RMweb Premium Tim Dubya Posted July 18, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 18, 2016 (edited) Working classes now eating Viennetta WORKING class families are now eating Viennetta for dessert, it has been revealed. In further evidence of societal breakdown, researchers found that more working class people are eating the once ‘posh’ ice cream despite fears of it making them look ‘slightly middle class’. Norman Steele, from Bolton, said: “I love a bit of Viennetta after my pie barm dinner. I love it so much I’m even thinking about putting it in a barm at some point. “It’s just a shame it doesn’t go with gravy.” Mary Fisher, from Burnley, added: “We recently won some money on the lottery, so Viennetta has become a big part of our life. “I stick a slab of it in my lunch-box each morning, along with some oysters and a flask full of that expensive Indonesian coffee that the mongooses ###### out. “It’s probably what Beyonce’s lunch-box looks like.” Edited July 18, 2016 by Tim Dubya Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeeleyBridge Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceptic Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Swans to Replace Trident AGGRESSIVE swans are to replace Britain’s nuclear arsenal. The swans will fly under radar before landing in enemy territory, pecking troops and frightening civilians away by waggling their heads and looking crazy. An MOD spokesman said, “A large flock of a thousand birds also produces a huge amount of slimy green ###### that smells like rotten fish, making any city they land in uninhabitable for a thousand years. “Nuclear weapons are extremely expensive to operate and maintain whereas with swans you just need a few bags of stale Wonderloaf and some pond weed. “Swans thrive on violence and have a strong sense of patriotism due to being owned by the Queen. The hard part is getting them to go in the right direction.” Please bear in mind that Swans, not only if they chose to land and nest in the UK, but also elsewhere, will have, and will continue to receive the full protection of any, future, reigning UK Monarch. Thereby, any person choosing to harm such wonderful creatures will be deemed a Traitor and / or Enemy of the State. Be warned, Vladimir P. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bertiedog Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 YOU da Ke tools... a £5.99 set of pliers and cutters from the Chinese....top quality 5pcs Min pliers set..... with Warning it may possibly cause death when it is used incorrectly Super Pliers Set Stephen. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted July 18, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 18, 2016 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bertiedog Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 YOU da Ke tools... a £5.99 set of pliers and cutters from the Chinese....top quality 5pcs Min pliers set..... with Warning it may possibly cause death when it is used incorrectly Super Pliers Set Stephen. So far no attacks from the pliers, no threats from the cutters, no death threat immanent............... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Blue Streak Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Mod 4 - that was quick, even for you! Machines don't sleep - ever !!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium TheQ Posted July 19, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 19, 2016 Machines don't sleep - ever !!!!!! But their batteries go flat.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 That reminds me, sometimes four year olds have a wonderful way of expressing themselves. After a busy day culminating in a long car journey, I opened the car door for my daughter when we arrived home. She took one look at me and in a quiet tired voice said "legs batteries flat!" Which probably summed it up better than saying it any other way! 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bike2steam Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 (edited) Thought it might appeal to fellow German Shep owners. Edited July 19, 2016 by bike2steam 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Tim Dubya Posted July 19, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 19, 2016 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeremyC Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 (edited) Please bear in mind that Swans, not only if they chose to land and nest in the UK, but also elsewhere, will have, and will continue to receive the full protection of any, future, reigning UK Monarch. Thereby, any person choosing to harm such wonderful creatures will be deemed a Traitor and / or Enemy of the State. Be warned, Vladimir P. Except, apparently, in Orkney: One interesting anomaly is the Mute Swan. About 1910 a Kirkwall lawyer was determined to prove that Udal Law still had force, and accompanied by his friend, the Procurator Fiscal, went out to Harray Loch and shot a swan. The case went to the High Court and the Crown lost. Everywhere else in UK the Crown owned the Swans - in Orkney they were, and still are, the property of the people as the Norwegian Crown never claimed such ownership. Nowadays we do not shoot swans, but the principles of the old Norse Udal Law still stand. http://www.charles-tait.co.uk/guide/orkguide/pages/udal_law.html Jeremy Edited July 19, 2016 by JeremyC Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeeleyBridge Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceptic Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Except, apparently, in Orkney: One interesting anomaly is the Mute Swan. About 1910 a Kirkwall lawyer was determined to prove that Udal Law still had force, and accompanied by his friend, the Procurator Fiscal, went out to Harray Loch and shot a swan. The case went to the High Court and the Crown lost. Everywhere else in UK the Crown owned the Swans - in Orkney they were, and still are, the property of the people as the Norwegian Crown never claimed such ownership. Nowadays we do not shoot swans, but the principles of the old Norse Udal Law still stand. http://www.charles-tait.co.uk/guide/orkguide/pages/udal_law.html Jeremy So, the ol' Mute Swan had no say in the matter. Damn Vikings. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted July 19, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 19, 2016 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
34theletterbetweenB&D Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Heard not half an hour past from a dog walker in the woods: "GUFF, GUFF ... come on, guff" Now if you had a really strong lisp, would you call your dog Gus? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted July 20, 2016 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 20, 2016 One shouldn't laugh at the misfortune of others but when you read the headline and look at the first photo ....... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-36833814 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeeleyBridge Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horsetan Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 One shouldn't laugh at the misfortune of others but when you read the headline and look at the first photo ....... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-36833814 Cholera? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted July 20, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 20, 2016 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted July 20, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 20, 2016 dentist.jpg I would've kept my eyes open..... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinty3f Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 dentist.jpg I find this post unnecessarily titillating. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted July 20, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 20, 2016 I find this post unnecessarily titillating. Maybe they should be renamed dentits..........................? Hat, getting coat, etc. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 On a different subject:- As Milton Jones pointed out (on Mock The Week), if you type 'lost medieval servant boy' into Google, it comes up 'page not found'! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG John Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 On a different subject:- As Milton Jones pointed out (on Mock The Week), if you type 'lost medieval servant boy' into Google, it comes up 'page not found'! No it doesn't Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now