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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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1 hour ago, RJS1977 said:

 

Peter Seller's son Michael did a similar thing.

 

Peter had taken delivery of a new Bentley and was taking some cine film of Michael sat behind the wheel pretending to be a racing driver, when he spotted a scratch along the bodywork on one side. Peter went indoors to telephone the dealership and came back out to find Michael had painted a 'go faster stripe' over the scratch to 'fix it' and 'make it look like a proper racing car'.

 

Sadly Peter's response was to 'fix' Michael's toy cars by stamping on them :-(

 

Interesting insight.

 

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3 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said:

In view of the current situation ....

 

image.png.c51be4efc2dae41ab04b18313cca4cd2.png

 

I've danced 9/8 a lot. comes out dum dum dum DAH.  or dum dum dum deedilly 

never did 13 that I know. 12 as DAH dum dum DAH dum  -- I keep wanting to add another dum.

24?  I know 25 DAH dum dum   DAH dum dum   dum dum DAH dum dum  feels very nice.

 

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10 hours ago, BR60103 said:

 

I've danced 9/8 a lot. comes out dum dum dum DAH.  or dum dum dum deedilly 

never did 13 that I know. 12 as DAH dum dum DAH dum  -- I keep wanting to add another dum.

24?  I know 25 DAH dum dum   DAH dum dum   dum dum DAH dum dum  feels very nice.

 

 

My girlfriend's a dancer. She's got four children aged

 

5, 6, 7, 8.....💃

 

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You've never lived if you haven't experienced at least one episode of the epochal Jazz 625!

 

 

Introduced by the cool dude Humphrey Littleton to boot!!!!

 

And for all Dave Brubeck fans out there...

 

 

Take 5 on Jazz 625!

 

 

 

Edited by Hroth
A little bit of Brubeck....
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2 hours ago, Hroth said:

Introduced by the cool dude Humphrey Littleton to boot!!!!

 

Ah yes, Humphrey Littleton 😀

 

That's a good-enough excuse to post this ... the late great Humphrey Littleton ... and the Complete Samantha!

 

 

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15 hours ago, F-UnitMad said:

Ok I admit it. I had to google the name. Never heard of him. 🙄🙄🤣

Take 5 was the first 45 rpm record I bought, circa 1961, and while my taste has wandered in various directions - these days (at 73!)  I enjoy a lot of House and Electronica - my records never included Beatles, Stones or other mainstream acts.

 

Miles Davis's Bitches Brew from 50 years ago remains my idea of the seminal crossover between jazz and funk, and MD went further and further with that in the next 20 years. Some jazzers hated him for that - but then jazz often evokes bad passions. When in the fifties Miles Davis employed pianist Bill Evans - another fave of mine - there was dissent among other band members, because Evans was white!

 

People say they don't like Jazz - but it is a very broad kirk that has opened out a lot since Dixieland a century ago. It is also full of virtuosi - musicians at the top of their instrument, unlike pop, which is about simple and accessible sounds from attractive younger people who are telegenic. 

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19 hours ago, Steamport Southport said:

 

My girlfriend's a dancer. She's got four children aged

 

5, 6, 7, 8.....💃

 

 

I heard of a drummer with 4 daughters: Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 3, Anna 4.

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10 minutes ago, LimboBrit said:

I can't agree because jazz has so many different styles. How many types of marmite are there?

Two or three! Marmite itself, Vegemite, Bovril, store brand yeast extract (https://missvickie.com/marmite-substitute/)

 

That wasn’t the point though, the point is that you either love it or hate it!

Sheesh!

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21 minutes ago, Allegheny1600 said:

Two or three! Marmite itself, Vegemite, Bovril, store brand yeast extract (https://missvickie.com/marmite-substitute/)

 

That wasn’t the point though, the point is that you either love it or hate it!

Sheesh!

As far as I'm concerned Marmite might as well be made by dredging the bottom of the local canal. It's a byproduct of the brewing industry - i.e. all the stuff that's thrown out so that beer is actually good.

 

Seriously though, when it comes to jazz I neither love it or hate it. It doesn't do anything much for me but a bit of jazz in the right setting works.

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