but extinct.

...and a 1981 built ECW bodied Bristol VR of Southdown passing by near the Wimpy Bar!! One that stood out for me some years ago was the BBC Joan Hickson version of Miss Marple 'The 4:15 from Paddington' which featured said train in three different locations. The smokebox numberplate remained constant throughout, the loco it was fitted to changed at least twice!! Best non railway one I have seen in recent times was the last series of that series with Ross Kemp as an SAS bloke. Three consecutive episodes set in various overseas countries on three different continents all featured scenes filmed in the same very British looking sand quarry and one episode that obviously called for some set dressing in the form of a small palm tree at strategic locations featured the same plant in several different places, at one point with the plant pot it travelled in very much visible!!

If I recall the out take you are thinking of came from the early 1980's, possibly The Onedin Line as I remember couple on cliff top about to romantically entangle, 18th century sailing ship below them and then a Sealink ferry promptly sails by in full view of the camera!!