RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted January 5, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 5, 2022 "Most people are shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am." 1 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted January 5, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 5, 2022 15 minutes ago, Ian J. said: "Most people are shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am." As to your plumbing... Well, let's just say I've not heard anything official but have seen some leaks. 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 Leaks? Liked by - "petethemole"..... I think we might have a clue to who the mole is. It's not Toad, Ratty, Badger or Ivan 1 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted January 6, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 6, 2022 "I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B." 1 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted January 6, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 6, 2022 Just now, Ian J. said: "I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B." 2B or not 2B, that is the pencil: whether tis better in the ear or up the nose... 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Welchester Posted January 6, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 6, 2022 2 hours ago, Compound2632 said: 2B or not 2B, that is the pencil: whether tis better in the ear or up the nose... I think for most of us, Tubby or not tubby? Fat is the question. 1 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted January 6, 2022 Share Posted January 6, 2022 59 minutes ago, Coombe Vale said: Did you hear about the Pre-School teacher who was helping one of the children put on his "Wellie boot's"? At least wellieboots don't have laces to tie.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted January 6, 2022 Share Posted January 6, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, Welchester said: I think for most of us, Tubby or not tubby? Fat is the question. Or for the digital age..... When 2B OR NOT 2B is the question, FF is the answer. To those who take delight in pointing out repeat posts, I acknowledge that I may have posted this before. I just can't be @rsed to check Edited January 6, 2022 by leopardml2341 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted January 7, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 7, 2022 "My first job was working in an orange juice factory. I got canned because I couldn't concentrate." 1 9 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted January 7, 2022 Share Posted January 7, 2022 no vax jokavic 2 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted January 7, 2022 Share Posted January 7, 2022 (edited) Why did the garden spade become so popular? Because It was a ground breaking invention. Edited January 7, 2022 by leopardml2341 2 6 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted January 7, 2022 Share Posted January 7, 2022 Bought one of those humpty dumpty toys from Aldi earlier realy good value as comes with Aldi kings horses and Aldi kings men 1 15 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 8, 2022 Share Posted January 8, 2022 3 hours ago, leopardml2341 said: Why did the garden spade become so popular? Because It was a ground breaking invention. Hoe Hoe Hoe Where's the groan button.... 1 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dagworth Posted January 8, 2022 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 8, 2022 25 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said: Hoe Hoe Hoe Where's the groan button.... Oh for forks sake, I don't dig some of this so called humour... Andi 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted January 8, 2022 Share Posted January 8, 2022 steve 2 2 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted January 8, 2022 Share Posted January 8, 2022 18 hours ago, leopardml2341 said: Why did the garden spade become so popular? Because It was a ground breaking invention. 15 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: Hoe Hoe Hoe Where's the groan button.... 14 hours ago, Dagworth said: Oh for forks sake, I don't dig some of this so called humour... Andi I just came in for four candles..... 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted January 8, 2022 Share Posted January 8, 2022 What did Charles Dicken's find written in his school report?. It was the best of terms it was the worst of terms. 1 8 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted January 8, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 8, 2022 "I've written a song about tortillas. It's a wrap." 2 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted January 8, 2022 Share Posted January 8, 2022 I've writing a stage play about Tornadoes! I'm on the first draught... I've also had trouble with the unions about the scenery but it should all blow over...... 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted January 8, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 8, 2022 I was going to relay a humorous story about swine, but that would just end up in all sorts of piggery jokery... 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Tangoman69 Posted January 9, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted January 9, 2022 I just found a half frozen tiny bird as I walked home, so I put it in my pocket to give it a chance of survival . When I showed the wife, she told me how much she loved me for being so kind and sensitive, so I thought I'd try for a kiss & a cuddle, as she was in a good mood !! She said "Please, not in front of the chilled wren". 3 19 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted January 9, 2022 Share Posted January 9, 2022 18 hours ago, Ian J. said: "I've written a song about tortillas. It's a wrap." I've just written a song called "Cyan, Navy, Turquoise, Aquamarine, Sapphire." It's a blues song. 1 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Two_sugars Posted January 9, 2022 Share Posted January 9, 2022 Sorry but . . .I have never had the Aquamarine for anyone . . . . . but . . the knaas . . . .as arnly siventy . . . . John Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post peanuts Posted January 9, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted January 9, 2022 Recently Boris was visiting the North East and a local councillor was showing him around a particularly deprived area.Boris noticing the attentive journalists decided to show his true get it done attitude. He asked the councillor, “Tell me, what are you top three concerns right here, right now?”The councillor said “ well firstly they are closing our local small hospital and we also don’t have enough ambulances”Boris took his mobile out and walked away chatting into the phone.He returned and said loudly , “ I’ve had a word and the hospital is not going to be closed and in fact it’s going to be expanded and you’ve got another 10 ambulances.”Boris then said, “What’s number two?” “Well” the councillor said “The water treatment works up the river keeps emptying raw sewage into the river polluting the water we get for drinking and our children used to swim in the river. “Boris again took his phone out and wandered off chatting into it. He turned watching the journalist waiting to write every word and said “I’ve had a chat and the sewage works will be fined and pay for bottled water for everyone until it fixes all the problems”Boris then asked “So what was the third issue?”The councillor looking puzzled quietly said,, “ We don’t have any mobile signal here.” 2 1 7 23 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted January 9, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 9, 2022 (edited) GROAN!! And that is for a whole bunch of the above!! Edited January 9, 2022 by J. S. Bach 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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