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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
Message added by AY Mod,

Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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1 hour ago, Hroth said:

Proper folk music always starts

 

"As I was out walking all in the month of May"

 

and so on...

 

 

Which generally boils down to:

 

Oh when I was one and twenty, I courted* girls a plenty,

But now I'm twenty-two, I'm stuck with only you.

 

*this is the tidied-up version for publication, you understand.

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37 minutes ago, Compound2632 said:

 

Which generally boils down to:

 

Oh when I was one and twenty, I courted* girls a plenty,

But now I'm twenty-two, I'm stuck with only you.

 

*this is the tidied-up version for publication, you understand.

 

Because,

 

And her dad spoke to my dad so we were wed in June*

 

* It were a close run thing between the wedding and the stork...

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1 hour ago, Hroth said:

 

Because,

 

And her dad spoke to my dad so we were wed in June*

 

* It were a close run thing between the wedding and the stork...

 

Unlike C&W, English folk song relies on subtle understatement. One divines the singer's predicament and joins with him in lamenting the passing of the pleasures of youth. Description of the details of the wedding ceremony is unnecessary baggage.

Edited by Compound2632
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19 hours ago, Hroth said:

 

Well, Classical Music can lay its hands on some cannon for the 1812 Overture, and Congreve rockets when performing the Music for the Royal Fireworks.

 

You wouldn't want to annoy the Royal Liverpool Phil...

 

 

Who's Phil?

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20 hours ago, Dagworth said:

That'll be us then, 68 of them :)

 

Andi (I work for The Alarm)

 

Tenpole Tudor had the swords of a thousand men, which always seemed a bit of a waste of time to me, just the swords and no men to wield them, a thousand men with swords would have been far more effective...

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18 hours ago, Steamport Southport said:

Not so much as joke but I've just been reminded that SpynjBob Pantsgwâr is Welsh for SpongeBob SquarePants!

 

 

 

National Eisteddfod in Llanelli years ago, neuadd bwyd (food hall), everything in Welsh.  Already familiar with 'scod a sclods (pysgod a sclodiau, fish'n'chips), but fell in love with the phonetic Welsh of 'Nwdls'!

 

Noodles, but actually spelled in a Llanelli accent.

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1 hour ago, Compound2632 said:

 

Unlike C&W, English folk song relies on subtle understatement. One divines the singer's predicament and joins with him in lamenting the passing of the pleasures of youth. Description of the details of the wedding ceremony is unnecessary baggage.

Or are narrated from the girls' viewpoint, regretting the loss of virginity to some soldier who has of course deserted her (All Around My Hat, Let No Man Steal Away Your Time)

 

As opposed to Scottish folk, I mean the Pictish stuff rather than the Gaelic jigs and reels. You have to have Illicit sex, death, gore, betrayal, murder, decomposed corpses as food (Twa Corbies) and if you can factor in the construction of a working harp from the victim's ribcage found on the beach by intinerant minstrels, so much the better (Cruel Sister).  Mwa ha ha ha haaa!  Lay the bent to the bonnie broom...

 

Border Ballads are, logically enough, halfway houses, usually a 'justified' killing (Mattie Groves, the Ballad of Chevy Chase).  Irish folk is sometimes downright chilling (She Moved Through The Fair, I Am Stretched On Your Grave), but just as good as English for sex euphemisms (Gathering Mushrooms). 

Edited by The Johnster
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16 hours ago, The Johnster said:

Or are narrated from the girls' viewpoint, regretting the loss of virginity to some soldier who has of course deserted her (All Around My Hat, Let No Man Steal Away Your Time)

"A Bunch of Time" has the added sinister dimension in that, when the sailor took her virginity, he "gave to her  a rose, a rose  that never would decay." Was this a symbol of his love for her, or did he infect her with syphilis?

 

Laugh a minute, folk music. So many folk songs can  be summed up as "There was a young girl, and one day she died" or "there was a ship that went to sea  and sank." Ten words is about enough. 

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