StueyG Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 12 hours ago, raymw said: Not sure which, either Aldi or Lidl, sell a chocy biscuit called Polar, and they have no jokes hidden in the wrapper - just like penguins, I guess. perhaps we could start some crowd funding? In Aldi they are called "Seal" bars, but no seal jokes fortunately. Same taste in chocolate but no taste in jokes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted January 31, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 31, 2021 1 hour ago, StueyG said: In Aldi they are called "Seal" bars, but no seal jokes fortunately. Sir! Sir! I know seal joke, sir. Why don't seals eat penguins? They can't take the wrappers off. 3 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 1 hour ago, StueyG said: In Aldi they are called "Seal" bars, but no seal jokes fortunately. Same taste in chocolate but no taste in jokes! A baby seal walks into a bar.... Says I'll have a whiskey. Bartender says what kind? Baby seal says anything other than a Canadian Club. 7 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 5 minutes ago, BoD said: Sir! Sir! I know seal joke, sir. Why don't seals eat penguins? They can't take the wrappers off. 5 minutes ago, KeithMacdonald said: A baby seal walks into a bar.... Says I'll have a whiskey. Bartender says what kind? Baby seal says anything other than a Canadian Club. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymw Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 There's no winning at this game... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted January 31, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 31, 2021 8 minutes ago, Hroth said: I can also think of a better use of a Canadian Club, e.g, not wasting it on seals! Mike. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 2 minutes ago, raymw said: There's no winning at this game... There rarely is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 23 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: Just for a change, how about a riddle? My first is in Cheltenham but not in Tewksbury My second’s in Marlborough but isn’t in Avebury My thirds shows in Tiverton and also in Taunton The fourth’s not in Watchet but in Midsomer Norton My fifth is in Painswick but sure ain’t in Gloucester The sixth is in Worcester – I think that’s enough, sir. You’re looking for warmth on this wintry day. Well, the answer definitely isn't "A Starbuck's". They're flipping everywhere. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold TheSignalEngineer Posted January 31, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 31, 2021 I don't need anger management. JUST DON'T ANNOY ME!! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PenrithBeacon Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 16 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 On 30/01/2021 at 14:58, KeithMacdonald said: Just for a change, how about a riddle? My first is in Cheltenham but not in Tewksbury My second’s in Marlborough but isn’t in Avebury My thirds shows in Tiverton and also in Taunton The fourth’s not in Watchet but in Midsomer Norton My fifth is in Painswick but sure ain’t in Gloucester The sixth is in Worcester – I think that’s enough, sir. You’re looking for warmth on this wintry day. Hoodie? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, TheSignalEngineer said: I don't need anger management. JUST DON'T ANNOY ME!! I need to learn to be more patient. And I need to do it RIGHT NOW! Edited January 31, 2021 by CameronL 2 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 31 minutes ago, PenrithBeacon said: Quick! Back into the Tardis!!! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 One Million Years BC isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amand Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 (edited) Edited January 31, 2021 by Amand Yes 4 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted January 31, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 31, 2021 Two married friends are out drinking. One says to the other, "I can never sneak into the house after I've been drinking. I've tried everything. I turn the headlights off before I go in the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off and creep upstairs. I undress in the bathroom. I do everything I can think of, but my wife still yells at me for staying out so late." The friend replies: "Do what I do. I screech into the driveway, slam the front door, stomp up the stairs, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap my wife's a** and say loudly, 'WHO WANTS TO GET S*X ?' She always pretends to be asleep. Top 1 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted January 31, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 31, 2021 The Importance of Punctuation An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing." 7 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted January 31, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 31, 2021 2 hours ago, Sidecar Racer said: The Importance of Punctuation An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: I like how you've modernised that joke by using "whiteboard"..................... 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted February 1, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 1, 2021 10 hours ago, newbryford said: I like how you've modernised that joke by using "whiteboard"..................... Not me Guv , I just copy and paste . 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post raymw Posted February 1, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted February 1, 2021 26 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tankerman Posted February 1, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted February 1, 2021 On 17/01/2021 at 16:59, Geevor Clayton Loco said: Will it have a location thingy on it, so we can track and trace and cull the ginsters? You ebben got worry about that my 'andsome, they up country people do actually ate um as fast as Ginsters mak um. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted February 1, 2021 Share Posted February 1, 2021 2 1 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted February 1, 2021 Share Posted February 1, 2021 1 hour ago, raymw said: I went to a blood bank. I couldn't find the cashier. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted February 1, 2021 Share Posted February 1, 2021 16 hours ago, newbryford said: I like how you've modernised that joke by using "whiteboard"..................... I feel discriminated against........ 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post leopardml2341 Posted February 1, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted February 1, 2021 2 1 3 18 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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