RMweb Gold teaky Posted December 6, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 6, 2020 38 minutes ago, leopardml2341 said: Will this do, Mick? Yes, but are you interested in some double glazing? Or perhaps some tree surgery, art prints, over priced cleaning products ... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dagworth Posted December 6, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 6, 2020 1 hour ago, PhilJ W said: GROAN! At least it was a joke! Andi 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mountain Goat Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 Why do elephants have wrinkles? They cant fit on ironing boards. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 6, 2020 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 6, 2020 2 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 6, 2020 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 6, 2020 1 1 16 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 6, 2020 2 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 3 minutes ago, PhilJ W said: Visit?? Boris behind the reality again..... She, is already here!! Julian 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 38 minutes ago, PhilJ W said: The people who do body painting are getting better and better.... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted December 7, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 7, 2020 9 hours ago, PhilJ W said: 1 in 12 chance, lucky bloke! Mike. 6 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted December 7, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 7, 2020 2 hours ago, Enterprisingwestern said: 1 in 12 chance, lucky bloke! Not necessarily. She might have weighted it so his desired result never comes up. 1 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted December 7, 2020 Share Posted December 7, 2020 1 hour ago, Budgie said: Not necessarily. She might have weighted it so his desired result never comes up. Or the pins over the desired outcome have a covering of transparent plastic so the pawl never engages... 1 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 7, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 7, 2020 3 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 7, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 7, 2020 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 7, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 7, 2020 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 7, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 7, 2020 3 2 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted December 7, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 7, 2020 2 hours ago, Hroth said: Or the pins over the desired outcome have a covering of transparent plastic so the pawl never engages... Enterprisingwestern seems to think it's a useful idea! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sir douglas Posted December 7, 2020 Share Posted December 7, 2020 News: the people are revolting! Me: verb or adjective? 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted December 7, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 7, 2020 5 minutes ago, sir douglas said: News: the people are revolting! Me: verb or adjective? These days most headline writers would not know what you are talking about and the article writer would probably have to look in a dictionary at what you are talking about! 5 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted December 7, 2020 Share Posted December 7, 2020 4 hours ago, Chris116 said: These days most headline writers would not know what you are talking about and the article writer would probably have to look in a dictionary at what you are talking about! Perhaps they should consult Grandma, rather than a dictionary... Julian 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stanley Melrose Posted December 7, 2020 Share Posted December 7, 2020 Just heard on Channel 4 News that hospitals in Wales are treating people with Corona Virus. I confess I heard that the wrong way and wondered what their poor patients had done to deserve what the vaccine deniers should be getting. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 7, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 7, 2020 1 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 7, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 7, 2020 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted December 8, 2020 Share Posted December 8, 2020 A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie? The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves. The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.' The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman, The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties...' The rabbit looks aghast. The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.' The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it.' The masses' bated breath is ear shatteringly silent. The barman, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll love it.' 'Ok,' says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.' The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie. He then waves to the crowd and leaves.... NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!! ----- One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar. The barman says, 'Who are you?', To which he is answered, 'I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.' The barman says, 'I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.' The rabbit says, 'Yes I know.' The barman said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.' The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it. The barman said, 'You never came back, what happened?' 'I DIED', said the rabbit. 'NO!' said the barman. 'What from?' After a short pause, the rabbit said... 'Mixin-me-toasties.' 1 6 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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